Heaven's April Showers
by kamiibabycoo
Summary: When she loses her family, the homeless and lost Neveah finds solace in a small town, where secrets stay hidden until the right person, the right place, and the right time all align to heal the right wound. Can a wolf help her through the greatest tragedy of all, or will the wounded become the healer?
1. This Lonely Road

**New story after a long hiatus. Feeling the waters with two chapters before I really get into it and there are lots of twists planned with this one. Leave me a review letting me know what you think or improvements. Title tentative for now.**

"Get me another drink, sweetheart." My mom was sprawled on the couch, swishing the last of, what I assume was, whiskey in her raised hand.

"How about some dinner, mom?" I flinched when the glass hit the wall opposite of her.

"I said another drink, please." Her teeth were clenched. I sighed as I went to the kitchen. Most of the bottles on the table were empty, and they hadn't been here last week. She must've been blowing through my dads life insurance. The freezer air felt clean on my face as I reached for the ice cube tray, and I stopped for a second to process the thought of my father. My parents were only 55. Same birthday. Weird coincidence, beautiful story.

Same hospital and everything. With how close the times were, it was likely they spent sometime in the nursery together. My dad had joked that he wanted to be the first to greet her. They would make up stories to strangers about how they'd spent time in the same crib holding hands hours after being born, whenever people asked how they'd met. It was cute. And it really did seem like they'd been best friends forever.

When I looked at the kitchen table, I remembered my father that morning. He drank matcha green tea in the mornings, a habit he'd picked up at his office from all his woman colleagues. His breakfast was leftovers, lentil shepherds pie. He joked about the traffic, how it would be 'the death of him'.

I felt my eyes well up and fought them back. The ice cubes clinked as they hit the sides of the glass. The liquid was comforting as I took a sip just to feel the burn pull back the tears from my eyes. It had been the death of him. That car accident was quick, but he had suffered. He was conscious when the ambulance got there, and he'd been screaming because his legs were pinned by the engine, but not enough to dull his pain. Shock was supposed to have set in, but it hadn't. The driver of the car that hit his had overdosed while driving, I couldn't tell you how, but it had taken them both.

"Neveah?"

"I'm coming mom." I strode away from the kitchen quickly, trying to forget what he looked like by the stove when he first taught me how to make a quiche, or trying to convince me to stop drinking coffee and switch to his 'amazing powdered green heaven'.

'Heaven for my heaven.' He'd put his arm around my shoulders and laughed, his hand on his gut once I punched him.

"Here." My mother accepted the glass and then turned her attention to the TV.

"What do you want for dinner mom?"

"There's a few twenties in my purse. Go get me some vodka, love."

"Mom, let me cook."

"No, Neveah." She looked at me, for the first time since my father had been killed. "You will let me drink, and you will go get me what I ask you for. Because you're my daughter. And of all people, you understand that I lost something I can never get back." I stared at her, feeling the numbness rising in my legs.

"I lost him that day too." My mother stared back at the TV and took a long drink of her glass, letting it fall to the floor by the couch as she finished.

"Children are supposed to bury their parents." She responded listlessly. "Now, to the store with you. Or do I have to drive myself?"

"No." Losing them both to car accidents would be more terrifying than watching her drink like this. I went to the door and paused to turn to her.

"I love you." She had the decency to turn her head and smile, but didn't respond. I flew my coat over my shoulders as I stepped outside. My mom wasn't on that couch anymore. Just a misguided broken heart. The keys were burning hot in my hand.

 _A year and a half later._

I realized I needed new windshield wipers about ten minutes after driving into my trip. Thankfully, I'd at least had the insight to put on new tires before the trip along with all the fluid changes, but not much else. Annie had promised me her boyfriend, sorry, husband would do all the little repairs I hadn't thought about doing in years. He owned a shop down here, and hired a bunch of guys to work for him on a casual basis. She'd laughed, and said that it kept up, but the community just didn't have the customer base for it to flourish.

Annie and I had known each other since high school, and she had been travelling around the country trying to figure out what city she wanted to settle down only 6 months after her 19th birthday. . Her job as a transcriptionist/translator was enough to keep her going and gave her the freedom to travel to keep her sanity. She met Kyle in less than a year, when she had spent an overnight trip in a city near the town he lived, and hadn't left each other since. The amount of postcards I had stacked in a scrapbook from them and their travels was insane. We hadn't seen each other for five years, since she first left. Somehow, Annie and I managed to stay in contact, and even keep the title of best friend.

I was asked to be the maid of honor in her wedding last year, but my father passed away two months prior, and my mom fell… ill soon after so I stayed behind to take care of her. I'd come home from the hospital a few weeks after, trying to process the state my mother was in, when I'd opened the package containing the photos from their wedding. I called her right away to thank her, but when I started sobbing she stayed on the phone with me for hours after. Annie and I were soulmates, in a strange deep and complicated way.

Their house was so Annie I didn't even have to look for the number; who else would have flowerpots shaped as cats on their front porch? Also, she was sitting on the steps waiting. I barely had time to put the car into park before she was opening my driver's door and pulling me out of my seat.

"Omg, I can't believe it." She pulled back, her eyes wide, to survey me. "You look so good."

"The gym does that." Laughing, I pulled her back into the hug.

"I can't believe you're here." She smelled like pine, when the needles are still fresh and green. She felt like home.

"Where's this husband of yours?" I asked, wiping at my eyes and trying to pre-occupy myself by pulling my long hair into a ponytail. "Who's gonna carry all these bags?"

"Your concierge is here." I heard a deep voice from the porch. His smile was wide, his teeth stark white against his tan skin. His hair was longer, pulled back into a small ponytail at the base of his neck. He was tall, dark, and gorgeous, but I wasn't surprised. Annie was a stunner herself with her dark hair and her equally as dark eyes. She was tan, but more artificial than natural. We were both as white as it comes. "Let me grab something for you."

"Oh I was just kidding." I went to sidestep to the trunk when he pulled me in for a hug.

"Welcome to my humble abode." His warm body was a shock, despite how the inside of my car could've rivalled the inside of the sun.

"Thanks. Not to be a bother or anything, but I'm gonna need to be fed soon." Annie started to laugh and came over to grab one of my bags as well.

"We have muffins? And I'm making Shephards pie tonight."

"Sounds amazing." I responded.

It took only a quick trip up the stairs for her to show me my room. The view astounded me. There was a reading nook almost directly across from the door, with a large window that viewed the forest behind the backyard. I could see the start of a path between two thick trunked trees, and wondered where it led. The bed was huge, and covered in a large blue fluffy duvet. A bookcase and a desk was to the right of the nook.

"This is amazing." My voice came out whispy.

"Is that your new favorite word?" She asked, seemingly amused. She dropped my bag by the foot of the bed. "Let me give you a quick tour!" The house was impressive, with four bedrooms and four bathrooms, an open concept kitchen dining area, and the living room catered with an impressive sound system. "I'll let Kyle show you the 'man cave'. He's very protective of it."

"No girls allowed!" He yelled from somewhere in the house. She rolled her eyes, but the smile on her face was hard to ignore. Reaching for a muffin, Annie passed me a knife and some butter before speaking.

"This is weird hey?" I nodded and took a large bite of the muffin.

"It's just been so long. To be honest, I never imagined you here but it seems so you."

Her eyes gleamed. "I've never been happier than I am here."

"It helps your husband looks as though he's been carved from marble." She shrieked with laughter at my comment, something she'd been exceptionally known for throughout high school. We talked casually for another hour or so before she decided to start dinner.

"Hey, I'm sorry I missed your wedding." I said softly. Annie stopped chopping the carrots for only a second before continuing, not turning around.

"You've apologized enough."

"I know, but I still-"

"Your parents needed you." She was firm, her voice unwavering. "You had no choice. I wouldn't have let you come knowing that." Annie didn't know the truth. She knew how my dad had died, but I hadn't told her the story of my mom. She didn't know about the drinking. And she didn't know about the suicide attempt. I struggled with telling her, to let my guts fill the kitchen, but Kyle came blundering down the stairs, as if sensing the tense silence.

"Hey sweetheart, I gotta go to the shop. Jacob just got six vehicles in, all minor stuff, but he won't be able to get it done before he has to go."

"Okay. Think you'll be home for dinner?"

"Don't wait up for me or anything, I'll heat it up when I'm back." He kissed her on the cheek and squeezed her shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you." She smiled as he kissed her hair and pulled back.

"See you later, Nevaeh." He waved a bit before he was out the door. Annie didn't seem too put out, and kept along chopping her vegetables. The newspaper on the table had a large headline across the front: 'Wolves of Legend Return?' with a blurry picture of what honestly looked like a bear more than anything.

"You have mythical creatures here?"

"Mythical creatures. Superstitious old women. Same thing." She shrugged. "There's a book upstairs in your room with the legends from Kyle's hometown in it, if you want to read it when you're bored. It's pretty interesting, and I know you're into that kind of stuff."

"'That kind of stuff' as in reading?"

"Yeah that." She chuckled. "Hey," Stopping, she turned to me. "I have a surprise for you. Wanna watch it while dinner's cooking?"

"Sure?" She nodded and turned back. As it turns out, the surprise was from her wedding.

"I got Embry, one of the groomsmen, to wear it and stand in place of where you would've been. It was a really small camera, so he barely knew it was there." It was a point-of-view video, and I felt myself tearing up again before a few minutes had passed.

"You did this for me?" Choking, I saw her wipe away her own set of tears.

"You're my best friend, of course I did." We watched the whole thing, hours of it, only stopping to grab dinner. We must've fallen asleep because I came to as the front door opened.

"Hey." I yawned as Kyle took off his boots and came over to look at his sleeping wife. "How was work?"

"Much longer than I thought it would take."

"Owning a business kinda sucks sometimes hey?"

"Well, co-owning makes it a little easier. At least Jacob had to suffer through it with me." He hoisted Annie up into his arms, who was still passed out. "Night Nevaeh."

"Night." I folded the blankets as he went upstairs, and did the dishes so Annie wouldn't have to do it in the morning. It was quiet out here, a lot more quiet than out in the city. I decided to pour myself a mug of hot chocolate and go sit on the porch for awhile.

The swing drifted slowly back in forth as I sat. The stars were bright here, and I knew that one of these days I would have to go to the beach and just listen to the waves and watch the stars. I heard the soft patter of the rain and closed my eyes.

"Ah, I thought I heard you come out here." I looked up to see Kyle closing the front door behind him. "Insomniac?"

"Maybe a little." I smiled, moving over so I wasn't in the middle of the porch swing. "Did you want any hot chocolate?"

"No, that's alright." He sat down beside me. "I'm not the biggest fan of sweets."

"How on earth did you get Annie?" He laughed and shook his head, resting his forearms on his knees.

"By giving her all of my portion. Do you mind if I smoke?"

"No, go ahead." I stared at the marshmallows as they melted in my mug as he lit up.

"I want to say I don't know you very well, but Annie painted a pretty good picture. So far, you've met all my expectations."

"I aim to exceed most expectations, but I suppose it's still the first day." A wolf howled in the background, and I turned my head to look into the woods, but Kyle seemed unperturbed.

"What are you doing for a living now?"

"Writing." I responded. "I have a publisher that I just email the finished product to, and we deal with it from there."

"That's why you're out here for awhile?" I nodded. In all honestly, my parent's home was too hard to keep. My mother was refusing to go back, and it all had been handed over to me. I sold most of their stuff and their house, the only thing I kept were my dads favorite baseball cap, his wedding band, and all the photo albums. My mom had picked what she wanted beforehand.

"That's alright with you? I know it was sudden." The house had sold faster than I expected, my bank account jumped higher than I'd ever seen it. I hadn't told Annie I had nowhere to go, just that I wanted to come down for an extended vacation.

"Of course. You're pretty much Annie's sister."

"We are sisters." I corrected, gently. "Maybe not in the conventional sense. But we're the only sister either of us had."

"She says that too." We were quiet again, just the wolves howling in the distance and the odd creak of the swing. He broke the silence, "I'm glad you came down. It's all she talks about."

"I'm glad I came down too. 5 years is too long." He nodded in agreement before brushing off his pants and standing up.

"I should probably try and get to sleep. Gotta wake up with the women who wakes up with the sun." He paused when he got to the front door. "Come by the shop tomorrow. I'll introduce you to the guys, maybe one of them can show you around if it's not busy."

"Thanks. Goodnight."

"Night." I listened to the click of the door as it shut. Swirling my now cold chocolate drink, I watched the silent road ahead with blurry eyes. Annie was my home, and I couldn't imagine being anywhere else, but how long could I really stay? How long could I lie to her before she found out – rather, figured out – that I didn't actually have any place to return to?

"I really messed up this time." I whispered, letting the dark take my voice and carry it somewhere safe. My limbs felt heavy, but I wasn't tired. All I wanted to do was remember this moment, this moment on a porch swing with the dark forest ahead of me. A wolf howled again, this time much closer, and I jumped. In the process, my mug hit the ground and bounced into the grass. Cursing my luck, more due to the dark than to the rain and wet grass, I peeled off my socks and slowly stepped onto the lawn. Immediately, I felt a chill spread up through the bottom of my feet, but knelt down to pick up the mug. That's when the atmosphere changed. When I felt a different kind of chill than the ones my feet felt run down my spine. I slowly looked up and around, but saw nothing. The hairs on my body stood up, but my curiosity prevented me from running into the house. Still, I couldn't see anything. I straightened my back and turned back towards the house. A breath shot across my neck, and I whipped around to find nothing behind me.

Maybe I would have to read that book of legends after all.


	2. Activity As Tolerated

I woke up to Annie jumping on my bed, her hands hitting me in the stomach as I tried to push her away.

"It's seven o'clock!" She squealed as I finally made contact and she tumbled off the bed, "time to get up!"

"Time to sleep more." I stated, sitting up and squinting at the very wide open window. The rain from the night before had disappeared, and sun shot through like rays of yellow death. "Goddamn girl."

"I've been waiting two hours to wake you up."

"You've been up since five? What happened to Afternoon Annie?" Her parents and I had dubbed her that from high school. She was the stereotypical sleepy girl, took naps in classes and her hobby in the yearbook said 'napping in the sun'.

"I got my second wind sometime after twenty." She smirked. "Besides, this is payback for all the times you woke me up all those times."

"Oh, good to know how the rest of my mornings will go." I stretched my arms as Annie sat on the side of the bed and handed me a brush.

"You need anything, it's in the bathroom attached to my room. Just go in and grab whatever. What do you want for breakfast?"

"Coffee" I didn't even attempt to use the brush she handed me, my mop of hair needed a shower and comb before anything could get through it.

"Food?" I shook my head and she rolled her eyes "Scrambled eggs and toast it is. I'll see you downstairs in twenty." I could almost see her skipping as she left my room. Stumbling into the bathroom, I yawned in the shower as I washed my hair and started to think about the night before. I'd stayed up searching through that book, but nothing mentioned what I was thinking of.

Once back in my room, I tore apart my bag to find an outfit. "Annie?" I yelled.

"Yeah." Her house could carry someone's voice like no one's business.

"What should I wear?"

"Fall outfit! Cute though, lots of boys to see today." I swear, there was a small emoticon heart at the end of that sentence. My hands stilled at my jeans and I remembered what Kyle had mentioned the night before. Oh, they were sneaky if they were trying to set me up.

"That'll do." Annie said as I walked into the kitchen, my hair haphazard and still dripping.

"What's wrong with it?" Annie crinkled her nose.

"You look really city."

"Well, I am city." I sat down and smelled the coffee she put in front of me. "Cream and sugar please. God I love this smell."

"So, I'm thinking we go down to the shop, and then we can go to the beach. Kyle and I were thinking of going for a hike on his next day off that it's not raining."

"Is the hiking here any good?"

"Oh, it's gorgeous. I think it'll help spark that writer's block of yours. Now c'mon, we got people to see!"

The shop had room for 3 cars, with a huge high fence secured lot beside it. The building was made of old brick, and reminded me of a fire station. Inside, there were about 3 employees working on the two cars pulled in, all tan big guys like Kyle. The shop was tidy, with only patches of oil stains here and there. Across the top of a building was a huge sign that said 'White and Black'.

"Why not Black and White?" I asked as I pulled on the handle of my door.

"Oh please don't start that fight." Annie grinned. "Let's just say Jacob lost the bet."

"Ah, so that's Kyle's flaw. A gambling problem."

"As long as he wins, I have no issues." Annie flew into the bay without pausing, and all of the boys stopped to wipe their hands on paper towels as she flew in to throw her arms around her husband's neck. He held both of his hands in the air as she kissed him.

"Hey, you yelled at me last time I got grease on your shirt." He said when she pulled away.

"But look at how well trained you are now!" She kissed him on the cheek and motioned me over. I'd stopped just outside the bay doors and slowly sauntered in. The smells were giving me nostalgia. My dad had worked in a mechanics shop part-time when I was young, far before he'd found his 'calling'. The owner let him bring me to work when they couldn't afford a babysitter and my mom was off doing what she did. I could remember his hands, the grease stained black in the creases of his fingernails as he pointed out the pieces under the hood to me.

" _Maybe you'll grow up to be a mechanic someday." He grinned, reaching in to tighten something._

" _But daddy! I wanna drive them not fix them."_

" _Ah, you're gonna be a lead foot just like me. I suppose that's okay too."_

" _What's a lead foot?"_

I could still hear his laugh and see the smile on his face. Annie snapped me out of my reverie as she started to introduce me.

"This guy here is Jacob. The black of 'White and Black'." I shook his hand and smiled.

"I'm Neveah, the backwards heaven of 'hell and heaven''." My response was as bad as I thought it sounded, but the boys erupted into laughter anyway. Although, I could've sworn one or two had a tone of pity to it.

"This is Quil."

"Hello." We shook hands as well, "I suppose my scent of the day will be grease."

"Hey, at least you don't have to smell these two all day." Kyle pushed one of the guys and went to step behind Annie, but she'd already stepped behind me.

"Where's Embry?" Annie asked.

"He had some problems with his other job he had to deal with." Jacob stated, "Although we could've used him here."

"What are you two up to today?"

"Probably just a walk along the beach." Annie shrugged, "keeping it simple."

"My addiction is starting to cause withdrawals, so I'm gonna need some more coffee soon. Is there a Starbucks around here?" I knew the boys laughter at my other joke must have been somewhat forced, because they howled in laughter now.

"Naw." Quil was having trouble keeping his smile down. "But 'Caffeine Beans' is just down the road from here."

"Oh! Claire will be in today, won't she?"

"She's there every day." Jacob stated. "She just doesn't wanna unlock the doors just for you at 430 am"

"Oh, ha-ha. So funny." Annie actually stuck her tongue out at him. "Okay! Coffee and then the beach!"

"It was nice meeting you!" I said as she grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the car.

"See you around!" A chorus rang from the bays despite how they were out of sight. Annie opened the door and grabbed her purse.

"It isn't far, we can just walk."

"Oh my god, who even are you?" My hand flew to my mouth in mock shock. Although truthfully, Annie had been the sleepy girl who also preferred the convenience of close parking spots. Annie puffed out her cheeks and started to walk away as I followed behind her.

"This coffee shop any good?" I asked.

"Well, it's no starbies." Her side glance was mischievous. "But yes. And truthfully, I'd say its better." We spent the ten minute walk to the shop talking about the boys at the shop. Annie attempted to prod me, but I wouldn't take her bait until the end.

"Okay fine, they are all rather attractive."

"Well, I have dibs on one." A voice behind me caused me to turn and I blinked at the girl before me. Gorgeous. I didn't have any other words.

"This is Claire. Quil's partner in crime."

"Ahem. Girlfriend. I want a ring before I'm completely thrown into that traffic accident." I tried to hide my wince, which thankfully neither of them noticed. She held her hand out to me. "And you are?"

"Neveah." I said, shaking her hand. "Caffeinate me, Doc." Her smile was infectious.

"I'll give you the best caffeine high of your life. And you can thank me for the best nap ever after."

 _A couple hours later_.

The beach was freezing, and I hugged my coffee cup to my chest to try and warm me up. Annie was standing at the water's edge as I stayed back in the hope maybe the breeze was less freezing here.

"See there." Annie pointed at a rock cliff jutting out of the landscape.

"Yeah."

"The guys jump off that."

"See, I knew all the cute ones were crazy." Annie grinned and shrugged.

"They haven't died yet. I won't do it. You have to jump out far enough so you don't hit the rocks and I don't like to risk my face like that." It was quite high up, and I shuddered to think of how cold that water was if the breeze was this bad.

"Ready to go back?" Annie questioned and I nodded as she grabbed my hand to steer me away. I felt the gaze I'd felt before on my back and turned to the cliff again. Although I couldn't see anything, the shudder up my back was unnatural. The smell of the air changed in that moment too, and I could've sworn the breeze died down a second before it hit the tissues of my heart harder. I let Annie pull me out of sight before I could decide what was happening.

"We gotta stop at the grocery store. I told Kyle I was making chili for lunch, so we may have quite the group assembling." I couldn't get the feeling out of my head, and all I could do was nod as Annie drove us to the nearest store.

We hadn't been home long when there was a knock at the door.

"Oh, hey guys." I looked at the four of them standing on the porch, all with ridiculous smiles on their faces.

"We heard this rumor, about… chili?"

"Chili?" I commented.

"We can smell it already." One of the guys I hadn't met crossed his arms, "C'mon you have to share. Annie makes the best."

"Oh, is this why she has such a giant pot?" I could hear Annie affirm my statement from the kitchen as the boys pushed past me to take up most of the shoe room. They all sniffed the air and swiftly strode into the kitchen.

"Oh, this one here is Colin." Jacob patted his shoulder, "And that one-"he pointed to the guy standing by Annie, "that's Seth."

"Did you put sausage?" Seth commented, glancing over Annie's shoulder.

"No, it's vegetarian." And, once again in unison, all the boys stilled for a moment before groaning loudly with chorus of 'Annie, that's not funny' and 'don't scare us like that'. Jacob and Seth took a seat at the kitchen table, while Colin took up leaning against the fridge to ask Annie about where to take this girl he liked on a date. "Oh shoot." Annie turned to me. "I forgot the groceries in the car, can you go get them?"

"Yeah, sure, why not." I didn't think I'd be outside for long so I tucked my laces into my shoes instead of tying them and quickly walked to the back of my car. The street was so quiet, I could hear the whistle of the wind. Thankfully, there was only one bag of groceries, so I pulled the bag out without really looking. Of course, just to spite me since the cashier had asked if I wanted it double-bagged, the contents spilled over the ground. One of the cans hit my foot and I winced for a second before leaning down to grab it, only to see another hand reach it first.

It wasn't electricity. It wasn't fire. It was a warm shower. It was as if I'd never been colder, and the touch of my fingertips against this hand moved my soul in a way I wish I knew how to describe. I didn't stop breathing; time didn't pause.

"Okay butterfingers, let me help you." The voice sent flooding through my stomach to my toes, and I was afraid to look up. My heart was melting, the muscles unable to ignore this presence. "You must be Neveah." I finally turned to meet his gaze, the dark eyes that shrouded me in goosebumps. I could see the pupils dilate, his eyes widen, and the slackness in his jaw. I felt the tingle through all my nerves when he looked at me.

"You must be Embry." I said, surprised at the strength in my voice. His staring kept on, but I felt comforted by it, because I couldn't stop staring at him either. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Good things?" He didn't get off so easy, his voice deeper and more husky than before.

"Well, only some things." He finally looked away to pick up more of the groceries. The spell having passed momentarily, I grabbed a cloth bag out of the trunk and let him place the ingredients inside. "We should go inside."

"Right." He said, not sounding all that sure. I turned heel and rushed inside. Unusual, strange, unorthodox, I could come up with a million words to describe what had just happened. Every time I tried, my brain would counter it. When I thought 'stupid', my brain corrected it to 'smitten'.

"Embry's here!" I yelled when I got inside, sounding awfully more anxious than excited. Jacob peeked his head around the corner, opening his mouth to speak only to take a glance over my shoulder.

"Oh man." Jacob started laughing. "This is perfect."

"Yeah, fucking perfect." I heard Embry mutter. When I turned to look at him, his hands were in his pockets and he was boring a hole into my back.

"Guys come here!" Jacob howled. Seth was there in an instant.

"What a handful." He shook his head. "C'mon, there's food." Embry stepped around me and followed Seth into the kitchen. I stayed in the same spot for a moment.

"Need a cold shower?" I jumped, forgetting Jacob was there. His smirk was wide.

"No."

"You sure? I can run interference."

"I don't need interference, you cheeky little bastard."

"Don't bring me into this. You're the one who checked him out when he walked by. I'm just an innocent by standing observer."

"Gimme a break." I muttered as he followed me into the kitchen. Two days and I already had trouble. I could feel the nap Claire had promised me pushing at my eyelids. At least I had an excuse if I needed it.


	3. Scatter The Pieces

**Note: Edits have been made to past chapters of any relation to the setting being La Push, if any confusion occurs**.

Embry had taken Jacob's seat at the table, and I tried not to look at him when I passed to hand Annie the groceries. Her smile would have rivalled that of the Cheshire Cat, and I closed my eyes to hide myself from it.

"Annie. Hand me the coffee please." The plan in her head whirled through her eyes like the way the water ripples after a rock is thrown into it. Her arm reached up to grab the coffee and then fumbled it just as she pried the lid off. I swear, it was almost slow motion as the canister hit the ground and coffee grounds sprayed everywhere.

"Oh no." She said slowly. "What a catastrophe?"

"How could you do that!" I said, jumping to pick up the canister off the ground. "Okay, no need to panic. There's still some left in here."

"Oh good." Annie said, grabbing the can from me. "Let me just – oh no, not again." She flipped the can in the air, this time I was almost sure it was on purpose, and the rest of the grounds flew onto the floor.

"Why are you doing this to me?" My voice was quiet. Annie moved to grab the broom and sweep up the grounds as the chili kept filling the room with a peppery scent. "I'm serious."

"I'm just so clumsy sometimes." Annie stated, not looking me in the eye. "I'm sorry, Nev. Why don't you go get some more?"

"Yeah, because from the one day we've spent here, I've mapped out this town and know where everything is." Ah yes, that was the caffeine withdrawals kicking in.

"Embry can help! Right, Embry?" And the plan is revealed. Embry was staring blankly at Annie for a second before his eyes shifted to me. My breath caught in my throat and the muscles in my lower stomach clenched. It was at that moment I realized the boys had been watching the exchange quietly, between Annie and I, with perplexed smiles. As soon as Annie shot her question to the attention of Embry, the boys must've also realized her plan.

"Yeah, buddy, Claire would love to finally see you since it's been a month." Embry stared at Jake as he patted him on the shoulder.

"It's not my fault her schedule happens to fall opposite of mine." Embry ran his fingers through his hair. It was longer than the others kept theirs. Kyle was the smallest of all of them, so these guys nearly took up the whole kitchen with their broad shoulders and vertical stature.

"Well, she's mentioned to Quil a few times that she forgot how many scones you eat, so they've been going to waste at the café."

"Okay, okay." He turned back to me as I waited patiently for his answer. I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about being alone with him, considering my reaction the first time, but if coffee was involved I'm sure I could handle it. "Let's do it. You up for it, Neveah?"

"Piggyback me?" I was trying to figure out how to react to him saying my name. "You know, I did already walk around all day." Embry's face was carefully neutral, but the rest of the boys chuckled.

"Alright, I can handle that."

"Oh, I was just kidding, but okay!" My nerves were on fire as he stood up. Annie turned back to her chilli, but I could sense the satisfaction rolling off of her.

"When I come back," I whispered to her, so that the boys couldn't hear me. "You're explaining all of this to me." She winked at me and I huffed before I turned to Embry, who was waiting at the entrance to the kitchen.

Once we stepped around the corner to the front door, the atmosphere seemed to change. I slipped on my shoes and a light jacket before turning to him. His shoes were big work boots, I assumed the same kind he worked with at the shop, with fitted boot cut jeans and a simple grey T-shirt. Very cliché if you asked me.

"No jacket?" I asked. The weather could've been colder, but it still warranted some sort of outerwear.

"I run warm." He smiled. "Jump on?" The image in my head was drastically different of jumping onto his back, which is what I knew he meant. He stooped, and I felt my face flush.

"Am I gonna hurt you, if I actually jump?"

"Naw, just get comfortable." So I jumped high enough to throw my legs around his waist. He didn't make a sound as I did, and quickly grabbed my thighs to hold in place. He did run warm, I wondered if I needed a coat even. Without any effort, surprising to me, he stood up and opened the door, closing it behind him before we headed out. It was silent as we walked, but it thankfully had gone from an awkward tense silence to a comfortable one.

"How far is it?" I asked, unsure how long I could stand to be this close to his body. He was comfortable, and I would daresay I could take a nap just like this, but I also couldn't keep other, more horizontal, images out of my head.

"We're only going to my place." He responded, "If we walk to Caffeinated Beans we'll miss all the chili. So I'll drive us from there. And it's not much farther."

"Hungry?" I asked, placing my chin on his shoulder.

"Always." He responded. "I came over for the chili you know. Then got roped into some sort of enabling for a coffee addict."

"Woah, I can stop whenever I feel like okay." I smiled into the fabric on his shoulder. This was what I wanted. Just a nice walk with a nice guy, and I didn't have to do any of the work. The coffee pot of gold at the end was nice too. "Oh no." I squirmed a bit, but didn't get very far as he held me a little tighter. "I forgot my wallet."

"I got it." Embry said, picking up his pace again. "Really, Claire might even just give it up for free since she's missed me so much." I remembered Claire in my head. Quil looked a lot younger than her, and although I was never one for ageism, the gap was odd. Claire looked in her mid-late 30's, although definitely still pulling off the young look, and Quil seemed more around Annie and I's age. All the boys seemed young.

"How old are you?" the question was sudden, and I felt him tense for a moment before he responded.

"How old do you think I am?"

"Well, that's not fair." I said. "Okay, older than twenty."

"Now that's not fair." He pointed out, his body vibrating as he laughed a bit. "Okay, I'm 26."

"That makes sense." I nodded, yawning as I did. "I'm starting to go into withdrawals here, slowpoke."

"Why the age question?" He asked, picking up his pace slightly.

"Just, curiosity." Was it rude to ask about his friend's relationship? I wasn't ready to get on his bad side quite yet. At that moment he turned into the driveway and set me down.

"Here it is. La maison d'Embry. I'll give you the tour of the inside of the house next time."

"Ah, too messy to share?" I heard him mumble under his breath as I hoisted myself into the passenger seat of his car and he shut the door behind me. I watched as he made his way around the back of the truck in the side mirrors. His face was troubled, and he was nervously rubbing his forehead as he opened the driver's door. Did I make him nervous? Or was he annoyed that he had to spend time with me? When Embry got into the truck, he took up most of the space and I couldn't' help but take in the smell of him I hadn't noticed before.

The inside of the café was near empty. A few people were scattered here and there, sipping lattes as their eyes scanned the laptop screens in front of them. Claire smiled from behind the counter, and Embry and I placed our orders. I looked for a seat as he paid and talked with Claire.

"Shouldn't we head back?" I asked, sipping at the mocha he handed me once he joined me.

"I'm sure Annie will save some for us.' Embry grinned over his drink, which looked like either an americano or a black coffee from the darkness of it.

"Right. So," I put down the mug and narrowed my eyes at him. "You from around here?"

"Actually no. Almost none of us are."

"Oh, so, all of you guys moved here?" Embry was still for a moment, and I saw the debate in his head as he struggled to find the words to answer.

"Yeah, we did." His voice was strained and he took another drink of coffee before he put his mug down beside mine. "We had to leave for a lot of reasons."

"Seems odd for a group of friends to move together. What were the reasons?"

"Well, we had friends and family to protect."

"So you left?" I didn't mean to sound as judgmental as I did, because I had done the same thing. My mom was feeding off of my anger, and my sadness, and it drove her to a point I didn't know she could return from. The psychiatrist noticed the relationship between us, and I'd disagreed with his recommendation to leave until the last encounter I'd had with my mother.

"It was the right thing to do." Embry broke me out of my reverie, but he was looking out the window and not at me. "A lot of people got hurt, and we lost some good friends. This place was so similar to home that we thought it best to try and live here."

"So, all of you moved."

"We all moved." Embry nodded. "And the people there are safe now."

"Do you miss them?" I thought of my dad.

"Always, but we keep in touch. At least, with the ones who are still... breathing." His tone was flat when he said the latter. In that moment, I watched the world weigh on his shoulders. I watched his eyes flicker with sadness. My hands felt clammy in my lap, and I intertwined my fingers to stop them from shaking. Death was troubling. Death was final. The pain of losing someone close to you was too much to explain to someone who hadn't experienced it.

"My dad died almost two years ago." I didn't know how to say I understood. I didn't understand why my heart ached for Embry. "An impaired driver hit his car on the way to work one morning." Although I could feel Embry watching me now, I only stared at the slow swirl of my latte.

"I'm sorry."

"He didn't die on impact." The babbling was too much to stop now. The guts I couldn't let loose in Annie's kitchen were falling out of me. "The doctor tried to tell me the information without hurting me, but I knew he had suffered. My mom doesn't know. I didn't tell her." We were silent.

"Your mom is still alive?" Embry was prodding gently. A lot gentler than I had been when he told me his secret.

"Barely." My brain flashed to that night in the living room, when she manipulated me into buying her alcohol so she wouldn't drive. "So I left too."

"Then we're both misguided runaways." Embry's gaze was warm when I looked at him.

"I'm sorry, I don't know how or when to stop." My breath hitched, because I'd let a stranger know a secret I hadn't even told my best friend.

"Are you hungry?" I nodded, and Embry stood up to grab some to go cups. The pity I expected to see wasn't there. Maybe it was mutually assured destruction, in a way. Embry extended his hand to me and helped me out of my chair. His hand pressed lightly against the small of my back as he steered me towards the front door. It was comforting. I felt myself reach out mentally for the warmth he was exuding, the warmth that wasn't only physical. The thank you was on my lips, ready to say but as I took my seat in the truck, he leaned over to whisper gently.

"Thank you." And I didn't know how to respond.

Back at Annie's, the boys were still there. Embry joined them in the living room and I opted to help Annie with some of the dishes that were piling up.

"How was it?" She asked, her long hair tied back into a neat bun.

"It was, uh, it was really good."

"He's great, hey?"

"Yeah, really great." Annie was pressing, but she could tell something was happening, because I expected some light hearted joking when there was none. The yawn rolled through my shoulders and Annie shooed me away, insisting I nap. I was grateful for the escape, and fell onto my bed fully clothed, sleep enveloping me before I could make another movement.


	4. Knowing You Knowing Me

It was late in the evening when I woke up, mostly to the sound of shushing in the hallway.

"Neveah is sleeping, do you really want to explain this to her?" Kyle's voice was urgent, and I tried to blink the sleep out of my eyes, but felt my eyelids fade over my vision again.

"Why don't you explain it to me first, Kyle?" Annie was mad, I could tell because she drew out his name, a move her mother had done all the time to her when she was a teenager. I tried to stay awake, to listen to the fight I'm sure would provide some useful information, but I'd already committed to sleep before I could think anything else.

It was almost a week later when I saw either of the two of them again. Annie had left notes for me on the kitchen counter, stating that she was busy and didn't want to be bothered. Kyle didn't leave notes, but he hadn't been around at all.

"Where's that husband of yours?" I asked the brooding Annie as she stared at her coffee. I'd mostly said it out of shock, since I hadn't seen her in the kitchen for so long. She looked paler, almost worried, and I could see the tense rise of her shoulders.

"Busy, shops been really busy."

"What, do people put their winter tires on four months early here?" Annie didn't smile, laugh, or look up at my joke. I took a seat across from her with my own cup of coffee and waited in silence for a few minutes before I spoke up again.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just have to get to work. I'm fine really.

"You just seem-"

"You don't have to fill every silence with talking, you know." Annie interrupted me, her tone irritated and her shoulders tense. If she had been a cat, I'm sure she'd be hissing.

"Okay." I resigned myself to it.

"It's married stuff. You wouldn't get it."

"Right." I winced. Annie took another minute to down her coffee and place it in the sink before she took off without a word. I didn't watch her go or try to follow her. Instead, I busied myself with rinsing the dishes to put in the dishwasher, trying to forget about the confrontation.

The next few days, I didn't see any of Mr. and Mrs. White. Kyle was nowhere to be found and Annie locked herself into the office most days.

So, I spent my non-busy days in front of the TV, or down at Caffeine Beans, which _was_ the only coffee shop in town. Today happened to be another one of those days where I trudged my way down the road to see Claire. With laptop in hand, I slapped on a pair of rubber boots and picked up an umbrella before heading out the door. It was raining, something Kyle had absently mentioned was similar to back home.

The road was quiet, as usual, so I spent my time jumping from puddle to puddle, my small bag flopping against my back with every move. It wasn't too long before I reached the doorstep of the café.

"What is this, ten days in a row now?" Claire mocked from behind the counter, already steaming the milk for my mocha.

"It's been seven, but I appreciate the rounding."

"Well, I appreciate the company." Claire laughed. "As you can see, the rain impedes my customer base."

"Rain, keeping people at home? This place is a lot different from the city." I took up my usual seat at the little bar in front of the espresso machine. Claire came around to hand me my mocha and take a seat with her own coffee beside me.

"Been up to anything crazy?" She asked, absentmindedly stirring her coffee.

"Unless you count binge-watching all my favorite shows and attempting to learn how to play Sudoku, then no."

"Annie hasn't been keeping you amused yet?"

"No." I sighed. "She keeps saying she's busy. And that she'll have more time next week or something."

"Yeah, it's been tough for her to not have Kyle around hey?" I glanced at her out of the corner of her eye, and saw a flash of familiarity on her face.

"Do you know? What's going on with him?" Claire narrowed her eyes, a look I'd learned was her way of thinking before she answered.

"Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"It's really not for me to say."

"That sounds familiar." I mused aloud, "You think I'll ever get to be in on the secret?" Claire smiled and opened her mouth to say something when the door opened and she bounced up.

"Just me, Éclair. Go back to lazing around." Embry came in with a tilted smile on his lips. Claire let her mouth hang open for a few seconds before plopping back down on the stool beside me.

"I'm not lazing around, I'm building a relationship with my best customer."

"I'm real hard to get along with, you know." I offered the information easily, as Embry took a seat on the stool beside me.

"Could I get some service here?" His playful facial expression betrayed his tone, and Claire begrudging got up to make him his order, muttering something about 'teach an old dog new tricks'.

"How long were you outside? Your hair's soaked." It dripped onto the counter as he leaned forwards onto his arms. He shook his head to wave off some of the water and I quickly moved to cover the top of my drink.

"You know how protective I am of this stuff." I pushed his arm with both hands. To his credit, he pretended as though it jostled him when I know it hadn't.

"Here's your coffee, and a towel." Claire handed Embry both from the other side of the counter. "I'm gonna do some cleanup in the back. If someone comes in and I don't hear it, yell at me okay?"

"My favorite thing!" I responded.

"Yelling or cleaning?"

"Really?" I gave her my best disappointed face as I shook my head. As she left, Embry used the towel to try and dry the strands of his hair.

"If you're gonna roll around in the rain, you might as well just go bald." I casually mentioned.

"It's a bit of a point of pride." Embry responded, reaching to grab a cream container that Claire had left on the counter. "Would you cut your hair for convenience?"

"Would YOU want me to cut my hair for convenience?" I raised an eyebrow at him. His response was to look at my hair, and the hot feel of his gaze caused my cheeks to heat up. He reached out a hand to grab a strand of hair and twist it around his finger.

"No, I like yours longer like this." He stared at the strand for a second before letting go to pick up his own coffee mug.

"You doing anything today?" I tried to fill the silence with something innocent, so that maybe his eyes wouldn't leave me so hot.

"Nothing important."

"Wanna hang out with me?"

"It depends." He downed the rest of his coffee, even though I'm positive it was still incredibly hot, and continued. "What do you plan to do to amuse me?"

"That's a dangerous question, Mr. Call." I shock put my hand over my heart. "Are you trying to seduce little innocent me?"

"Do you think this is seducing? Is this how the city boys do it?" Embry had a sharp retort, and I gaped at him, I'm sure a similar look to that of a fish and then huffed.

"Show me your place!"

"My place?" He stilled.

"You promised me a tour."

"My place, uh, is pretty messy." His body was tense.

"So? A little mess never killed anybody."

"How about a walk instead?" I looked over my shoulder to the window at the pouring rain outside and then back at him.

"It's pouring out. Let's just watch a movie or something."

"I just, you know, it's not that I don't…" Embry stumbled over the beginning of multiple different sentences before turning his head slightly to the roof and shutting his eyes.

"I won't mess it up, I promise."

"Fine. You win." He said, standing up as I followed. The rain wasn't coming down much harder than it had earlier. I opted not to use the umbrella and instead thrust it into Embry's arms so I could jump into the first big puddle I saw in the parking lot.

"C'mon, it's fun!" I exclaimed as I splashed into another one.

"So, it's raining too much to go for a walk, but not enough to deter you from jumping in puddles?"

"Puddle jumping on a short walk is a totally different experience than walking in the rain during a long walk." Embry shook his head at me.

"Get in." The ride was a little quieter, but peaceful. We happened to drive by White and Black, which was currently empty and closed.

"Shops not open?"

"Naw, it's been slow."

"Slow?" I asked, turning to watch it disappear out of sight.

"Uh, I meant busy." Embry looked nervous now.

"Busy. That's why it's closed?" I pushed, I wanted information so badly I was willing to push for it.

"Ah. I don't have an answer." He admitted, "I was told it was busy so that's why they were closed."

"Or." I offered, "You know what this secret is that Mr. And Mrs. White have been hiding from me and don't want to tell me."

"If we're gonna play like that, it's not that I don't want to tell you, but loyalty is just about as important as honesty." I didn't ask anything else after that. Clearly, I wasn't to know what was happening, and pushing him wasn't going to get me anything I wanted. Once we got inside his house, I noticed the temperature appeared to reflect the outside.

"Don't turn your heaters on when you aren't home?" I asked, hugging my jacket closer. He turned to look at the thermostat to adjust it.

"I don't notice the temperature much." He shrugged. "Want anything to drink?"

"Water would be amazing. And then a tour!" Embry did his best to not roll his eyes, instead choosing to close them and shake his head before motioning me to follow. The kitchen was small, but the island in the middle, a few stools lined up on one side, caught my attention. As I took a seat, Embry handed me a glass of water and leaned over the counter across from me.

"I have something for you." He said, cautiously watching me as I took an extra longer sip of water.

"Oh?" I asked, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. He opened the drawer in front of him and pressed something cool and hard into my hand.

"I know you aren't from around here. And staying with Annie and Kyle is good. But if you ever need to get away, then you can come here. There's a spare bedroom upstairs. I'm rarely home enough for it to matter." He pulled his hand away so that I could stare at the key lying in my palm.

"Embry, you've known me a week."

"No, I met you a week ago. I've known you for years." At my puzzled, and slightly alarmed, expression, he continued. "Annie has never stopped talking about you. Kyle and I and the rest of the boys have been as close as brothers for as long as they've been together. I know you. You just don't know me." Embry turned to do the dishes, and I saw the tense rise of his shoulders. My gut didn't roll. I didn't feel scared or intimidated or freaked out. This was safety. This is what it meant to have someone watch out for you.

"Thank you." I finally said. I saw his shoulders fall slightly, to my relief.

"Neveah. If you need anything. I'm a phone call or a knock away."

"I bet you say that to all the girls." I tried to steer away from this conversation, because neither of us wanted to say it, and both of us knew it was too soon. I could tell from the stolen glances, the gentle brushes. He felt this strange pull for me that I felt for him.

"If that is what you want to believe." He turned to me, his eyes fiery. My body heated up. My eyes felt like they got wider, my hair felt like it was standing on end. My hands shook as I placed his key onto my keychain and quickly shoved it into my pocket. This wasn't fear, but it also wasn't comfort. This was standing on the line between the unknown and the known.

"Movie?" I coughed.

"I may have jumped the gun on that one." Embry swept his hand through his hair and sighed. "I have to work in about an hour. I'll take you home." The ride back was filled with jokes. We went back to the comfortable way of talking we had developed, without the looks and the fire.

"Thanks for today and the key." I said, as I reached for the door of the vehicle once we'd stopped in the driveway. My movement was halted as he gently placed his hand on my upper arm, forcing me to turn to him.

"If you need it, use it. You never know."

"Right." I nodded, hopping out of the vehicle and into the house. I heard him pull away a few moments later and leaned against the door. My heart beat strongly against my chest as I tried to rub the feel of him off my arms. The excitement, the giddiness, was too much for me to handle.

"Neveah?" Annie's voice bounded from the living room. As I stalked my way over, praying my cheeks weren't the bright red I knew they must've been, the sound of an unmistakable Disney movie filled the house.

"Beauty and the Beast?" I asked, tilting my head. Annie was on the couch, in sweats and a T-shirt, with an oversized bowl of popcorn in her lap.

"How was your day?" She asked as I took a seat beside her and she paused the movie.

"It was, interesting" I questioned it myself, curious as to really what the day had started out with and then turned into.

"Interesting, as in you saw a dragon interesting or how the sun never shines here interesting?"

"Maybe somewhere in the middle?"

"I really don't have much more wit left for today." She was smiling at me, but I felt the impatience from the lines drawn into her forehead.

"Embry gave me a key to his house. Said if anything happened I could go there." Annie's smile fell, although I couldn't figure out why.

"That is kind of him."

"You don't think it's a little weird?"

"You know, I really don't." Her reply came after a few seconds of her staring into her popcorn bowl. "You should always have a Plan C."

"What was Plan B?" I asked.

"Not that's for you to figure out." She replied. It was cryptic, I knew, because we never made Plan B's. It was A or nothing. So Plan C meant that I should take it if I needed it, but only if there wasn't any other choice.

"On a different note," Annie cleared her throat. "I wanted to tell you about one of my favorite hikes around here."

"Because?"

"Because you can't lay on my couch all day." So I let her tell me directions and all about what she called the 'Mermaid Spring". After making me promise to go the next day, whether or not she could tag along, we finally settled in to watch her movie. Halfway through, I bowed out early to head to bed.

"Annie?" I asked, turning around before I left the room. She turned to me, a silent gesture to continue. "I love you."

"I love you too." For a moment her eyes softened, and I was reminded of why this girl was my best friend. Why her snappy comments never stuck, and why I couldn't imagine a life without her to invade my personal space in it. Once upstairs, the covers tossed around me, the moon shining brightly through the window, I heard a howl echo outside. There was a chorus that followed and I fell asleep to their song.


	5. Errors and Consequences

Annie was out by the time I woke up, a note on the table reminding me to not stay in the house all day, so I poured myself a cup of coffee before gathering my hiking supplies. The 'Mermaid Spring' wasn't far, maybe an hour out from the backyard. I made sure the house was locked up and my cellphone charged before trudging through the dripping forest. The bear bell I had tied around my ponytail jingled along to the rhythm of my footsteps

The walk was quiet. I could only hear the sounds of the birds and my own boots sloshing on the mud. Ever so often I'd turn around to look behind me, with the odd sense that something was watching me, but no one was ever there. Trying to push the feeling aside, I moved forward. This presence was different than the one I'd felt that first night in town. This one felt safer, felt more like a guardian or companion than a predator.

I reached the spring and figured out quickly why Annie liked it so much. The pool itself was deep, surrounded by huge rocks covered in moss. They were all flat enough to sit on, but looked as though they hadn't ever been. In the center was another rock, almost flush with the ponds surface. I wondered if this had been used for something important in the past. The grassy area around the pond was clear of twigs and rocks, unlike the rest of the forest, almost as though someone was keeping it tidy. The stumps around reminded me of seats and I could almost see the kind of people that would've been here.

The pool had to be at least ten feet by ten feet and the depth was too dark to tell. I chose a small flat rock that wasn't covered in moss, since I didn't want to disturb the area as Annie had suggested and rolled it in my hand slowly at the pools edge. I stared at my reflection in the water, wondering if there was any way to tell how deep it went. If I made an offering, another Annie suggestion, maybe good fortune would come my way. Holding it between my thumb and forefinger, I held it out in front of me.

"I don't know what I need yet." I whispered, "So I guess I'll just introduce myself. I'm Neveah Harlton." I slipped the rock into the water and watched it sink out of sight. While I did, my fingers still outstretched, the ring my father had given me slipped off as well.

"No, dammit." I muttered, trying to reach for it but already it had sunk too far. I exhaled a deep breath and brought my knees to my chest. I sat there for a few minutes, trying to think if it was somehow possible to get the ring, ignoring the fact I'd lost a piece of my father

My mind was filled with thoughts of magnets and string when my phone started to vibrate in my pocket. The screen flashed an unknown caller. "Hello?"

"Is this… Neveah… Harlton?"

"Uhm, yes, speaking."

"I'm calling from the Health Centre in regards to Annie White." I felt the anxiety creep into my lungs and the crushing of it made me lose my breath.

"Has- Did something happen?" Suddenly, a chill blanketed the previously warm area around the spring and I moved to throw my backpack over my shoulder.

"Yes, well, we've been trying to get ahold of her husband Kyle White and can't. She told us to call you to go get him."

"Oh, of course. Can I talk to her?"

"That's not really possible right now."

"Okay, uhm, I'll hurry over and get him to show up."

"That would be really great. Thank you Ms. Harlton." I was already crashing through the path before I hit the end call button. I must've got to the bottom within a half hour, with only a few trips and slips on the way down. Kyle would probably be at the shop, unable to hear the phone over the machines. It was understandable. That was what I tried to tell myself as the worry and panic turned to rage.

The shop wasn't busy, I was surprised it was even open with two cars inside, so I ran in and scanned for Kyle. Seth gave me an odd look and walked over with a towel.

"What's wrong?"

"Where's Kyle?" I must've looked crazed. My pants were coated in mud and I could feel a few leaves sticking to my sleeves.

"Right here." Kyle came around the side of the vehicle. "What's up?"

"The health center's been trying to call you. It's about Annie." He pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and cursed before running to the office, presumably to grab his keys. I followed.

"We can take my car, its running."

"You're not going."

"What do you mean I'm not going?" I could feel the burn exploding against the walls of my heart.

"Exactly as it sounds. You're not going." Kyle stared at me with icy eyes that I'd never seen on him before.

"She's my best friend. I should be there."

"No."

"Are you serious?"

"That's my wife. I get the final say." Kyle brushed past me, but I wasn't done. The anger had spilled into blindness.

"If she's so important, than why couldn't you even answer the phone?"

"Some of us work."

"Excuse me?" my voice was a screech.

"Going deaf as well as being a free loader?" My shock came out in sputters as I attempted to come up with a comeback. Kyle sneered at me as he turned away. In a second, I pushed at his back and although he didn't budge from my push, I'd never seen someone turn around so quickly. "Don't even think about it."

"Or what?" I was stepping over the line. He knew it. I knew it. Everyone in the shop knew it.

"Kyle." Jacob's voice was a warning, low and dangerous.

"You never liked me." I accused, staring into his face as if I could burn through it. "You're just jealous you could never be as close to her as I am. Why haven't you been coming home lately? Too afraid to face the fact that maybe she's far too good you?"

I felt his hands push my shoulders before I could open my mouth again. Someone was behind me, and I hit their chest so hard I cried out. Their arms flew around my waist as my adrenaline pushed me forward to knock him back.

"Stop, Neveah, cut it out." Seth's voice was calm in my ear, surprising considering the amount of struggling I was doing. I could feel the soreness in my shoulders where Kyle had pushed me, felt the ache when I raised my hand at him to start screaming.

"You asshole!" Seth was taking steps backwards, having lifted me off my feet as I lurched forward. I could make out Jacob now, pushing Kyle out of the shop, who was shaking, muscles bulging, his skin going redder by the second. I struggled a bit more before panting and slumping against Seth, his grip stone tight.

"Let me see." Jacob came back inside, pulling the jacket off of my shoulders. I looked at the skin there, finally feeling my adrenaline come down as I noted the huge red marks forming from my collarbones. "That's…"

"You just notice it more because I'm pale." I shivered, probably a coming down affect from the adrenaline. Seth pulled me closer to warm my body, I assumed.. "I need ice, not skin you could cook an egg on." Seth burst out laughing and shook his head, motioning to Colin to get the ice I'd requested.

"You weren't exactly fair." Jacob wasn't as calm as Seth, his fingers almost trembling as he reached out to turn me so he could look at my back.

"Just ice it." I said, my voice gentle now. "It'll prevent excessive bruising."

"Want a drive to the doc?" Jacob sent Seth a glare and muttered something under his breath, which Seth must've heard because he started laughing.

"How you gonna explain this?" Jacob asked me. I shot him a look of disbelief as I pulled the jacket around my shoulders again. Colin handed me the ice packs wrapped in a few cloths and I held them to the sore spots on my front to the best of my ability. Jacob must've taken my silence as enough of an answer because he disappeared into the office.

"And I should do?" Colin was looking terribly bored.

"Keep going on your work, short stuff." Seth commented, steering me towards my parked car. "As much as you can. I'm sure Jake is calling in reinforcements."

"Right." Colin sighed and picked up a nearby ratchet before heading under the hood again. Seth opened the passenger door and I silently accepted the offer. He was silent for a few moments as I huffed and stared out the window.

"In another situation," He began, "I would be on your side, but this has a whole new level to it that you just don't know yet."

"Why does it always come back to this? I'm twenty four, I'm not a child who has to be sheltered from whatever weird thing is going on between those two. If all you guys know, I should too." Hearing my own voice made me wince at the whining, but it didn't change how true it was.

"I agree with things this way." He cut me off as I opened my mouth to interrupt him "Look, why don't we go see my cousin. She's a doctor. It'll be cheaper than an actual hospital and probably faster. And she understands the situation."

"And the situation is?"

"In due time, young one." Seth ruffled my hair as I yanked my head from him and smacked the window. "Add headache to the list?" I scowled and rubbed my temple as he continued to drive.

"You know, I'm not an unreasonable person."

"Just impatient?" I gave him a look as he smiled at me. "Just, give it a little more time."

"A month is plenty of time."

"You've been here maybe two weeks."

"That's a month if you round up!" I couldn't help but smile as Seth shook his head at me. "Okay, I get it." The ride to his friend's house was short.

"Are you not mad?" Seth asked as he pulled into the driveway and killed the engine. I paused for a second, hesitating in my answer.

"It was the wrong place and the wrong time and -." I pulled the sleeve of my jacket down to survey the damage, noting the bruises now forming, as I'd thought they would, which is why I'd wanted the doctor. "There must be something else going on with me."

"You think so?"

"What other explanation is there?" Seth was quiet and stepped out of the car. My shoulders killed, I was grateful when Seth opened the car door for me. The ice packs were melting, sending trickles of water down my arms and soaking my jacket. Seth took them from me and helped me out.

"Is this cousin of yours a good doctor?" Seth nodded.

"She's the best."

"I had to ask." I said. A woman about my height answered the door.

"Hey, what's going on?" Her voice was hard, and from her eyes I could tell she was a 'no-nonsense' kind of doctor. It relaxed me, at least I felt like she'd tell me if this was horribly wrong.

"We had an altercation." Seth's hand rested on the small of my back as he steered me inside. "Shoulders and back."

"Right. With who?"

"Kyle."

"Ah, jacket off than Mrs.?"

"Ms. And Neveah." Her hands stilled when she took my sweater. After a moment, she turned sharply to glance over her shoulder at Seth.

"Pretty bad timing on Kyle's part no?" Seth shrugged and muttered something about making a sandwich as he left the room. The woman came over to me and visually inspected the bruising from all sides. She asked If they seemed more swollen and about my pain, prodded them gently.

"I don't think it's serious." She finally concluded. "But I'm going to ask you to come by my office in a day or so for a follow up, just in case you need to get a prescription and some blood tests." She handed me a business card with a day and time written on the back.

"Thanks, Dr-uh." I looked down at the card she'd handed me. "Dr. Clearwater."

"It's not a problem. I'm glad you stopped by. I'd recommend ice on the bruises."

"I was gonna take a bath for my back, it's a little sore." She nodded.

"That's fine. Rest and nothing too strenuous. How did you hurt your back?"

"Seth caught me after Kyle pushed me." I said dryly, wiping my hands nervously on my pants.

"Must be my abs of steel." Seth joked as he wandered back into the room, attempted to flex his biceps. The doctor rolled her eyes and stood up.

"Call me with any issues." Seth lead me out to the car and we spent the rest of the ride in silence.

"You don't have to come in." The house was dark, which meant neither Kyle nor Annie was home yet.

"I won't push." Seth said. "I was hoping for a nap anyway." I hesitated as I went to open the door and reached over to put my hand on Seth's knee, more because I don't think I could lift my arm enough to place it on his shoulder.

"Thanks for…. Everything you did today."

"It's all good." Seth himself had been opening the door to leave, and now settled back into his seat.

"No really." I pushed, squeezing a little tighter. "I was really out of line with Kyle. I was frustrated. And you kind of just played the part of Sweden instead of picking sides. It's just." I let out a breath. "I really, really appreciate it. You really are a good person."

"The best." Seth winked at me and placed his hand on top of mine to give it a squeeze. "You don't have to say anything else."

"You think he'll forgive me?" I asked, looking at my free hand resting in my lap. Kyle wasn't a bad person, and Annie had chosen right with him. It weighed on my mind to wonder if they would let me stay now.

"Kyle will be asking you for forgiveness." Seth reassured me and I closed my eyes at his statement. "He should know his limit far before you should know it."

"Right." I pulled my hand out of his and reached for the door. We both met at the trunk for a few moments. "Do you need a ride?"

"No, I'll walk. And hey, if he does kick you out." Seth chuckled. "Then you and I can just have an extended sleepover."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Trudging upstairs, I opened the door to the bathroom I'd been using and began to fill the tub with warm water. I'd gone into town and grabbed bath bombs, so I threw one of them in. I stripped off my muddy clothing and sunk into the water.

I'd never heard of Kyle coming even close to lashing out at someone the way he had at me. I wasn't blameless and I felt the consequences of my actions build in my chest. The territorial possession of Annie worried me, but he had always seemed so loving when things were about her. Maybe I was just jealous, no one had ever stood up for my privacy like that. To be honest, nobody had loved me the way that Kyle loved Annie. The looks, the 'surprise' breakfast every Sunday, and the letters he had written her when they first started dating. Annie could fill scrapbooks and scrapbooks of the kind things Kyle had done for her. Mine could be broken down to a page, or maybe a really small shoebox.

The water got cold faster than I would've liked, but I resigned myself to getting out once I saw the prune texture of my fingertips. The house was still quiet, the only sound the microwave humming as I heated up some of the leftover spaghetti. I didn't know if I wanted the other two to come home or not. I settled into the living room to watch a bit of TV. Soon, once the house was blanketed in shadows and my bed beckoned me, did I curl into it with my cellphone by my ear, just in case Annie called.

Although I'm not sure how much time had passed, Annie opening the door had me sitting up and blearily staring into the darkness. She walked over slowly and sat on the edge of the bed, staring at me.

"God, I'm glad you're okay." She whispered, hugging me so tightly. "Kyle barged into the center so angry over you and all I could think was the worst."

"Are you okay?" I yawned. "The center wouldn't tell me anything." Annie was still hugging me tightly, so I responded by allowing her the time she needed. It told me a lot of things. It told me she wasn't okay, but she was handling it. Unfortunately for me, it also told me she didn't want to talk about it.

"You have to do me a favor." She pulled back and held my shoulders.

"Could I maybe sleep first? I know you like to wake up early, but this seems early early."

"I need you to not ask why we're going to Claire's house." I blinked at her.

"Right now?"

"Right now." Annie nodded, and stood up. Throwing open my closet to put a few clothes in a bag.

"No." I stood up and grabbed my clothes out of the bag, moving to the closet to hang them again. "No, I'm not going."

"Neveah…" Annie was taking the clothes out again.

"I have had a rough day and I'm not going anywhere. I'm going back to bed."

"I'll owe you a favor. Anything."

"Like a wish from a genie?" I paused, staring at her with my eyes squinting. "You'll have to answer anything."

"If you want to ask me what's going on with Kyle, or what's going on with me, or anything, I will answer honestly."

"Or I can save it." I was holding hangers in one hand and clothes in the other, waiting for the answer.

"Or, you can save it. This isn't a 'do me a favor', this is an 'I'll owe you.'" The moment seemed to drag on, and in response I moved to the door and flipped on the switch.

"Let's do it." I turned and Annie clapped her hands together once, a gleeful look on her face, before it faded and the shock set in. It was probably that moment that I realized Kyle hadn't told her what had happened, and that the tank top I was wearing told the story for both of us.

"Oh my god, Neveah…." Her face went from surprise to worry as she took slow steps towards me, brushing the skin with gently fingers. The bruises had darkened, purple black areas that were tender to touch.

"It's okay, it wasn't-"

"It's not okay." Annie said, and I could her the tears in her voice. "This is so not okay." I could see the pain in her voice, how she felt it through her body. I could see the doubt, the realization that Kyle could do this to someone.

"Kyle is a good man." I didn't want this to change them. She was happy, I could see it on her face when I first got here. This was going to ruin it.

"And yet this happened." Annie was scowling, a face I never saw on her.

"C'mon. I have decided I'd like to save my genie wish for later." I let Annie pack my bags, and we settled into my car with Annie as navigator. We didn't ask any questions, just drove in silence and muddled thoughts.


	6. Feel Free To Lie

The drive was quiet as we both sat in a retrospective silence. Although I could tell from how Annie was constantly sighing that her thoughts were much more serious than mine. I didn't understand what was happening, and the answers seemed so far away that I didn't know if the fight was worth it.

"Put this on." Annie threw a jacket into my lap once we'd pulled into the driveway. The pullover was soft, so I didn't mind throwing it on. I knew it was to cover the bruises, but I wasn't sure why.

"Is this even necessary? They seem to all know."

"Not all." Annie corrected. "Quil and Embry don't know."

"They seem pretty calm to me. I don't think they would react."

"You haven't known him as long as me." Annie hadn't referred to both of them on purpose, but I chose not to respond as we both stepped out of the car and up to the front door. Annie reached up to knock on the door, but I grabbed her wrist and stopped her for a moment. In that brief second, her expression asked me to let it go. It happened the year I begged her not to leave after graduation. It was a look of desperation and she knew I couldn't resist it.

"Should I know anything?" I bit my tongue. I tried not to accuse. This was so out of my control that I didn't know what answer would even make it better.

"No." She took enough time to at least look as though she thought about it, so I let her go.

"Hey! How was the drive?" Claire answered the door, a tight smile on her lips as she sidestepped to let us pass.

"Good." Annie nodded as she kicked off her shoes. "No trouble." She didn't take another glance at me and headed upstairs. I got a brief glance of her grabbing Jacob and Embry, who were both standing in the kitchen after a small hall at the top of the staircase, before they disappeared from sight.

"Doing okay?" Claire asked me as she shut the door behind me.

"I guess." The stairs were soft under my bare feet as we headed upstairs. "Is this a new house?"

"Yeah, still has that new house smell hey?" Claire was trying to be normal, but the worry creased her voice. "There's a bedroom down the hall if you want to sleep."

"I'm awake now." I shrugged. "Coffee?"

"Yes, someone has started that for you." She motioned me into the kitchen and pointed where everything was as she took a seat at the table. There wasn't much to talk about as I prepped my coffee and turned to lean against the counter to face Claire. There wasn't much room to talk as Annie came back in, Quil following behind.

"You're okay?" Quil asked, leaning down to kiss her forehead. She closed her eyes and whispered something I couldn't hear. It reminded me of my parents. My dad kissed my mom on her forehead every time he came home, when we were all still a family. The exchange caused a flare of jealousy in my stomach so I turned to Annie, hoping for something to distract myself. When I looked to Annie and saw her and Kyle in a similar position, I grabbed my coffee cup and stalked down the hallway. One of the bedroom doors was open, but without much room on the end table from a lamp and alarm clock, I chose to sit on the floor at the end of the bed so I could place my cup on a flat surface. My head lolled back on the bed behind me, and I stared at the ceiling.

"What have I gotten myself into?" It must've been from being so tired. In that moment all I wanted was my dad. I wanted to imagine him only a call away. My family was gone. I'd come here searching for home, I'd realized that. Of all the things my dad had taught me, besides his health trends and how to cook a perfect poached egg, it was that home wasn't a place, but a person. He hadn't told me what to do when you didn't have that person.

The screen on my phone shone a bright light onto my face, as I opened the gallery with shaky fingers. I'd left a folder in here all with pictures of my dad when he'd first died. After my first experience of being at a party and drunkenly giggling while looking through my photos only to burst into tears when finding a selfie of my dad and I on a late night grocery shop, I'd put them all into a separate folder. I hadn't looked since then. Looking at his face reminded me of how much I'd forgotten what his face looked like.

"Tell me what to do." I whispered, holding the phone to my chest. I just wanted one last hug.

"Neveah?" Annie was tentative, and I felt her sit down beside me as I kept my chin and phone pressed to my chest. "You okay?"

"Yeah of course." I didn't want to lift my head. If I lifted my head she would see the tears on cheeks when my hair fell back. Instead, I let my hands fall into my lap so she could see the screen.

"Oh my gosh." I wasn't surprised her tone was happy. "I took this picture! It was our high school graduation night right?" I could't speak, I just nodded. My parents had taken out Annie and I, along with some of our other friends, to one of the sushi places. It was a nice picture, just the two of us smiling at the camera. My dad had framed it, and I remember packing it when I sold the house.

"I miss him." I finally said, and I felt Annie place her head on my shoulder and slipped an arm behind my back. "What a night for this to come up hey?"

"It's probably the best place." Annie admitted. "Because it is an awfully convenient time to take a bath, or eat a bowl of cookie dough and no one will judge you because we pulled you out of bed."

"My jet tub is amazing." Claire had come into the room, throwing herself onto the bed, laying down so her head was where ours were at the end. "You're welcome to use it. I have quite the assortment of bath bombs and bubble stuff. Quil drives into the city to get them for me."

"This is my dad." I had to shut the phone off soon, so I showed Claire the picture. I really just didn't want her to talk about all the great things Quil had done for her in that moment.

"You two look so alike."

"Right? Their personalities were super similar too." Annie interjected. I took one last look at the picture, and turned the screen off, placing it onto the ground beside my mug. The coffee was cold as I picked that up and took a sip instead, Annie let go of having her arm around me but still left our shoulders touching.

"Where do the boys keep going?" I asked, and Annie tried to look at least a little pained.

"That would be your genie wish."

"How do you get a genie wish?" Claire asked, "That sounds amazing."

"It's mostly just a favour." I responded. "But considering how getting any form of the truth around here is ridiculously difficult, it feels like asking for the truth is akin to a wish from a genie." My tone was more than agitated.

"Neveah, you know I don't like lying. This isn't my choice."

"I don't want to argue." I sighed, " But you did have a choice and this is what you chose." Annie didn't move from her spot by my shoulder, just moved a hand to rest on my knee.

"I suppose this isn't a good time to ask for another favour." Annie whispered, and I could hear Claire snort behind us.

"Might as well shoot it at me." I already knew what she was going to ask. I was already prepared with my answer.

"It's about Kyle.."

"Annie," I interrupted, "I'm not mad at him. I'm not going to hold a grudge. I want to understand why this happened, and the assurance that it won't happen again, because I did have a right to know what was going on with you. There were plenty of other people you could've asked to call like Claire, or any of the guys, But you chose to ask them to call me, knowing I would want to know what's going on."

"So, you blame me?" Her voice was quieter now.

"No, of course not. I just. I think the situation was terrible, and people reacted. However, I do think Kyle needs some kind of anger management. I had people around, what if he gets mad at you?"

"He wouldn't hurt me." Annie was still talking quietly, but changed the direction quickly. "How can you forgive him so easily? I don't even know if I can forgive him." But she already had. When you don't forgive someone, you don't let them hug you and tell you they love you, knowing you feel the same was. She was disappointed in him, and right now she couldn't tell the difference. I'd made up my mind to forgive him after realizing it meant the difference between being as close with Annie as we were now, or having to try and be her

"Hey guys, sorry to interrupt." Claire was pulling herself up and off the bed. "But I'm hungry. I'm thinking cookies?"

"I might go to sleep." I said, standing up. "My head feels heavy." I took off the jacket Annie had given me, and Claire was on me in a second to look at the bruises.

"I haven't seen them this bad on anyone in a long time."

"But you have seen them this bad?"

"Uh, not bruising this bad, but I've seen an injury similar." Claire was guarding her words too, and I wondered if there was anyone around me who wasn't trying to keep secrets.

"Yeah, purple and black are hard colours to match in my wardrobe." I smiled, trying to downplay. Trying to come back to my personality I knew myself of. Not the girl who couldn't stand to watch couples, and who went off by herself into a room to cry about her dead father. "Wake me up when the cookies are done."

"Of course!" Claire grabbed Annie's arm. "I'm sure the smell will be enough to get you out of bed anyway." Once they'd left, I crawled into the bed, assuming it was the spare bedroom considering Claire hadn't said anything. I'd wanted to stay up and think, but instead I fell asleep almost as soon as I laid down.

When I came back to the world of the living, I could smell the cookies. Mostly, I heard the faint sound of the TV on in the living room. Prominently, I heard the faint heavy breathing of someone behind me. When I turned around, I could make out the shape of a large man sitting in a chair by the bed. I waited for my eyes to adjust, and realized the large frame in the chair was Embry. Large grey sweatpants was all he wore, his chest bare. I went to sit up and thats when Embry seemed to wake up from his beauty sleep.

"Hey." He whispered, yawning and stretching his arms above him. A large part of me wished the lights were on so I could see better of his chest.

"Hi. What are you doing in here?"

"It's my turn to, uh…." From what I'd learned, Embry wasn't good at coming up with excuses.

"Just never mind." I let out a heavy sigh and moved the pillows behind me so I could sit up better. "I'm seriously over asking for the truth anymore."

"I'm not lying. It is my turn, I just can't really say why." Embry straightened himself out.

"If it's your turn for whatever you're doing, does that involve sleeping?"

"Our little secret?" He asked, sheepishly. "I haven't been getting much sleep lately."

"You sleep pretty light, I'm not surprised." I remarked. "I barely moved and you woke up."

"Well, I guess that's probably a good thing considering its my turn." My eyes were adjusting to the light more and I struggled not to stare at him and his half naked self further. "Are you okay?" His tone was softer on the next question.

"Of course I'm okay. I'm just really confused."

"Considering the situation, I'd say that's the best reaction you could have." He was trying to get more out of me, trying to figure out what I really felt about being dragged here. I wondered how much he knew about how my day had gone. Annie had seemed to think he didn't know anything.

"You can come sit beside me if you want." I patted the spot beside me. "Looks comfier than that chair." Embry didn't second guess the offer, and sat down so that our shoulders were touching. "How can you seriously sit in here without a shirt on. It's freezing."

"Quil likes it cold too, you know. It's why Claire has such a good sweater collection." You could hear the smile in his voice. We sat there in the quiet for a few moments.

"Would you want to, maybe… cuddle?" I felt the tremble in my voice.

"Cuddle?"

"Yeah, you know. Just cuddling. Maybe some sleep. Just…"

"Are you sure you're okay?" Embry asked, but I could hear the humour in his voice.

"Just a lot of thoughts tonight, and it's really cold." Embry didn't say much else, but moved the comforter so he could slide in behind me. I went to adjust the pillows, but he was already doing that for me. By the time we had gone back to laying down, I was already warm and sleepy again. Embry's body enveloped mine, and I could feel his thumb slowly drawing over my shoulder. "Don't get handsy mister."

"I won't. Go back to sleep." His low voice was silk. "I'll be right here." I tried to think of all the reasons why I shouldn't be in this position considering how long I'd known him, but instead I pushed in closer to his body and let the rhythm of my back against his chest rock me to sleep.

"Woah, guys. Isn't this a bit fast?" I woke up to the blaring lights in my face, squinting my eyes and trying to figure out who was talking. "Oh shit."

"What are these?" Embry had blinked the sleep out of his eyes much faster than I had, and his hands were turning me onto my back. Despite his tone, the fingertips that probed my shoulders were gentle.

"Embry, it was an accident." It was Jacob talking, I could make out his voice now.

"An accident?" Embry's voice was guttural, his face finally coming into focus. His skin felt hotter than before, warmer. His face was angry, his teeth and jaw clenched tight.

"Embry, not here." The first person I'd heard spoke again, their voice very quiet and calm. His arms were suddenly around me, tugging me to him from the top of the bed. Still tired, I yawned and looked over at the door where Jacob and Seth were standing. Seth must've been the one who turned on the light switch because his hand was still laying on the wall nearby it. Embry was shaking against me. I knew he was angry, but it didn't scare me. Whatever reason that was for, I couldn't tell you.

"Hey guys, what time is it?"

"Let her go." They were ignoring me, focused on Embry's shaking form.

"Embry. You're making me sweat, let go." I pushed against him, and his arms tightened further. "C'mon I wanna get some cookies." His grip seemed to loosen and his shoulders relaxed. "That's right, let my jokes bring you back to the world of the calm."

"Say you're okay first." Embry let me go, and I felt my back hit the soft bed. He leaned over me, surveying me. Every time he checked my shoulders, his shoulders shook slightly in response. I wish this had been a different scenario. I wish he was looming over me for a whole other reason that would involve me being allowed to put my hands on his toned stomach.

"I'm okay. A bit hungry though. For cookies." I tried to smile, to forget how he and I were feeling drastically different emotions in that moment. Honestly, his response was alarming, but at least Annie had warned me what the response may be. His lips twitched in response to me, but he didn't laugh. He slowly tore himself from the bed, standing up to face the other two.

"Where is he?" Embry directed his question at the two and I leapt beside him to grab his arm.

"Leave him. Jacob's right, it was an accident." Embry ignored me, pushing past the other two. I followed him, my heart slightly pounding in the hope that Kyle wasn't anywhere nearby. "Embry listen to me."

"What's going on?" Claire's hair was a bit frizzy, indicating she had been probably sleeping before this. Annie came out just behind her, and looked perplexed until she saw Embry. Instead of grabbing him, like I thought they would've done, they let him pass so that they could stop me.

"Let him go." Claire's grip was tight on my arm.

"She's right." Jacob was beside me for a moment before he followed the man ahead of me. "We have him."

"Embry!" I called to him one more time before he disappeared from sight.


	7. Spiritual Ties

Annie and Claire tried their best to distract me once all the boys had left the house, but I couldn't stop thinking about what it meant that Embry had stalked out the way he had.

"Aren't you worried?" I asked Annie. "Aren't you worried he's gone to go after Kyle?" Annie shrugged.

"I can't stop him from whatever he plans to do. He'll come back licking his wounds eventually. I warned him about it, so it won't be a surprise."

"And that's just it?" I asked Annie, almost shocked at her lack of concern, considering the amount of concern she'd shown to make me put on that jacket earlier. She had a sense of determination in her eyes and I couldn't help but wonder what had changed her mind.

"Have you seen how big they are? I'm not going to be able to stop that brick wall that is Embry. And Kyle would be more mad I got in the middle."

"But why is he that angry to begin with?"

"Genie wish." Annie was quick to answer, and I rolled my eyes to turn back to the movie that was playing. Claire made us some popcorn, and we all tried to finish the movie bleary- eyed and tired, but mind's alert. Eventually, Claire and Annie fell asleep in a bundle of blankets on the couch and I used the opportunity to sneak outside for some fresh air.

The sun was coming up, so the sky was airbrushed with colours of purple, orange, blue and pink. I sat down on the bench they had set up to the right of their glass door. The air was cool, but I'd brought a blanket outside so I wrapped myself up in that and crossed my legs to better cover everything. It didn't take long for a burly figure to come out of the forest the backyard sat attached to. I couldn't make out that it was Kyle until he was at the edge of the porch.

"Can I - can I sit here?" Kyle seemed nervous. He was dressed the same as the other boys had been, just grey sweatpants.

"Is that the outfit you have to wear to be in the club?" Kyle looked perplexed for a second before taking that as an invitation to sit down beside me. "You guys are all wearing the same thing and I'm kind of expecting a secret handshake or language or maybe even-"

"Neveah, stop." Kyle interrupted me, but his voice was tired. Getting a closer look at him now that he was in the light fading in from the kitchen window to where we sat, I saw his face was a bit swollen on one side. One of his arms was guarding the left side of his ribs and he groaned slightly as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, his face resting in his hands. "I have to say this, and although your smart wit is enough for me to think I don't have to, I do have to."

"Right." I let the quiet drag one for a little while longer, wondering if I was supposed to breach the space. I was mildly concerned about the state he was in, but it didn't seem as bad as I thought it was going to be, at least from my angle of sight.

"Sorry isn't really enough." He started, and I could sense the strain in his voice. In the moment he'd done it, I hadn't thought he was actually sorry. When he stalked off angrily, and Annie had told me that he'd come into the centre raving about how angry he was and how horrible I had been, I didn't think he thought he was wrong. I'd already accepted an apology I wasn't sure I would ever get.

"Embry found you, hey?" I didn't need to ask.

"I really need you not to interrupt." Kyle still wasn't sounding angry, but I couldn't sit here in this tension and silence. "Although, yes, he did find me. But it didn't change what I know I needed to say. He had a right."

"I disagree."

"It doesn't matter if you disagree, because its done and it happened and I did deserve it." Kyle finally lifted his head from his hands and turned his face to look at me. I saw the real amount of damage that had happened then. The swelling, the bruising, and a cut down his cheek. "Let me just say - "

"Oh my god." I stood up, flipping the blanket off of me. "I'll listen, I promise, but you need ice. Jesus. Are you guys part of Fight Club or a guest on Jerry Springer or something?"

"Neveah, I don't need ice. Sit down." Kyle was standing too, blocking me from moving past him to the door that led inside. "Please I'm fine. And we aren't any of those things."

"Well obviously, but - "

"Sit."

"He did this? Over a push? Over some bruising?"

"I heal quick. I'm fine."

"I don't care. How does violence equate more violence. I thought he was going to maybe yell and intimidate, or maybe like one punch, or I don't know. This is stupid. How did this help anyone?"

"Neveah." Kyle placed his hands on my upper arms, locking me in place and stopping my ranting. "I had zero right to touch you. For gods sake, you're someone's fucking im-" He stopped and took a deep breath. The stretch that followed was probably only a few seconds, but I couldn't help but remember how hard Annie was fighting to keep a secret that may have just as well been this one.

"Impressionable, beautiful, and of course, super intelligent, best friend?" The look he gave me then was one of relief. I raised a hand to draw it across my chest and place it on his hand resting on my arm. His grip hadn't been strong, but it loosened at my touch.

"I'm sorry. I'll spend a long time making it up to you."

"This is enough." Both of us dropped our hands. "Bruises heal. I expect us to be better, albeit a bit more careful."

"I don't have much more time." Kyle said suddenly, looking out toward the backyard to the trees. "But thanks."

"No sweat, bro." I was trying to relieve the atmosphere more, finally feeling like I could breathe again.

"Where's Annie?" Kyle wasn't laughing, and I wasn't sure why I kept trying.

"Cuddling it up with Claire on the couch. She really can sleep anywhere." Kyle moved to go inside and stopped just before he opened the screen door.

"I'm glad you came here." He didn't look at me as he said it, and just as quickly as he'd stopped, he moved inside. I stayed standing for a few moments longer, before collapsing back onto the bench and cocooning myself in the blanket. Kyle didn't come out for awhile, so I enjoyed the birds chatter as they woke up by myself.

"Hey." I hadn't realized I'd fallen asleep on the bench outside until Annie's voice roused me. "Ready to go home?" Kyle was standing close behind her. I didn't respond as I tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes. The sun wasn't too much higher than it had been before, so I couldn't have been sleeping long. When my eyesight became clearer, and I looked at Kyle's face, I realized that he had gone back to normal.

"Your face…"

"I told you, I heal quick. C'mon, sleepy, lets get you back to your own bed." The drive was calm, and I almost fell asleep in the back seat. I'd convinced Kyle to drive, mostly because I didn't think it was safe for me to do it. I didn't say much once we'd pulled into the driveway, just trudged up the stairs and into my bedroom. The warmth my blankets gave me soothed me into a half-sleep as Annie came in.

"Kyle said he said sorry."

"He did." I muttered, my voice slow.

"We'll make this up to you."

"Nah." I yawned, turning off my stomach and onto my side so I could look at her better. "There's nothing to make up."

"Either way, it's happening."

"Don't let me sleep in too long okay?"

"Okay. Sleep good." Annie left the room and I didn't bother to think anything else as I fell asleep.

The sense of danger and doom in my chest exploded. My vision was black, and I couldn't feel my body. My heart was tight. I swear I could hear a voice in my head, but I didn't know what they were saying. The headache that was starting to press at the backs of my eyes was electric, I felt the jolts move down my neck. Just as soon as it had started, it stopped, but then one thought in my head broadcasted as if in lights 'Go to the Spring'.

I was in the backyard when my eyes opened, standing there. The vividness of the dream was surreal. The grass felt slightly slick against my bare feet. I took the path I'd taken last time, the branches scratching at my face as I walked. The steps were automatic, and I didn't have to wait long before the clearing came into view. The moss still covered the stones, and the pond was still. It was the same as last time I'd been. And then I noticed it.

My dads ring.

It was right there. Sitting on the rock that was in the middle of the water. I took a few steps closer until I was at the edge. That was it. I kneeled to try and reach across the water to grab it. My thoughts were silent, and I had assumed in disbelief. I had to shuffle my knees onto the smooth rocks sorrounding the water and even then my fingers were barely reaching it. Too late, I'd realized my mistake and felt my knee slip. Headfirst, I slipped into the water. I thought it would've been colder. I wanted to swim up, to the light I could see on the surface. But my arms wouldn't move, my legs wouldn't kick. I was struggling to hold my breath.

"Just breathe." The voice rang through the water, and I twisted to try and find the source. "Trust me." I couldn't respond, not without breathing. I closed my eyes, thinking if I focused I'd be able to move my limbs. That's when I felt the hit to my stomach. The air was a flood of bubbles in front of me. I gasped, knowing my lungs weren't going to survive the water. "Try breathing now."

"Fuck off." I didn't drown. "What is going on?" When my eyes opened, she appeared in front of me. A woman. Tan skin like the boys had. Dark eyes, dark hair.

"Language." She chastised, winking and using a finger to wave in my face. "That's no way for someone such as you to talk."

I realized we were still floating in water. "Good thing this is a dream or I would assume I've finally succumbed to that psychotic episode I was voted most likely to have in high school."

"It's not really a dream." She shrugged. "You're alive right now because this spring is where your ancestors figured out who they were. This water isn't water. It's tradition."

"Tradition? My ancestors aren't from here. And I know this a dream."

"No." She shook her head, as though exhausted from my stupidity. "I'm not talking about your physical ancestors, I'm talking about your spiritual ones."

"…..Yeah I'm gonna wake up now." As if sensing my next move, she leaned forward and pinched my arm.

"Ouch! Punch me in the stomach and pinch me, what the hell?" I rubbed the spot on my arm.

"If this was a dream, wouldn't you wake up?"

"Oh great, so that means I really am having a tactile hallucination. Maybe I'm lying in a bed in a hospital somewhere."

"No. Look at me." She grabbed my shoulders, which I winced at. "Oh, here let me fix that." The pain left as she spoke.

"I'm seriously nuts. If this is my hallucination, I'd like to put my feet on something solid please. And I'd like to know how this isn't a dream when I know I haven't woken up." The woman smiled and pushed me down slightly. It felt as though I'd barely moved at all when I realized we were at the bottom of the spring's base. "Not exactly what I had in mind."

"Once you listen to me, and understand, I'll let you go back." She was standing on the bottom as well. "Ready?"

"Sure. At this point, I don't think there's much to lose."

"I called you here." She paced in front of me. "I called you here for the second time. The first time didn't go exactly as planned. I probably should've guessed trying to go to your physical body would be more challenging, but I definitely thought you'd go after the ring. It made really good bait either way. My point is: you're in trouble."

"Yeah, big trouble." I had some feeling back in my arms and I motioned to the area around me. "I'm underwater and I'm breathing and, apparently, it's not a dream. Did I die in my sleep and this is what that middle ground between heaven and hell is?"

"No. Now shush." She cleared her throat. "You are what I like to call, a Free Alpha. It's the one that can command werewolves."

"Werewolves?" My snort caught in my throat. "Are you fucking serious?"

"Yeah…. You don't even know that yet? Really, you know, back in my day when we imprinted on someone we told them right away." She tilted her head at me, her eyes squinting. "Although, I can see why that didn't happen in this case."

"Imprinted? Look, I'm leaving." I tried to swim up, but my body just floated back down to the bottom everytime I jumped and flailed at the reflection of the surface above.

"Okay, fine, struggle. I'll just sit here." She sat down, cross-legged, and rested her head in one of her hands. "Originally, I thought this would be fun to teach the new girl all this stuff. You're pretty young to start learning though, not that we have much of a choice."

"You look younger than me." I stopped struggling.

"When you're a spirit, you get to be whatever age you want. And a lady never tells her real age. Take a seat." I stared at her blankly for a moment. This as a reality wasn't possible and yet I found myself unable to run away. Comprehending where I was, what this was, and why were beyond my cognitive functioning. I did the only thing I could do, I took a seat and I waited.

"Ready." I said. If this could end this strange occurrence, then I would take it.

She cleared her throat before beginning. "Right, so Free Alpha, thats what you are. We haven't granted this kind of power to anyone in years, mostly because they've never been close to this place. Ever so often a pack member imprints on someone who's spirit, or soul, is descended from a previous Alpha, and that's how it's decided, which happened to you. I'm here to teach you what you need to know before the danger finds a way to destroy everything."

"Spirits told you this?" I asked. "Just, came out of nowhere and picked me."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better we can call it destiny…"

"That really doesn't make it better." I sighed.

"Look." She reached forward to grab my hand. "Just agree to let me show you things. No one's expecting you to believe this right now, in this moment, but you will. You're the person someone has so desperately been looking for. And he'll find you, but this way you get to decide how that goes."

"Okay." Her hand was cooler than the water around us. "Okay, so, what do I do now?"

"Now?" She smiled. "You just have to agree, so I can be with you."

"Okay. I agree." The figure in front of me faded then and my eyes snapped open. The ceiling of my bedroom glared down at me and I took a deep breath, thankful it was just really just a dream.

"First lesson!" Her voice was in my head now. I snapped up to a sitting position and scanned my room.

"Where are you?" I threw my legs over the side of the bed, trying to find the source.

"Nowhere. Now, listen. You can read their minds, in human or wolf form. And put your thoughts into their heads."

"So if this is a lesson, where are they?" No one was here.

"I'll let you know when one of them is close. Just carry on your normal way."

"Oh good, more secrets." By the time I'd finished my sentence, it's like I could feel she was already gone. No warning. No way to know if this was real or some sort of schizophrenia coming out in me. I changed my clothes and headed downstairs to get my caffeine fix. The couple of the house was nowhere to be found, so I took in the scent of the coffee while it brewed in silence.

"Neveah?" Kyle's voice boomed as the door thudded open and then closed. Annie came into the room first.

"We went to go get breakfast!" She smiled and laid down a big brown bag on the table. "You're gonna love it!" I wanted to argue, but the smell of the food was causing my mouth to water. "Oh, we got you coffee but I see you already made some."

"There's no such thing as too much coffee." I responded, grabbing the cup from her hands. Kyle came into the room then, his hands shoved into his pockets.

"OH!" The voice came back into my head, and I realized I should ask her name eventually. "Try it on him!" My eyes widened and I stared at Kyle for a moment

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Kyle's shoulders almost went more tense.

"It's like a switch." The woman's voice was echoey. "For this one, you just think it." I didn't know if I wanted to believe her. I didn't know what was happening, but I tried it anyway.

 _Oh man, is she still scared of me?_ It was Kyle's voice, I could tell it was. _I know bribing with food probably isn't going to solve everything, but I really thought the coffee would at least lull her into a false sense of security._

"What the fuck." I couldn't help but say it out loud.

"What's wrong?" Annie was perplexed in both tone of voice and facial expression. Kyle looked even more confused if possible.

"Good job!" The woman sounded excited. "That was easier to awaken then I'd thought."

 _Maybe she's lost it. Maybe I finally pushed her over the edge. Embry is going to actually kill me this time if I permanently damaged his Imprint. I mean, I know how I'd feel if someone hurt Annie._

"Neveah?" Annie grabbed my arm. "Neveah, what's wrong?"

"What's an imprint?" I might as well put this mind reading thing to good use.


	8. Meeting My Enemy Or My Friend

"We gotta go." Annie was pushing a shocked Kyle out the door. "You know, we're already late for work and stuff. I'm going to be doing paperwork at the office. Come by when you're bored, okay! Enjoy the breakfast! C'mon Kyle, Move."

"Okay okay, I'm moving." Kyle let Annie push him to the front door and outside. Once the house was quiet again, the voice in my head became louder.

"That went well." She said, "I expected a bit worse."

"Worse? Worse than them running away?"

"Well yeah. They are werewolves after all." She disappeared from my consciousness after that, so I sat down to eat the breakfast Annie had brought me. My hands were shaking as I reached for the plastic cutlery, but I tried to push it out of my mind. I figured it was from being anxious, from actually believing this phenomenon that was happening to me. Reading peoples minds? It was crazy. Yet the taste of the eggs were real, the smell of the coffee, and the shake to my fingers.

If Annie was going to be doing paperwork down at the shop, then maybe that's where I should start. Today was going to be the day of answers. No more questions being dodged, or 'it's not the right time's, and no more secrets. Feeling determined, I walked out the front door once I'd laced up my shoes.

"Next lesson!" I said, as the door closed behind me.

"You've barely conquered lesson one." The woman responded casually, "I don't think we're quite at lesson two level. I'll tell you when." She left before I could come up with a retort, so I walked my way to the office. I couldn't help but think of how quickly Annie and Kyle had disappeared. It gave me a new found hope that maybe I could solve the secrets after all.

"Excuse me?" A voice to my left revealed a mans face, half his body under the bottom of his car, obviously fixing something. "Could you hand me that socket there?" He pointed to a pile of tools just out of arms reach. I looked down at the road ahead of me and shrugged, I wasn't in any real hurry to go see Annie.

"Uhm, which one?" I wandered into the driveway and started picking up sockets to show him.

"Yeah, that one there." I passed it to him and stayed crouching for a moment before standing back up tall again.

"Is that all you need?"

"Well, for now. I could use a hand, but I won't ask you to stay and help out a stranger. You looked to be on a mission when you walked by,"

"I guess you could say that." The woman edged back into my mind, cautious and quiet. "Why can't you just move them closer?"

"That would be a smart idea, wouldn't it?" When he smiled my heart melted a bit. He had a face that reminded me of a boy I'd known a long time ago. "I could do that."

"Or!" I crossed my arms over my chest for a second, wondering how great of an idea it was, before sitting down on the small curb that edged the driveway. "I could use some company, if you'd like it."

"Well, sure. I'm Ethan. I'd shake your hand but it's a little greasy."

"I'm Neveah." A piece of grass stuck onto my shoe and I picked at it before continuing. "Have you lived here long?"

"No, I just got here with some friends of mine."

"Just moved here?"

"Yeah, some buddies and I had to search for something." Alarm bells were slowly sounding in my head, and I felt the woman in my mind struggle to find why she felt that way.

"Did you come from far away?"

"Far enough away." Ethan asked me to pass him another kind of bolt before continuing. "We move a lot so I doubt we'll be here long. If it's not here, then it's not here."

"It sounds sorta lonely." I still didn't know why I'd chosen to sit down with a stranger in a town I barely knew the way around, let alone the kind of people that lived here. He had some sort of pull, something that intrigued me.

"It can be, but when I find what I'm looking for. It'll all be worth it."

"What are you looking for?" I asked, stretching out my legs. He paused in his work, staring at whatever he was working on, before pulling himself out from under the car. A cooler was near the back of the truck, so he walked to it and came back with two cans.

"Soda?" He asked, offering one of the cans to me.

"Sure." I couldn't tell if I was going to get an answer. Ethan took a seat beside me.

"I'm looking for more of a person, than a thing." He cracked the can open and took a big gulp. I chose to stay quiet, unsure of where his story was going. "Someone who can help me."

"Like a doctor?" I asked. "A specialist or something?"

"Something like that." He held my gaze. "Someone who can command the wolf, so to speak."

"Oh?" The alarm bells were stronger now, and the woman in my head was hard to understand in that moment. "Is that a metaphor?"

"What do you think?" Did he know? Was I the person he was looking for? Someone who can command the wolf sounded an awful lot like what a Free Alpha was.

"I don't know how you could actually command wolves, so I'm gonna go with yes."

"Never heard of that before?"

"The phrase? Never." The pokerface he had on was almost frightening. My mind was screaming but my body was calm. My muscles weren't trembling to run. My lungs didn't feel tight.

"I'm granting you something." The woman in my head finally spoke English again. "It's not supposed to be available for you to use, but I really think you might need it."

"It sounds like a phrase?" Ethan questioned.

"Yeah, like one of those common phrases? Raining cats and dogs, stuff like that." I was floundering and I was starting to see the beginnings of him being able to tell.

"I think you may know her."

"I think Im gonna go." I stood up suddenly. "It was super good to meet you, Ethan, but I gotta meet my friend at the shop and go for lunch, and go see my boyfriend, maybe check in on things at work. Just a really busy day ahead of me, so I'll catch you later." The lies flowed out of me like silk.

"Neveah." Ethan reached out to grab my arm and I turned to look at him. "You know where to find me. I really enjoyed your company."

"Let me go." His hand immediately dropped from my arm and his face took on a perplexed smile. "See you later." I stalked off in the direction I'd been travelling in, but I wasn't going to the same place I'd planned on. Instead, my feet took me to Embry's.

I dropped the key at least twice trying to open the door, but I got inside and sat against the door that closed behind me. What a weird person. He unnerved me and intrigued me. Besides the fact I had a sinking feeling the person he was looking for is me.

"Hello?" Embry's voice called out from the kitchen. My legs felt like jelly. Now the anxiety was kicking in. "Neveah?" When he came around the corner he looked confused for only a moment. In another second he was helping me to my feet. But it was my reaction that scared me. My whole world shifted as I looked at him. I'd felt somehow connected to him before, but now I could almost see the strings between us.

"Nothing's wrong." I said quickly his hands were turning over my arms to look at them. "You said if I needed it to come here and I couldn't think of where else to go."

"I'm glad you're here." He said, "I was actually going to be heading over to your place soon."

"Why?"

"I think you know why." His eyes were softer as they stared at me, probing me with a desperation I couldn't see anywhere else in his expression. I felt a shudder run up my spine, my whole body screaming to reach my lips to his.

"A lot of people are saying that today and I'm really not sure I know."

"If I say Annie called me, would you know then?"

"Hm?" I was trying to memorize his face, because I didn't want it to disappear from memory.

"I forgot that happened when you learned to Alpha command." The woman seemed nervous. "I mean, that's lesson three you got super early. But ah. It triggers your imprint instincts. Not as strongly as his would be, but definitely more noticeable."

"Imprint?" I said outloud.

"Yes, that." Embry stood tall. "Come on." He led me to the kitchen and I took a seat at one of the stools. He leaned on the counter beside me on the corner. "I don't know how to start."

"Start anywhere." I just wanted to hear him talk.

"So, an imprint is..." He turned to me, and his face was so close that this time I couldn't resist. I leaned in so that my nose touched his. His voice caught in the middle of his sentence, but I'd already closed my eyes and missed the expression on his face as I moved a millimetre more to finally kiss him. I was drunk off that feeling, off the spark and the intensity of just his lips touching mine.

"What are you-?" I'd pulled away for only a moment so that I could kiss down his jawline and onto his neck. The growl in his chest only egged me on. It took barely a second for him to take me from the stool to the countertop. My legs wrapped around his waist as his lips met mine again. I let my hand slide up into his hair, while the other I used to tug on his shirt. He pulled away for a second to rip it over his head and then come back to me. My hand drifted across his stomach, ticking the rope of muscles I found there. His hands held me as close to his body as possible. One was tangled into my hair. The other gripped my upper thigh to hold me into place against him. His skin was warm. I just wanted a taste.

"Neveah." He didn't let me go back in once I'd pulled back. "I have to explain this to you first."

"No, you don't." I pulled his head down to mine. He didn't protest. Didn't push me away. The small edge of control he still had was fading away. I could feel it in the bunch of his shoulders and the heat of his kiss.

"Just. Give me ten minutes." He pulled back again, but this time I made sure to have my face buried in his neck before he could keep me at arms length. "You're making it hard to think."

"Come closer." I was barely in control of my body anymore, but Embry stilled as he pulled me into him more, if that was even possible.

"Say that again?" I lifted my head to meet his gaze. "Give me another command." Instead I flipped the switch in my head, forgetting for a moment that I could only read werewolves minds.

 _Gorgeous. My gorgeous imprint just alpha commanded me. They can't do that, can they? Sam never mentioned it, no one else talks about it. Is this just part of the connection? Someone would've mentioned it. But she's beautiful. I want to give her everything. Maybe that's what it is._

"Take three steps away from me." Embry was a werewolf. He did the action and his face twisted into a complicated mess of emotion.

"Neveah?" I longed for his skin again, just to feel it, just to touch it. Embry didn't seem perturbed by just standing there half-naked, and I wasn't bothered enough to tell him to cover up. The distraction was oddly satisfying. "What's going on?"

"I think you owe me an explanation, not the other way around." I jumped off the counter to get a glass of water.

"Right, I know." He wandered to the side of the island opposite me. "That's why we're here."

"That's not why I'm here." I said, chugging the water so I could pour myself another. "Just a side effect of wanting to see you I guess."

"You want it fast or slow?"

"What?" My brain was dying.

"The information, Neveah, what else..." As if reading my mind instead of the opposite way around, Embrys gaze turned heated again.

"Well." I didn't have time to respond before Embry's cell phone rang. He sighed before picking it up.

"Yeah? Right now? Well, I'm here with Neveah. No, at my place. No, she came by herself. Right, well can it wait? It can't." Embry paused. "C'mon I'll owe you one." Embry sighed at the response. "Alright."

"Who was that?" I asked, trying to seem less interested than I was.

"I gotta go to work."

"Right now?" I was dumbfounded.

"Yeah, but you can stay here if you want. Take a nap, or something." He ran his hand through his hair and put his shirt back on. I heard a quiet 'boo' in my head and wondered if it was my own thoughts or the woman.

"I don't know. I'll see how I feel. Will you be late?"

"I wish I knew." He stepped closer to me again and cleared his throat. "There's food here if you want it, the TV to yourself, game consoles if you would like, and the spare bedroom is the one to the right." He stood awkwardly for a second and then leaned forward to place a quick kiss on my forehead. "I'll explain everything soon, I promise."

"You don't have to if you don't want to." I pulled away from him to open the cupboard, pretending to look for something. "I'm really not in a hurry."

"Okay, well, I'd like to tell you, so I'll see you later." I turned slightly to watch him go and and listened carefully as the front door closed.


	9. The Best Of Us

The house of Embry was oddly clean. I remember him mentioning to me that he wasn't home much, so maybe that explained it. His fridge was stocked so at the very least I didn't have any problems coming up with a quick recipe to make. However, on the other hand, his pots and pans had obviously never seen the light of day. I wondered if the man even knew how to cook.

"Hey, what should I call you?" I asked the voice in my head. I felt her ponder for a second.

"Well, I don't really have a name anymore." The woman was thinking, "But it would be easier with a name wouldn't it?"

"It's why I asked." I waited for her to think. "And the best part about that is you can name yourself."

"Ellie." She finally decided. My cellphone started to ring and Annie's name flashed across the screen. I struggled with answering it for a moment, wondering what it could be about. The last time I answered the phone when it related to Annie I had to deal with the black and blue aftermath.

"Hey." I answered. "What's up?"

"I know I flew out of the house super quick this morning. Just late for work, you know. So did Embry talk to you?" The question was quick, thrown at the end of the rest of her thoughts as though it didn't matter, when it was the question she really wanted to ask

"We… talked." I thought of the encounter, realizing we didn't utilize our lips to talk much. "I still don't have any answers."

"Oh, are you serious?" She sounded exasperated.

"Well, someone called him into work so I assume you have either Jacob or Kyle to blame for the mechanics emergency."

"Ah, right. Okay so lets have dinner tonight!"

"As in, lets make dinner? Don't we always do that?"

"No, like… a double date dinner?"

"Who am I going on a date with?" I asked, perplexed on why she had just come up with the idea.

"Hum, well, you are at Embry's house right?"

"And?"

"Well, something more than just like hanging out happened right?"

"How do you know that?"

"A man walks into the garage and his smile brightens up the whole place? Yeah, that's how I can tell." Annie was proud of herself, I could tell.

"Well shouldn't you be planning this with him so that he can ask me?"

"It's 2017, Neveah, I'd like to think we can ask men out."

"Right, that is true." I moved around the kitchen now, finding all the ingredients for the recipe I wanted to make. "How is the shop anyway?"

"It's good, Kyle seems to think business is picking up, so I count that as a solid win."

"Very solid."

"Anyway, just think about it and text me to let me know! Also, hike tomorrow okay! Rain or shine, but prepare for rain probably. You have to see how tall these cliffs are up close. Okay talk to you later." Annie hung up quickly. I'd heard a voice in the background and wonder who had interrupted her.

"Neveah?" I flicked my head to see Seth come into the kitchen. Placing a hand over my heart, I patted my chest.

"I'm sorry, do you live here?" At his perplexed expression, I continued. "This isn't your house, and I'm pretty sure when you visit a house you don't live at you knock."

"Or barge in because you have a key." Seth smirked at me. I opened my mouth a few times, before closing it and shaking my head.

"Fine, okay, I thought I was special. Sorry about that."

"I accept your apology, so how've you been?" Seth casually leaned against the counter. "The bruises look better." They felt better.

"I'm fine. Really fine. Just peachy really. I love a good mystery."

"Want to get some coffee?" He asked me, as though he knew my deepest thoughts.

"That's not even a fair question." Seth's smile was brighter now. "However I do kind of want to take a nap."

"I have a fantastic idea. Let's take a nap, and then have coffee."

"It's like you're my soulmate." The laugh that came out of my mouth was genuine, and it almost shocked me. It had been so long since I'd really felt comfortable around someone. Annie was keeping secrets from me. Embry was confusing both my body and my mind. Seth was a variable I hadn't realized could be so valuable. "But where?"

"Spare room upstairs. It's a king. There's extra blankets. We don't even have to share."

"Embry will be okay with that?"

"I think we're both sort of counting on that he isn't." Seth grinned again. "I get to annoy him, you get to make him jealous. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Are you being sarcastic?" I started to follow him to the spare bedroom despite my protests and completely abandoning my meal preparation. "I saw what you guys do to each other when you fight."

"Here's the difference." Seth explained as he held open the door for me. "I'm faster than Kyle and substantially smarter. So not only would Embry have to catch me, but he would also have to find me."

"You're brilliant."

"I know." We both crawled into the bed, and I tucked myself under numerous covers. I hadn't realized how tired I really was. Considering I was unemployed and really didn't have any hobbies besides having conversations with the hallucination in my head, it was a bit concerning.

"Im not a hallucination." Ellie huffed. "C'mon it's been like 8 hours." I heard Seth's breathing slow down beside me. Considering this nap wasn't even top three of the strangest things that had happened to me today, I didn't give it another thought before falling asleep myself.

"Guys, really?" I woke up bleary-eyed to Jacob standing over the bed. "Seth you got here three hours ago."

"It's dangerous to wake people up before a full four hour nap." Seth responded. He was standing up beside the bed, stretching his arms above his head.

"Does everyone have.a key for this house?" I asked, yawning and rolling over so my back was to them. "I'm gonna sleep more."

"Annie commanded me to come get you for dinner. Apparently you were supposed to have a double date or something?"

"Or something?"

"She rattled on a bit. I sort of lost track of what she was saying." Jacob ran his hand through his hair.

"You're gonna make some girl so happy someday." I mumbled.

"Point is," Jacob continued. "We're all having dinner over at Annie and Kyle's. Embry and everyone will be there. So I think your nap is over."

When I thought about him, there was an itch all over my skin. It's as though it was at a loss without him. I didn't feel right. I felt like I was having a bad hair day, a fat day, any day you could think of that meant a negative. My heart was still beating. My lungs were still breathing. I was still alive. It just felt like the wrong place and the wrong time.

"That's sort of the opposite of what imprinting is." Ellie piped up. "It's the right place at the right time."

"I was promised coffee." Seth interrupted my thought process. "Naps and coffee. We aren't done hanging out yet. So they can wait."

"I'd really just prefer to sleep some more." I responded. "Can I just meet you there? It's not far to walk."

"No." Jacob and Seth responded at the same time.

"Alright." I sat up. "Here's the plan. I'm gonna take a shower. When I'm done, Seth and I will grab coffee." I looked at the clock. "Which looks like it'll be close enough to closing that we can pick up Claire and we can all go to Annie's and figure out who's gonna feed me."

"This is why we keep you around." Seth commented. "We couldn't plan something like that."

"I don't doubt it." I responded, heading to the bathroom.

 _A couple hours later_

"All the boys?"

"All of them." Annie beamed. Seth and Jacob were standing behind me, almost like two bodyguards. I never got the coffee I was promised, but Seth promised me he'd take me another day. They'd forced me to walk with them, stating the exercise would be good for me and that the slight change in my caffeine levels would be good for my heart. "All of them in one house is quite a feat you know."

"Right, it's especially hard when food is involved." I responded, kicking off my shoes.

"Ugh, I know. They absolutely abhor eating. How was your day?"

"Interesting..."

"Interesting how?" Annie sat down at the kitchen table, beckoning me to sit across from her. I struggled with the decision for a moment.

"You know, I think I'm gonna go change. I've been sleeping in these and I could just use some new clothes."

"Oh, alright." Annie stood up and turned around to the fridge. "Kyle's bringing over the takeout in half an hour, so maybe just come down then?" I just smiled and headed up the stairs.

"Hey Annie, got any beverages anywhere in here?" Seth asked.

"Where are you even from?" I could hear Annie laugh. My room was the same as when I left it. I threw on some of my older clean clothes I found on the ground. I hadn't had the motivation to do laundry.

"Neveah?" Annie knocked on the door. "Can I come in?"

"Oh, sure." I sat down on the side of my unmade bed as Annie came in and shut the door behind her.

"You've really made yourself at home here." Annie looked around at the clothes strewn around the room.

"Is that okay?" I asked, tugging on my ear.

"Oh, no. I mean, of course. Yeah. It's perfect." She sat down beside me and I sensed her nervous energy in every step she took from the door to my bed. "We're really out of sync lately."

"It's been awhile since we've seen each other like this. We lived so far away from each other for so long." I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to talk to her. Between her husband being aggressively overprotective, her being secretive and myself going through an emotional rollercoaster there wasn't much time for us to just be best friends.

"That day," She started and then laughed before getting up and walking over to look out the window by the small reading bench. "This is so stupid to say."

"It's not." I fell back on my bed, my feet dangling over the side so I could stare at the ceiling and not at her. "Nothing you say is stupid."

"You know the day that your dad died?"

"I've never forgotten." I closed my eyes and took as much air as I could into my lungs. I can still hear the phone ringing.

"Remember how you called me? And I couldn't be there? And you told me not to worry about it because you knew how badly I wanted to be there, and that was what mattered?"

"Vaguely."

"That day at the clinic. I told them to call you because I wanted you to be there. I wasn't ready to see Kyle. But they got the wording wrong and when Kyle told me the story." I still had my eyes closed, so I didn't know what she was doing when she stopped talking.

"It reminded me of that moment. When you wanted to be there so badly but couldn't." I felt the bed sink beside me. "I know its not your fault and I have a hard time blaming Kyle, but I really wish you had been there."

"I know." But I hadn't known.

"I lost the baby." It was when she grabbed my hand. The desperate fingers intertwining with mine as I squeezed them back. Her grip was tight as I felt her lay down beside me. I turned on my side to face her, finally opening my eyes. She was staring at me.

"You were pregnant?" I asked. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I had this whole thing planned." Annie started. I thought she'd be crying, but all of her emotion was in her voice. "Like this whole 'you're gonna be a godmom' thing. I was more excited for that than I was when I told Kyle."

"I would've liked it." I said, finding the words and the voice.

"I don't know how it happened. I went into the clinic and while I was there, it just. It happened. I lost it while I was at the clinic checking on it." She shook her head. "I know it was the best place it could've happened, but, my baby, you know?"

"I know." I squeezed her hand.

"I really wanted to tell you earlier, at Claire's, but I didn't know how."

"I didn't know how to ask." We were both facing each other on our sides, surrounded by the mess I'd been living in. "I'm so sorry, Annie."

"Yeah." Her eyes welled up now. I nudged forward so I could hug her. The tears hit my shoulder, but she didn't sob. We could hear the boys arriving, the loud thuds and laughter floating up the stairs and through the closed door.

"Oh man." Annie unfolded herself from me and sat up. "That takeout food will make both of us feel better, I swear."

"Comfort food a la small town?"

"I love you, Neveah." Annie said, "I'll never stop loving you, even if we never have this much time together again."

"I love you too." I said, sitting up myself. "Let's go eat now? Seth refused to allow me coffee so I'm getting pretty cranky."

"Caffeine deprived you is honestly the worst. I remember when your doctor forced you to go off it for all those sensitivity tests in high school."

"I really am trying to forget that, thanks." Annie laughed, a real laugh this time and stood up, offering me a hand.

"Come on, before someone thinks we've fallen asleep and eats everything." Annie didn't let go of my hand right away when she helped me up. I took a moment to take her all in. The warmth of her palm with the frizzy braid of her hair. In all ways, she was the perfect Annie. I couldn't have asked for better.


	10. Wish We Hadn't Been There

The next morning, after the catastrophe that was the night of dinner with literally all of the boys plus Claire, Annie woke me up bright and early. "Take a shower and get your hiking gear ready!"

I blearily rolled over to look out the window. "It's raining!"

"It's always raining." Annie's smile brightened as she moved to ensure my curtains were as wide open as possible. "C'mon Kyle's making coffee!" She bounced out of the room and I tried to get ready as slowly as possible.

"Here." Kyle was handing me a mug when I walked into the kitchen. "It's gonna be a good hike but a bit of a bone dampener."

"Bone chilling makes it sound like a horror film." I sighed.

"That's why I said dampener." Kyle leaned against the counter to sip his own cup of coffee. "You ready for early morning Annie?"

"No. I 100% am not ready." I had barely finished my sentence before I saw a few backpacks fly down the stairs.

"Are you guys ready!" Annie said in a singsong voice, throwing a backpack at both Kyle and I. Kyle, with the better reflexes and the better throw, caught it with one hand. I, on the other hand with the exact opposite of those two aspects, caught it with both hands and effectively spilled my coffee. Kyle was there in a minute, blocking the burning coffee from spilling on my clothing and ushered me up.

"Jeez Neveah, your catch is the worst its ever been." I gaped at Annie and she clapped me on the shoulder. "But I suppose I can postpone our leave time so you can have another cup."

"Wow. You're really kind and generous today." I wanted to roll my eyes, but instead turned myself to the coffeepot. Annie helped Kyle to clean up and I caught him giving her a quick kiss to her forehead. I imagined Embry in that moment, the strange pull I felt constantly to be around him, to hear his voice. The night before we had spent the whole time within a few feet of each other, stealing glances and trying to start conversations. We were both nervous, but eager, as though the kisses had changed everything. I felt the key in my pocket, held it tight in my fist. Where've this was going, I wasn't entirely sure I was ready.

—

Kyle led the way, with Annie in the middle and I following behind. I wanted to read Kyle's mind, to hear where we were going, but Ellie popped up as I thought to switch.

"You don't want to hear people unless you need to." She said, and I felt her crossing her arms.

"But why? Wouldn't his thoughts be useful?"

"Sure. But some thoughts you really don't want to hear. Especially in this kind of way, when they're off daydreaming." Ellie paused. "You know?"

"Okay." She disappeared from my consciousness. The mud was squishing under my boots on the path we were taking. I tried to concentrate on Annie's backpack, trying to memorize the elastic band that zigzagged across the back. How her water bottle was scratched up in a pattern of paths that reminded me of adventure.

"You keeping up?" Annie turned to walk backwards, her smile stretching lazily across her face. Her hair was falling out of its braid and she reached up to tuck a strand behind her ear. "We're almost at the cliffs."

"Don't fall." I mentioned, looking at her feet and imagining the rocks hiding in the mud.

"Never. I'm an expert at this."

"So why are we going to the cliffs."

"The view!" The path widened and she took another turn so she was beside me facing forward. "The gorgeousness of the ocean stretched beyond what you can see."

"So you have this back home too?"

"A cliff? Apparently." She was eyeing Kyle now. His thin shirt had gotten damp, and you could see his muscles as the wet fabric clung to them. I elbowed her and she nudged me back.

"Don't say you wouldn't look if it wasn't Embry."

"Never." I tugged on my ear. "I don't ogle people the way you do."

"Oh right, never. You never went to the beach just to look at the boys." We had come out of the forested area to a path that ran along the edge of the cliff.

I mock smacked my chest, "How dare you imply I treat people like objects."

"Manmeat." She smirked. We'd fallen behind during our exchange, our steps in unison, and Kyle had turned around on the path up ahead. As we got closer, I noticed his face changing. A fiercely undeniable ringing started in the back of my head. Kyle was running. He was yelling. His face twisted in a fear I'd never seen on a person's face before.

 _I know you can hear me, Alpha._ I recognized the voice. The voice of a man I'd met beside a truck. _Maybe you'll listen now._ It was then that I heard rustling beside us, and I turned to try and peer through the bush on instinct. A furry body rammed into my chest, sent me flying over the edge of the cliff. I could see the wolf, grinning, watching me fall. He never turned his head as he reached out a paw to rip along the front of Kyle who was only one more step away from him. I was trying to remember how to scream, how to twist my body so the water wouldn't knock the wind out of me. Ellie was yelling at me, but I couldn't hear her words. I couldn't breathe.

"Kyle!" Annie knew how to scream and she, courageously, tried to push against the wolf. I fell out of sight as the wolf turned. But before I hit the water, before my breathing problem was the least of my worries. I saw him just barely bump her. Her balance failed, and she fell a mere foot from the edge, towards the rocks below.

The bone chilling was persistent, aggressive. My head immediately pounded a headache. I tried to claw to the surface. I couldn't remember which way was up. The water was rough. It felt like fire down my throat and needles on my skin. It felt like I was dying.

But then a hand was grabbing me, and then two. I felt my face hit air. I tried to take in the deepest breath only to end up coughing.

"You're okay. You're okay." It was Seth, pulling me to shore. "Breathe, breathe." God, I couldn't breathe. Where was Annie?

And that's when I remembered how to scream.

"Annie!" My voice was getting drowned out by the water crashing into my face. Seth had no problem pulling me into the direction we wanted to go, despite how I was thrashing against him.

"Quil has got her." Seth was trying to calm me, but I couldn't stop pushing him. I couldn't just give up. "We've got them." I didn't believe him. Ellie was trying to calm me down, but my mind was in an abstract painting of panic. Seth was pulling me onto the shore, I felt the wet sand scrape against my arms as I tried to push away from him. "Don't look."

"You don't look." I finally managed, sitting up, letting him be the brick wall. "I can help."

"The paramedics are coming." Seth was pulling me into him. He was warm. And strong.

"Focus on you. You can't help them without you." I hated Ellie, that's what I told myself in that moment. I hated her more than anything. She quietly fell back in my mind, remorseful at my pain but not her actions.

Someone was pulling me back from Seth, against their own chest. It was comfort. A soothing heat that warmed my chilled bones. It was the dawn you see at the end of a horror game, after escaping the dark. Or when you've worked all night and you sink into the softness of your bed. Familiarity mixed with warmth.

'You're okay." I tried to repeat it in my head. _I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay._ Seth was in front of me still, blocking my view of anything. Two brick walls, stuck between them.

It must've only been a few minutes, when the paramedics checked me over. I kept hearing words I recognized like shock, hypothermia, trauma. They wanted to take me to the hospital, but I kept refusing. Embry hadn't left my side, always persistently nearby. He couldn't block the sound of another ambulance pulling away from the brick wall that was his body, sirens blaring.

"Just go. Just for the night." His hand was warm in mine. "Just to make sure."

"No." I told him, sharper than I'd wanted to. His eyes were sad, as though someone had taken the fire from them and doused the cinders.

"Nothing you can change will be different tomorrow." Cryptic. We all knew it. "Besides, both Annie and Kyle are at the hospital."

"Then take me there, not as a patient."

"Please." His voice was begging, as though the simple word could change my mind. Change what had happened. Ellie was still blocking me, still not allowing me to read him.

"I can't do what you want me to." The paramedics were kind, asked me one more time if I was sure. My vitals were normal, I was warming up. I didn't know how to tell them what had happened. How to tell them the truth without them thinking more was going on in my head than just today. They stayed another few minutes, got me to sign something. And then it was Embry and I, alone.

"Take me to the hospital." I demanded it, yearned for it. "I'll wait in the waiting room. You don't have to stay."

"Jacbo's there. You need to relax and tell me exactly what happened." I stared at him, trying not to blink. "Tell me what you saw."

"I don't know." I couldn't think of a story, didn't know why I had to lie to him when I knew he would know what had happened. That he wouldn't think a giant wolf would be crazy, because he himself could become one. What was crazy was I knew who it was, I knew who had hurt Annie and Kyle. How do I explain that? How do I explain that a random wolf was talking in my head when I wasn't supposed to know anything at all?

"How did you fall into the water?" We were in a car, engine running, heat blaring. His voice was gentle, but his fists were clenched around the steering wheel.

" _I didn't fall."_ I just wanted him to leave me alone. To drop me off at the hospital so I could piece together what was happening in my mind. He started the car and I recognized the path he took was back to the house. My heart was pounding against my chest. Embry didn't ask me anymore questions, for the moment.

I snapped out of the car quickly, stalking to the front door once he pulled into the driveway. Furious, the door shut behind me before Embry got to it. I put my hands one either side of the counter where the coffeemaker was, staring at the half full pot.

"Neveah you need to calm down."

"You know what doesn't help people calm down?" I glared at him, "telling people to calm down."

"I wouldn't have to ask if you would just tell me what happened."

"Why?" I refused to turn to him. "Why does it matter to you?" His hands turned me, his grip gentle but demanding.

"You almost died. That's why it matters."

"No, I didn't. You're being dramatic." I couldn't stop the words. His eyes narrowed.

"How do you know they weren't trying to kill you?" I moved out of his grip, trying to piece together a memory I didn't want to remember.

"They? So you know something?"

"Not nearly enough."

"I'm not going to say." Ellie was listening, ever-present. Her sage advice wasn't being voiced.

"You are going to say. I can't protect you if you don't tell me."

"I don't need your protection." I wanted to scream, but we both had kept out voices calm. A low sound that was almost too loud for the quietness of the house. "Please, _please_ , let me go to the hospital."

"Don't beg me for something I can't give you." It was a tense moment. "You need to change out of those clothes." I'd refused new clothes earlier, and I was starting to shake again.

"Great idea." I rolled my eyes and I heard him sigh, before slouching down into one of the kitchen chairs. Before either of us could say anything more, Claire rushed through the door. Quit was right behind her, an enormous shadow.

"Are you okay?" Claire didn't care that I was soaking wet, enveloping me in a huge hug. I was trying not to cry, but it was hard to tell if it was out of frustration or fear.

"Why are you here?" I asked as she pulled away. She didn't respond, just took my hand and led me upstairs to my room. I took one last look at Embry before I left, who was watching my every move.

"Get warm." Claire was throwing clothes at me. "And I'll make us some food."

"I'm going to the hospital." She paused, only for a moment, barely noticeable. "You can't all stop me."

"I know you're mad." She said, keeping her body turned from me as I changed. "I really wish I could give you what you want."

"I need this."

"You don't. You don't have to see your friend in emergency as they try to stabilize her." Claire shoved a sweater over my head, mothering me. "You don't have to see her as vulnerable as that. When she's ready, we'll go. Jacob will call."

"I should be there."

"You should. As a patient, but you refused that." Accusatory.

"Fine." I gave up, as I always did. "But I'm calling Jacob now."

"Sure." She nodded. "That's fair." And we both headed downstairs to two pacing wolves.


	11. Turmoil

Claire helped me downstairs, where Embry and Quil were talking in hushed tones. Embry was the first to turn to me, his eyes sinking from my head to my feet.

"You feel okay?" I opened my mouth to say something when I heard my cellphone starting to ring from the living room where I'd left it. Wisely, I hadn't taken it on the hike, opting to leave it behind so I wasn't tempted to take pictures of my surroundings instead of watching them. Before responding to Embry, I turned on my heel to see an unknown number. I let it go to voicemail, unprepared to have a normal conversation with someone.

"Yeah." I felt weak. "I'm fine."

"Want some coffee?"

"I guess." I sighed and sat down at the table, trying to breathe normally.

From that moment, it felt like everything went too fast. It was a flurry of constant mugs of coffee and Embry's smell. I tasted the difference when he switched me to decaf. He was trying to keep me grounded, trying to keep me from running out the door. The day went by so fast that by the time I was laying down in bed, I was wide awake. I wondered how Annie was doing, but kept trying to push the thought out of my mind. It was a ping pong battle of thoughts.

My door creaked open, and I saw Embry come in before closing the door behind him. He moved quietly, cautiously, and sat down on the side of my bed. "You were really quiet today." Was what he whispered, almost unsure if I was awake.

"I know." My voice came out hoarse, and I cleared my throat almost nervously.

"I know you're not okay." He was struggling with finding the right words. "I know that seeing that happen wasn't easy." I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything, just let the darkness fill up my ears. "Can I do anything?"

"No." I felt weak. Defeated by the events I felt responsible for and yet had no control over. Powerless by the wolf I hadn't known was a threat.

"Can I stay here with you?" It was tentative, a small probing at my thoughts.

"Yeah." He laid down beside me, his warmth touching me but not his skin. He stayed on top of the blanket, still unsure on how to proceed and how fast. He reached out to my shoulders. "The bruises healed well." To be honest I hadn't noticed, hadn't even looked recently.

"I guess they weren't as bad as they looked."

"They were, you just must be a good healer."

"Or I'm just stubborn." I was trying to make myself laugh, trying to make myself smile, but it was a lost effort on both our parts.

"I think I'd have to agree." Embry responded

"I saw the wolf." I said it suddenly, urgently. Ellie had been nudging my thoughts, urging me to confide in him. Embry was still, staring at me with dark eyes I could barely make out despite how he was so close his breath kissed my cheek.

"Okay."

"Annie and I were walking down the path, and we were joking around like always. Kyle was up ahead and I remember he turned around so fast with this look of panic on his face." A knot got caught in the middle of my throat, but I took a deep breath and kept going. I'd spent all day running from my thoughts, and to face them head on so quickly was aggressively jarring my already weakened heart. "And I didn't have any time to react."

"None of us would have." Embry responded, almost shuffling ever so slightly closer.

"He hit me so hard I flew over the side of the cliff." I didn't mention the voice in my head, afraid of admitting outloud this had somehow been my fault. "And I saw Annie trying to fight him. But he was so big. And Kyle had already been attacked before he could even do anything." Embry didn't say anything, let me marinate in my own process for a few more moments. "And then Annie was falling too." I didn't want to say the rest, didn't want to imagine her body falling towards rocks that only could mean one thing.

"I'm so sorry." Embry was reaching for me, pulling down the blankets, and I let him pull me into his chest. I couldn't cry. For whatever reason my body felt like it was being torn apart, but I couldn't feel the familiar prickle at the corners of my eyes.

"She's alive, right?" Embry was still, and I felt him take a deep sigh before nuzzling his face into my neck.

"She's alive, but she's not well."

"Will she die?" I moved my arms to hug him more tightly, so afraid of the answer I thought I might die myself.

"I don't know." We kept getting closer, until I felt completely wrapped up by him, completely enveloped by his smell and his warmth. "Her parents are coming in tomorrow. I thought you might want to go in then."

"Maybe." It scared me, to think of seeing Annie fighting for her life from a hospital bed. How her vibrant personality would have to fight for the most important thing from the blandest of places.

"How's Kyle?" Embry pulled back from me, only so he could talk without being so close I could read the words he said on my shoulder.

"Alive." Embry shrugged. "Fairly sedated is what Jacob said. A ridiculous amount of staples. But he's lucky."

"They aren't asking what happened?"

"They're asking." Embry shifted. "And he told them."

"Jacob?"

"Kyle. He refused pain meds for the better part of the day, gave a report to the police, was 'code white'ed by staff because he kept trying to see Annie." Embry had managed a smile, even though we both were too tired to laugh.

"I'll see him first I think." Before I saw her deathbed.

"She's still here, Neveah." Embry ran a hand through my hair. "There's no reason to give up on her yet." And just like that, I felt exhausted. Felt the weight of the world push on me until I couldn't stay awake any longer. I passed out in Embry's arms, fighting dreams of blood and claws.

—

He wasn't there when I woke up, just an empty cold spot beside me on the bed. I struggled to find the motivation to get out of bed, wondering if I could spend all day staying in the comfort of my comforter. But today was the day I was going to see Annie, after only a day of Embry keeping me away from there.

The house was quiet, but once I got down the stairs, I saw Seth napping on the couch. I debated between waking him, but didn't have to think long before Quil and Claire were coming through the door.

"I stopped by the shop and brought you breakfast!" She announced, which caused Seth to spring up from his post on the couch.

"Good watching." Quil responded, throwing him a folded package that Seth caught with one hand. Claire passed him his drink once he got closer and then pushed me into the kitchen.

"You slept in late." Seth took a seat beside me as Claire divided the breakfast between the four of us. "Embry left hours ago."

"Yeah." I still felt drained, still felt like I was walking on clouds.

"Oh come on, Nev." Seth moved his hand onto my shoulder. "Give me something witty."

"I can't think of anything." I hadn't really tried. The three of them were silent as he took his hand away from my shoulder, and I took a few more bites of the breakfast sandwich Claire had brought me.

"I went to the shop and it was slow, so I closed and brought you breakfast." Claire was trying her best to pretend that she wasn't being put out. But I knew she had never planned to stay open for the whole day, that how busy it was had nothing to do with it.

"Are you guys coming to the hospital?" I asked between bites.

"Well, we already went." Claire motioned between her and Quil. I paused, staring at them.

"You already got to go?"

"Jacob asked us to once Kyle had his episode." Quil crossed his arms and leaned back. "He's basically our brother."

"Anyway." Seth jumped in. "Embry will be here in about an hour if you wanted to take a shower."

"Okay." I put down my half-eaten bagel and stood up. Pausing I stared at the full coffee cup I hadn't touched. Despite my lack of appetite, I couldn't ignore my body's response to the lack of caffeine. "Guess I'll be having a shower coffee today."

"Better than nothing." I heard Seth say as I ascended the stairs.

—

The others were gone as I came down the stairs, my hair still stringy from the water. My jeans were tight against my thighs, a side effect of having too much sugar in my coffee's I assumed. I had been in the shower longer than I expected. The hot water had relieved the tension in my shoulders I hadn't recognized, and I'd stayed until the water lost its heat. If I was being really honest, I assumed it was both a relaxer and a time waster, an unconscious effort to avoid the hospital.

I sat at the table, in the quiet of Annie and Kyle's big house, and tried to piece together the mess of emotions I was feeling. I'd fought Embry so hard after the fall, convinced that I should be at Annie's side. It may have been the adrenaline, or it may have been from fear, but now I was feeling the opposite. I was avoiding it, I knew I had to go, but I couldn't bring myself to want to go. Was this me going through a grieving process? For someone who wasn't even dead?

"Hey." I hadn't heard him come in, so I jumped out of the chair at his voice. "Sorry." He took a few steps forward, confidently, and gave me a kiss on the forehead. It was a very couple-y thing to do, and although I didn't turn away, I felt a tinge of an emotion I didn't recognize. At the same time, I wanted him to do it, I wanted him to do more, but the thought of previous events prevented me from making the first move.

"I'm ready to go whenever."

"Okay, well, no time like the present." Embry was trying to be nonchalant, kept trying to make me feel better, but he didn't understand that there was only one thing that could make it better. It wasn't going to be a joke, or a smile, or even a hug. But I couldn't focus on how Embry wasn't being perfect, because I felt so much less than perfect. With a deep breath, I stepped out the door and took the steps to his vehicle.

When I finally took a seat in the car, I was starting to feel my chest crush. Embry got in, turned on the vehicle, and pulled out of the driveway. He was completely unaware I felt like I couldn't breathe. Soon, the hospital came into view and we ushered ourselves down the long windy halls. Jacob was standing by the door, arms crossed over his chest. He looked tired, withdrawn from the world around him as a nurse came out of the room he stood beside. He nodded at her, and she simply touched his arm briefly before wandering past. When Jacob looked up to see me, he only took two strides before he was enveloping me in a giant hug.

"Thank god you're okay." I flashed back to when he hadn't wanted me to see a doctor after Kyle pushed me, and how out of a character this must have been for him. It still felt nice, to be wanted here. "She gave him some pain meds, and nothing seems to sedate him anyway. We've managed to convince him to stay put but they've already told him to behave a couple times."

"They still want to send him home?" Embry questioned.

"Maybe, if he doesn't get an infection in the next couple days and he can demonstrate he knows how to clean the cuts."

"Expenses covered?" I asked, thinking of the money sitting in my bank account from my parents house sale.

"It's covered. We have that under control." Jacob was talking softly when he spoke to me, in comparison to the authoritative way he talked to Embry. "You can go in when you're ready." The truth was I wasn't ever going to be ready, but I had enough willpower to propel myself forward. I left Embry and Jacob outside the room, the door closing behind me. Kyle and I's eyes connected before I even had time to survey the room.

"Hey." He said. For a moment I imagined us on that walk, laughing, ogling Kyle. How strong he was, how safe we'd both felt, and how easily it had left. My eyes welled with tears, and Kyle held out his hand, an IV dangling from the tape on his wrist. I walked over, took his hand, and sat down on the chair. We didn't speak as the tears continued to fall down my cheeks. Bandages covered his torso, no blood in sight, but the area covered was huge.

"Are you okay?" I finally asked.

"Are you?" He responded, still holding my hand like it was a lifeline, but staring at the ceiling with intensity. "Are any of us?"

"I wish I had a better answer to that question besides no."

"Have you seen her?" He asked, still not looking at me.

"Not yet."

"Her parents came to see me already." He shook his head. "And I had nothing to tell them. Her dad was yelling at me, wanting to know why I hadn't protected her."

"But it wasn't your fault." It had been mine, and I couldn't bear for someone else to take the blame.

"In a way, it was." Kyle sounded defeated, a wounded animal with nowhere to hide. "I vowed to protect her and she's in here."

"That's not your fault. It was an accident."

"Say it a thousand times Neveah and it still won't be true." His gaze was soft when he turned to me, different than I'd expected. "It's more my fault than yours." I didn't speak to it, but he was wrong in more ways than he could imagine. The hospital wasn't as silent as his house, I could hear the steps and voices in the hallways.

"I'm fighting a losing battle." I finally admitted. "I keep trying to understand what happened and I can't find a reasonable response."

"There isn't a reasonable response. My beautiful wife is lying in a bed dying and I can't see her. You almost drowned. None of this is reasonable."

"But from a wild animal?" I couldn't help myself, but I felt manipulative. Felt like I was putting up a poker face when I held all the right cards.

"Neveah, don't." He turned to me. "You aren't stupid, and you aren't naive. I'm not going to spoon feed you the answers that don't matter in this moment." He was angry with me, angry at the situation, angry that he was here.

"Is she really dying?" I wanted him to lie to me.

"That's what her mom said." Kyle was the one with tears on his face now, his voice catching. "They don't know if she'll pull through. It's hard to tell if she's dying or just won't be able to recover."

"What happened once she fell?"

Kyle's face went neutral. "She hit the rocks, headfirst. Somehow, by the grace of god or some other spiritual being or just plain luck, she was still breathing when the paramedics got to her. It didn't last long. And now she's on life support." If I thought my world was crashing before, it was burning now.

"What happens now?"

"They test her brain." Kyle shrugged. "They figure out if she's braindead, if there's any chance for her." His tone was getting harsher. "And if she goes than I go too." It was then that I knew why Jacob was really at the hospital, to protect Kyle from himself.

Ellie popped into my head while my thoughts swirled frantically. "Mates feel compelled to be around each other. But for the wolf, it's a matter of sanity and insanity. He won't be able to live a normal life without her, let alone one he would want to say alive for." She faded away again, there as a source of information and less as a presence. I dropped Kyle's hands and stood up, feeling claustrophobic and nauseous. Turning to leave, Kyle reached out and grabbed my wrist.

"Neveah." He was broken. "Say hi to my love for me. Tell her I'll be there to say it myself soon?" We were all broken.

"I will. I promise." With a twist, I gave him a hug, careful to not put any pressure on his chest. But it was Kyle that pulled me into him, the tears wet against my shoulder. Big, beautiful, broken Kyle was so lost in emotion he couldn't register the pain I must've been causing him. In a moment, he let me go. Embry had opened the door to the room, but hadn't moved, his hand still on the doorknob.

"Come back soon?" Kyle asked me as he wiped at his face and I nodded, giving his hand a final squeeze before leaving.

"Why don't we get some coffee?" Jacob asked me, standing on my right while Embry stood to my left.

"Just water, please." And we walked off in a single line, ready to face both my biggest challenge and my biggest fear.


	12. Familiarity

The cafeteria was as normal as any cafeteria. There were visitors talking with patients, laughing at their sides. There were some hooked up to IV poles, brown bags or clear bags hanging from the hooks at the top. Jacob and Embry ordered me a coffee despite my protest, along with one of the soups. I suppose they hoped it would be curing for me in a way. Like my sadness was a cold that just needed time.

"How was Kyle?" Embry asked, sipping at his own coffee cup. A deep sigh was my only answer. Jacob was pensive, looking out the window beside us.

"He's hanging on." Jacob answered Embry's question. I took in the lines of his face, wondering how someone with such a heavy weight on their shoulders could look so young.

"He won't let me see him." Embry explained to me. "I don't really know why."

"It was the same with Quil and Claire." Jacob said. "Quil went in but Kyle wouldn't see Claire. I think it has something to do with couples and less to do with the individual."

"Why can't he go see Annie?" I asked. Jacob turned away from the window and took a deep drink of his caffeine before responding.

"It's a mix of he's on bedrest and that Annie's parents won't let us see her." It puzzled me.

"Why?" I couldn't help the quick sharp retort that came out of my mouth.

"They told me that we weren't family and she didn't need anymore visitors than that right now." Jacob shook his head. "I'm hoping they let you go in, so we can all know." I had a feeling there was more to the story than he was telling. More than just they wouldn't let them see her.

"I don't remember them being these kinds of people." I sipped at my coffee. Embry had moved closer to me, his shoulder touching mine. I felt the fingers resting on his knee twitching and made my own move when I grabbed his hand. He seemed less tense and even if it was only for a second, I was happy to provide the relief.

—

I saw Annie's parents before I saw her room. Her mother was sitting rigid, proper, shoulders back. Her dad was standing by the door, reading something on his cellphone. When they heard me drawing nearer Annie's mother was the first to greet me.

"Neveah!" Her hug was warm and I was hit with a childhood nostalgia I'd forgotten about. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." My throat felt tight. "How's Annie?"

"She's doing better than expected." Her mother appeared upbeat, and I had a hard time understanding how she could be like that in this kind of situation.

"Isn't she on life support?" I was imagining tubes, wires criss crossing the floor from all the different pumps and machines.

"Oh." Annie's mother rubbed my upper arms, almost out of nervousness with a twinge of comfort. "You've talked to Kyle?"

"Yeah, why does he think she's dying?"

"I thought it might be better for him and her recovery if he wasn't trying to fight his way to her room." I felt a frozen tingling come up through my toes.

"So, you lied to him?"

"I didn't lie. He just interpreted it a certain way." She shrugged. I hadn't asked Annie how her parents had felt about Kyle, but when I think about it, she hadn't ever mentioned them. Before she'd left home they'd been close, but traveling had made Annie not only more rebellious but also more independent.

"Can I see her?" It was the only question I really needed an answer to.

"Of course." It was her dad that wrapped an arm around my shoulders and ushered me in. There were tubes, as I'd expected, but no huge machines. Her face was bruised but still intact. I thought she'd be unrecognizable and now that I could see her I couldn't stop crying again.

"Annie." I rushed over to her bed and grabbed her hand, the lifeless appendage showing no resistance.

"She hasn't woken up yet." It was just Annie's dad and I in the room, and he sat on the other side of her bed to watch me. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her, couldn't think of a word to say. "She's breathing on her own, but they can't figure out exactly what's going on in her brain. She had surgery yesterday due to internal bleeding they found, and she has a chest tube hooked up because one of her lungs collapsed." I didn't even care, I just cared that there was a chance, that she wasn't dependantly on machines.

"What's the plan?" I managed the sentence, barely able to force my lips open.

"They're doing some more tests, just watching her for now." He reached across to place his hand on mine that was holding Annies. "I have hope."

"Why did you tell that stuff to Kyle?" Her dads face darkened, if only for a moment.

"I wasn't there, so I don't know what was said." I had a thought for a moment that he wasn't going to agree with what happened, that it hadn't been his idea. "But we did it for our daughter."

"But he loves her." I didn't understand. Despite my fears, he had never done anything to Annie.

"Yes, he loves her so much that she managed to fall off a cliff." He was getting angry, but I wanted to understand.

"He was injured as well."

"It doesn't matter." His eyes met mine. "If she had never met him and moved her this wouldn't have happened." It was irrational, something I never thought I'd say about the man across the table from me.

"But she's happy."

"Happy? With all those men that convinced her not to come home?" He snorted. "She would've been a highly educated, gorgeous girl with a bright future if she hadn't met him. Instead of a mechanics shop manager lying in a hospital bed." His anger surprised me. I hadn't known they'd felt that way about the boys, that they'd felt that way about Annie not going to university right away. She must've hid it from me, must not have wanted me to know. I moved a strand of hair from her face, felt relief that it was warm.

"I just don't see it that way."

"I don't need you telling me what's best for my child."

"Your adult child. She'd want to see him." Her dad was quiet for a moment, simply staring at me with eyes that only seemed to darken.

"I've known you for almost as long as I've known my daughter." He started, standing up, using his height to tower over me from the other side of the bed. "You're as close to a second daughter as I'll ever have, but I won't have you telling me what to do. And I won't have you telling me what's best for Annie."

"I'm not trying-."

"Neveah-" He interrupted me. "I knew your dad and he would be as equally disappointed in you as I am in Annie if you stay here with those men. Defending them like this is ignorant of you."

"You don't have a clue what my dad would want." The room was getting colder by the minute. "I don't understand what they've done to you."

"They took my daughters future." I was surprised when tears fell down his face. "They took her so far away from me I wasn't able to see her. She told me not to come see her and when I finally do she's lying here." I remembered not seeing him in the wedding videos, but it wasn't as though his absence stood out. It wasn't like Annie to exclude someone for no reason, especially her parents.

"I just want her to get better." I didn't know what to say. Annie's hand was limp in my own.

"Don't become another one of my enemies. Annie needs you." He said, "But this conversation has pushed me into asking you to leave." I didn't argue, didn't even say a word. I gave Annie's hand a final squeeze and walked to the door. I paused when my hand was on the handle, wondering what to say, if anything I said could change what he was thinking, Instead, I left the room and didn't say another word. Annie's mom wasn't outside, so I walked back towards Kyle's room.

"Hey." Jacob stood up to greet me. "How is she?"

"I'm not sure." I said, still trying to piece together a response that would say everything and yet not tell them the true intention of the obviously grief-stricken parents. I tried to tell myself it was the loss that was making them sound this way. It was the potent reality of their daughter standing in front of death's door.

"Embrys just outside waiting for you." Jacob said, laying both hands on my shoulder. "I have a favour to ask you before you go to meet him."

"Okay?" I asked, unsure if I could even keep a promise at this point.

"Let him be protective." Jacob squeezed my shoulders ever so slightly. "Let him coddle you for a bit, if only to ease the insanity." Jacob laughed a little bit, almost at his own joke.

"Jacob, am I Embry's imprint?" He stopped laughing, took a moment to think.

"Yeah."

"You're not gonna ask me how I know that?"

"You'll tell me when the time is right." He said, "Besides the fact I think Embry deserves the answer first."

—

When I went outside to see him, Embry was sitting on a bench to the right of the front door. He was leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees, hands covering his face. In that moment, I was able to survey the giant man as a human for a moment. The vulnerability was still there in his posture. I had known about the wolf inside of him and had been keeping him at a safe distance, close enough but still far. I wondered what it would be like, to accept him for what I needed and not for what was being forced upon me. I sat down gingerly beside him, and without a word moved his arm so I could lay my head on his shoulder. Without skipping a beat he was moving, and I was in his lap, legs across his, my forehead snuggled into the crook of his neck. One of his hands was on my back, the other wrapped against my outside thigh.

"Are you okay?" He asked me, softly,

"I think so." In that moment I felt fine, felt perfect. I felt unjudged by the cars driving by, or the people who paused a look in our direction. I felt grounded, less light-headed when he was around me. His arms were where I wanted to be all the time.

"I think you need some coffee." He chuckled against my hair. "You're falling asleep."

"That would explain my headache." I had to force myself out of his arms. "Let's make it a date." His lips curled into a smirk.

"Aren't I supposed to be the one asking you out?"

"You did; I was just clarifying." I responded. He reached out his hand to take mine and led me to his truck.

"Where to?"

"Anywhere." I responded. I put the thought of Annie in the hospital out of my head, put the idea of who had done it to the sideline for the moment. All I wanted was a light meal with a nice boy, and just to feel normal one time.

"I have another lesson for you." Ellie was back, and she sounded weak. "Tonight. Alone." She slipped away again and I couldn't imagine what it could be.

"The cafe is still closed." Embry crossed his arms over his chest and settled back into his seat, giving me more time to stare at his muscled arms.

"There has to be somewhere else in town." I said, "It can't be this hard."

"To be honest, I don't get out that much." Embry said. "I know my way around, I just don't know a whole lot of places all that well."

"Here." I took out my cellphone and popped up a search engine. "I'll try this then. What food do you like to eat?"

"Literally anything." He responded, leaning over to stare at my screen. I felt so normal in that moment I was unsteady, prepared to fall again.


	13. Being Present

Embry was lightly snoring as I stared up at him from my place on his lap. One of his hands was still tangled into the strands of my hair, where they'd previously been soothing my shaky nerves. Embry had eaten himself silly at a little Vietnamese restaurant we'd found one town over. The ride had been filled with jokes and stories. He didn't ask me about the imprint thing, he didn't push about how Annie was, he was just present in the moment with me. I wanted to be with him, living in the moment with him, but I felt like I was watching myself experience it. As though by being there but not being present I could soothe myself into a feeling of belonging.

When I stared at him, it was like my world was less chaotic. His head was lolled forward onto his chest, his breath almost disappearing before it hit my forehead, just the whisper of a kiss against my skin. He made me feel my world was changing for the better, as though just by being around him I would be okay. I wondered how much of it was the imprint pull, and how much of it was our real compatibility. I was afraid to move, afraid it would wake him up and he'd ask me if I was okay, and the breakdown of reality would happen all over again. I reached up to place a hand against the side of his face and he pushed his face further into my palm as my thumb grazed his cheek.

If this moment felt like a dream, then the hospital must've been a nightmare. However, I wish I was still there, still holding Annie's hand. I regretted not revelling in her more. I regretted not allowing myself to feel her in the past few months, in not allowing myself to tell her all the secrets I'd planned to. I wish I'd felt more in the warmth of her hand when she passed me a coffee, or when she laughed and she'd hit my knee instead of her own. Without her here with me, I was remembering all the little quirks I hadn't even noticed before.

The back door closed sharply, and Embry was startled awake. He stood up suddenly, moving my head off his lap without me even being able to see it happen. It took him a breath before he rubbed his temples with his hand. I moved to my knees on the couch, and wrapped my arms around his waist . My head was still below his shoulders, but I rested my ear against his back to hear his heartbeat. He sat down, slowly, his hands resting overtop of mine as he settled between my bent knees. I let the warmth I'd become so accustomed to sink into my chest, warming the heart I wasn't sure was still beating. I tried to let him bring me back from the numbness I felt all over my body as his fingers ghosted along my arms.

"Sorry." Was all he said, in a half-asleep yawn. He moved a hand of mine to his mouth and gave it a light kiss. I hadn't imagined this scenario, after the day I'd been through. But it had been perfect.

"Guys?" Quil's voice resonated throughout the house and Embry sighed deeply. He held my hand up to his face for a moment before standing up and releasing himself from my embrace.

"Yeah, We're in the living room." Embry's response wasn't the yell that Quil's had been, but I assumed they must've had the superior hearing to hear each other at that low of a sound. I blinked slowly for a moment as I quickly tried to read the mind of the other wolf in the house.

 _Damnit we can't find him anywhere. It's like he disappeared. No one can catch his scent at all. At least I'm telling Embry instead of the one to tell Jacob, that's a relief._

"Why don't you go upstairs and… freshen up for a few minutes." Embry said, but so gently I knew it wasn't an insult. His hand tangled into my hair again, and he bent down on one knee to lay a kiss on my forehead. His touch was gentle, timid. I wondered how much he'd worried before he'd gotten to the beach and found me, how much of a relief it had been to see me alive. How much it had torn him apart to know he hadn't been there. I'd like to think I knew Embry, at least had an insight into the imprinting factor, and knew it couldn't have been easy for him.

"Thanks." I whispered, letting him pull me up from the couch. Moving past him and up the stairs, my muscles protesting the movement as well as the lack of heat, it took only a second of thought before Ellie popped in.

"Okay perfect!" She said, "Now's a great time! Why don't you hop in the shower while we talk?" It was a good idea, and I didn't argue as I quickly gathered my things for the shower. Once there, Ellie started another lecture.

"Two really easy lessons today! Well, one easy and one slightly less easy."

"Okay." I murmured, afraid the boys downstairs would hear me. "Lay it on me."

"First one: Scent Secret."

"Are these actually names or did you make them up?"

"Irrelevant." Ellie was pouting. "Anyway, You can turn off your scent, simply by thinking about it. Really good for sneak attacks, but important to remember that the lack of scent is almost just as easy to track as having one."

"So, if I were to do it now…?"

"They definitely would be able to tell immediately. Embry is keeping tabs on you right now, I'm sure." Ellie was matter-of-fact, but also very smug. "So don't practice here just yet."

"Okay so, how many is that now?" I squinted at the streams of water in front of my face.

Mental List:

Lesson one: Read Minds of Wolves

Lesson two: Alpha Command Wolves

Lesson three: Obscure Scent

"Have we really only done two?" I asked, taking a luffa from the shelf in the shower.

"Technically you can inject your thoughts as well, but we haven't actually tried that yet. Anyway, now you can add this scent one. And the next one is, uh," She stammered. "I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell you quite yet, but it seems important."

"Okay?"

"You can sever the bond between imprints." I stilled and forgot how to breathe for a moment.

"Why would I ever have to do that?" I asked, forgetting to keep my voice low.

"Shhhhhhhhh!" Ellie was flustered. "Look there's a number of reasons that range from temporary to permanent. Permanent being for more obvious reasons such as an imprint refuses to accept the other, which is extremely rare and should only be used as a last ditch effort." She'd stopped, almost ending her sentence.

"Of if one dies." Flat, I felt deflated.

"Or that." She whispered. I turned the water up in the shower to try and erase the cold chill that was racing from my heart to my fingertips and toes. "But also more likely are the temporary reasons. You see, when an Imprint is in danger the wolf goes completely into protective mode. It can be good and bad. They fight through everything, even great injury, to save the imprint, but…." She took a deep breath. "It can also be the death of that same imprint. Some enemies can be surprised by strength, but others suspect it, and aren't above the emotional torture of having one die before the wolf's eyes because that wolf won't calm down."

"Why this lesson? Why now?" I asked.

"I think we both know it's fairly obvious that wolf is after you." She responded. "Embry is a strong beautiful wolf, but he is not above the insanity of trying to reach you if they do get their hands on you."

"So for my safety?"

"And those around you." She finished and then shifted. "It's a hard thing to visualize, so we're going to practice seeing the strings later."

"There are actually physical strings?" A thought popped into my head. "Does that mean I can see potential imprints too?"

"Not exactly." She said. "The strings come after the imprint occurs. But anyway. They aren't physical strings, more like spiritual ones. And they can only be touched by you."

"Okay. Do I have to physically cut them?"

"Depends. We'll go into that later. I think this shower is getting a little too long." She disappeared from my conscious mind and I knew she was avoiding certain questions I wanted to ask. She'd seen Annie, but hadn't given me an inkling of her own feelings about it. I turned off the water in the shower and stood for a moment with the water beading off my body. Letting the cold air permeate the drops and make my skin feel both too warm and too cold.

I hadn't known her to hide her feelings the way she had been in this conversation. I hadn't known her to be so secretive about her intentions. I wondered what other tricks she had, what other things she had to teach me before she left me.

"Neveah?" Embry was at the door, knocking tentatively. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." It was meek, unlike me. A week ago, I could never have suspected that this would happen. Could never have imagined that my friend would be dying in the hospital, and I had the power to save her husband from insanity but only by removing her from his thoughts.

"There's coffee downstairs." Despite my foul mood, I felt my limbs moving. Felt myself dry off and pull on a pair of loose sweatpants and a tank top. Saw myself open the door to see Embry on the other side, eyes downcast to meet mine almost directly. He was worried. I saw it in the lines of his face and the way his eyes moved only slightly to scan me. I moved past him, meaning to have him follow me downstairs. His hand clamped around my wrist and he was pulling me into him, then pushing me against the wall. His lips grazed mine before he moved to nuzzle and kiss down my neck, his hands wandering with purpose. I barely recognized my surroundings, letting him distract me. Allowing myself to focus on his skin against mine as a hand snaked under the top I wore, wondering if he'd get far enough to realize I was only wearing the two pieces of clothing he could see. His lips were languidly moving down my neck, almost as if he was holding himself back.

I'd waited so long for a feeling like this. I'd waited so long just to feel as though someone loved me. I had felt alone in a giant world. Even with Annie, who loved me as much as a friend could, it wasn't what I'd been searching for. Had it been this man driving me here? I wanted to give him everything he wanted, when I barely had it in me to allow myself to accept everything I needed. With a determination, and an unimaginable strength, I pushed Embry across the hall so his back was against the wall. I brought my face up to his, cradling it in my hands, wanting to be gentle. But when he pushed back against me and that clenching rose from my lower stomach up to my chest, I couldn't contain my emotion any longer. I tugged at the corner of his shirt and he ripped it off without a second thought. I grabbed some of his hair and pulled his head back, feeling the growl in his throat reverberate into his chest while my lips found the harsh line of his jaw. He balanced me with his hands on my hips as I stood on my tiptoes to kiss and lick my way down to the curve of his shoulder, allowed my free hand to splay across the tight abs of his stomach. In response, before I could make it to his collarbone, his arms were picking me up around my thighs.

Again, we flung across the hallway, my back once again pressed to the wall beside the bathroom door. His hands had wrapped my legs around his waist, strong and big. And we were locked by the lips, intensely tasting each other as the minutes ticked by without us noticing. We hadn't gotten this hot and heavy since back at his house that last time. I didn't know how I'd kept away, how I'd managed to resist the urge to keep away from this addictive feeling.

"Neveah." Embry whispered against my cheek as he paused his passionate assault, breathing laboured in anticipation. "God, you're beautiful." I tried to speak and couldn't, barely managing my own breathing properly. He was softer now, despite how there wasn't any space between our bodies, despite how I was burning for him.

"Guys? Hey, what's - why." Quil had covered his eyes. "Seriously, why? You know I'm here." I still felt breathless, unable to speak. Embry was growling and Quil peeked through his eyes when he heard it.

"Dont look." Embry hissed, turning me so Quil could see less of me. "I should be asking you why you came up here."

"Oh sorry I wasn't on the lookout for makeout paradise in the hallway." Quil was backing up though, moving back towards the stairs. "But my main reason, can I eat those leftovers in the fridge?"

"What?" I asked, finally clueing back in to what was going on. Embry was holding me up by my thighs, legs still wrapped around his waist, the growl vibrating in his chest still.

"You came up here to ask if you could eat?" Embry's voice was raspy.

"Go ahead." I said, peeking over Embry's shoulder. Quil disappeared quickly, having his answer. Embry let me down to the floor, his hands still holding me in place. He reached down to lay a gently kiss on my lips and sighed before moving to put his shirt back on. I almost whined myself at the disappearance of his skin.

"Let's get you some food too." Embry led me downstairs to the kitchen, having me sit down before laying a cup of coffee into my line of vision. I graciously accepted, loving the explosion of taste against my throat.

"You're gonna be late, man." Quil offhandedly mentioned before he took another bite of the leftover chow mein. "Jacob won't be happy."

"Jacob can wait a few minutes." Embry replied back, looking through the fridge. "He'll understand."

"I really don't think he'll understand when he _sees_ why you were late." Quil smirked and Embry stilled. "You forgot didn't you? After all these years."

"Forgot what?" I asked, reaching a hand out to pull on an escaped noodle from Quil's plate.

"Nothing." Embry grumbled, finding some coconut shrimp in the freezer and placing them on the counter before pre-heating the oven. "Promise me you'll heat these up and eat them?"

"Well, of course. Who would let good shrimp go to waste?" I smiled at him, trying to ease his mind. It wasn't working, by the way his frown set deeper into his face. I turned to Quil, away from the centrepiece of my thoughts. "Why are you here anyway?"

"I wanted to see you." Quil remarked. "Can't a friend come see another friend?"

"Sure. Usually they call first, but hey." I brought the mug up to my lips. The conversation felt normal, easy.

"Not like you would've answered the phone anyway." Quil raised an eyebrow. "Your mouth seemed pre-occupied."

"In all fairness, you were already here when that happened." I pointed out.

"Yeah. You know, friends don't let friends walk in on friends making out." Quil leaned back in his chair, his plate now empty in front of him.

"Friends also don't walk in on friends and ruin things."

" _Friendly_ things." Quil emphasized.

"Stop." Embry walked over, once again leaning down to kiss me on the cheek this time. "I have to go, _friends._ Maybe you guys can act normal when I come back?"

"Doubt it." I replied, "Look at him!" Embry just smiled and squeezed my shoulder before heading out the door, leaving Quil and I alone.

"Claire's coming over to, you know." Quil told me.

"Good, someone who is finally on my side."

"She's my girlfriend."

"Yeah, but she's one of my girls." I pointed at him and he blinked once, twice and then groaned. I leaned back, crossing my arms over my chest. I was trying to remember how to be me, and I couldn't tell who was seeing through my facade.


	14. Honesty

Quil was sitting in a chair, begrudgingly watching the TV show Claire and I had picked out. The recapflashed on the screen, and I shook my head at the decision of last episode. We'd been watching for the better part of three hours and were betting on who was going to win overall.

"She totally should've won that dance off." I said,

"Yeah, but her look was just so - ugh." Claire tilted her head to the side, "I mean look at those paper plates just stapled to it."

The winner of the dance-off I was referring to appeared on screen and I threw popcorn in her direction. "Booooooooo, go home." Claire grabbed the popcorn bowl from me.

"Hey, don't waste food." She munched on a handful of the cheesy popcorn. "I worked hard for this you know."

"It's like three dollars." I said, taking a few and throwing it at Quil, who was as still and as happy as a stone gargoyle, his eyes wide at the TV.

"Doesn't mean I didn't work for it!" She said, holding the bowl even further from me. I pouted as I settled back into the couch. Claire had come over quickly once Embry left. Quil had asked what we wanted to do, and both of us were so tired and emotionally drained that there was only one cure: trashy TV.

"Let's do something else." I sighed, not getting the enjoyment out of the show that I normally did.

"We could watch a movie?" Claire offered and I shrugged, not too pleased at the idea of staying inside for that much longer. I knew they were trying to keep me in the house, for a reason I assumed had to deal with the homicidal wolf running amok.

"Maybe I should just get some sleep." I sighed, seeing the clock blare ten to midnight into my brain.

"I mean, that would be smart." Quil perked up at the mention. I narrowed my eyes.

"You just want to have some _aalllloooonnneeee_ time." I sang to him and he grinned at me mischievously.

"Have to wait for the children to go to bed." He stated matter-of-factly, looking pointedly at me.

"I'm not a child!" I shouted, mock angry.

"Well, I'm babysitting you like one!"

"You're welcome to leave." I responded, puffing out my cheeks.

"Now, now." Claire patted my arm. "Seth is coming at like 2am or something, and then we'll be out of your hair."

"Why is everyone coming here tonight?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.

"We just love you." Claire stated. "All Seth talks about is the nap he got with you."

"Much to Embry's dismay." Quil grinned. "He chased that guy around for an hour when he first found out." The image caused me to giggle and Claire just shook her head, a gentle smile on your face.

"How did he even find out?"

"Jacob told him." Quil's smile got brighter and he leaned in. "Seth literally said 'oh, maybe don't tell Embry just yet' and then as soon as Embry and Seth were three feet from each other BAM Jacob let the secret out."

"What a guy." I said, standing up and yawning, stretching my arms far above my head. Claire wished me good night as I left them and the silence that enveloped me as I entered my room calmed the frustration that was rising in me. I found it hard to get mad at everyone; they were only trying to protect me. I still felt like a caged animal though.

I laid in bed for what seemed like hours, before I gave up and flicked my light on. I settled in to read my book, hoping it may lull me to sleep. I was brought out of the story by my bedroom door opening, revealing a haggard looking Seth at the door. He waved, "Hey."

"Hey, buddy, you look- uh." He moved to sit down on the floor cross-legged across from me, for once making me feel like the tall one.

"Tired?"

"I was gonna say like garbage." I nodded, "But tired works."

"Thanks, Nev." Seth rubbed his forehead, finishing by moving a hand through his hair. His expression was a grimace, very unusual for the young-looking wolf.

"Seth?" I asked, turning to him as I forgot about my book. "What's wrong?"

"I had this strange feeling…" Seth said, "On my way over here, and I just feel like I hurried for no reason." I blinked at him.

"I'm fine, Seth, you can see that." Trying to soothe him with words, something in the back of my mind told me this was not mostly about me.

"He can smell that wolf." Ellie popped in again. "I can sense him close by. It's probably making him wary." I could see her rub the back of her head in my mind. "Now that you're slowly getting better at this Alpha thing, all the wolves of the pack you belong to might become overprotective of you , not just Embry. Although, he'll always be the worst." She laughed at the end, clearly still uncomfortable about something.

"I thought that last time." He was troubled, even his voice was a bit lost. "And then they didn't make it. We chased that guy left and right, up and down, all over the place and still I can't find him."

"Seth, you have to sleep at some point." He sighed, a deep sigh that shook his body. His shoulders relaxed after and he let himself fall back so he was spread out in the middle of my bedroom

"Yeah, well, not for awhile still."

"Naw." I smirked. "Best friend sleepover time?" He didn't say anything for a bit, obviously mulling over the idea.

"I'm not sleeping while I'm watching you."

"Oh, c'mon! You did last time!" I exclaimed as he stood up, stretching his arms far above him.

"That was totally different." He made me want to pull away, to sink into myself and listen to the assertive tone of his voice. He looked bigger than last time I'd seen him. His shoulders seemed broader, he seemed taller, and he seemed older. When he spoke, it tore me from my thoughts. "I just can't." He shook his head, looking away from me.

"Do you want a coffee then?" His gaze tore up to me.

"At least one of us should probably get some sleep." He murmured, a yawn finally tearing from his lips.

"I got decaf downstairs." I jumped off the nook I was reading on, "Just this once, for you, okay? I can't sleep anyway." He followed me to the kitchen, more obediently than I'd come to expect from the wolf-pack boys, and sat at the kitchen table, his arms crossed over his chest.

"So," I said, leaning my back against the counter as the coffee brewed behind me. "Care to explain why you're watching me?"

"C'mon." He groaned. "You know why."

"No, I don't." I crossed my arms, unsure as to his intentions.

"Look." He leaned forward onto his elbows. "We all know you somehow have some clue as to what an imprint is, and that you know you're Embry's. No one else has had a chance to pick your brain. So instead of you asking questions, can I ask some?"

"Why do you think I'll give you answers when you never give me any?" I shot back defensively, more snappy than I would've preferred.

"I'm under the assumption I know more answers than you do." Seth responded, still not moving and staring at me through his dark-circled eyes. "So I have more to lose. By offering you this kind of deal, don't you think you have more to gain?"

Ellie huffed her cheeks out. "No way, he knows we know more than he thinks we do." Which was a confusing sentence to say even if it was true.

"You obviously think I know something." I retorted, moving to the fridge to grab the milk and hoping to calm the shaking starting in my hands.

"Sure, but I don't suspect much." Seth said.

"Seth-"

"You don't have to take the deal." He sighed, leaning back in the chair. "We can just both go on with either side not knowing what the other knows."

"Fine." I slammed the fridge door shut as the coffee machine buzzed to tell me it had stopped. I poured the two mugs full and brought them, plus milk and sugar to the table. "I'll bite. But I won't answer anything I don't want to."

"That's not how it works." Seth took the mug from me, adding in a dash of milk. "You don't answer mine, I don't answer yours. I'm not gonna ask anything crazy."

"I don't like this." Ellie still had her cheeks puffed out. "I don't think you should."

"Deal." I said, reaching a hand forward for him to shake. He took it and then took a long sip of his coffee. We both sat in his silence for a moment as Seth mulled over what to say, his face carefully blank.

"Do you think that you, Annie, and Kyle were attacked by a wild animal?"

"No." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Why?"

"Wild animals don't strategize. Why go after the group of two when they could've gone after the one. Besides the fact it was huge." I took a long sip of my coffee as well, the silence of the kitchen becoming ever more present.

"Do you know what it was?"

"Yes." I stated, starting to feel uneasy. How do I tell him I knew that they were werewolves. As if remembering, I quickly tried to read his mind: _How do I find out how much she knows without making her back off? I told Embry I'd try to get her to open up, but how much do I really want to know? She must know something… but how much could she possibly know about werewolves without any of us telling her?_

"I read a book upstairs." Without thinking, I responded to the question in his thoughts. Without much choice, I continued on. "About these myths of… werewolves." To his credit, he didn't flinch or look surprised. "I thought, maybe, but that seems so…. "

"Surreal?"

"Just unreal." I looked away from him for the moment.

 _So, she knows something. I don't think a book could tell her about imprints though. But knowing she has suspicions about werewolves is good._

Ellie was getting more nervous. "Please be careful." If he asked me about the imprint, I don't know how I would be able to get around it. "Them knowing how you know is dangerous for them and for you with that other wolf on the loose."

"Have you ever heard of… a Free Alpha?" Seth's gaze caught mine, keeping it locked to his. My heart skipped a beat, and I knew my face gave away my surprise at the question.

 _She can't be…._

"You mean, like the Alpha of a pack of animals?"

"No." He drew the word out, long and slow as if he couldn't figure out the next words to say. "Like a Free Alpha."

 _You don't have a reaction like that unless you know what that is, but if it's her, how do we protect her from that? It would make sense, Embry said she Alpha commanded him, and that's something none of the other imprints could do. But…._

"I'm sorry Seth, I-" I shook my head. "It sounds so familiar, but I just don't know how." His shoulders slumped, almost as if in relief. My heart hurt from the denial, from the dishonesty that was floating off of my skin, but Seth obviously wanted it not to be true so bad he was willing to listen to my lie.

 _What a relief. She wouldn't have lied to me, that's unlike her. Or am I being naive? It doesn't matter. I have to take her at face value, if I can't even do that how can I even begin to unravel all of this? It's messed up I had to do this. With Embry in second-in-command he doesn't have the time with patrols, but this is brutal. He would have it so much easier. Her reaction to that statement was odd, but I trust her._

God, I felt like I was being stabbed.

"My turn?" I asked.

"Not yet." He breathed out, "Jacob said you were Embry's imprint, that you asked. How did yo-"

"Seth!" Quil had bumbled through the door, pulling Clare in behind him. The thoughts in my head were screaming, I couldn't decipher between them. I winced, trying to turn them off.

 _Found him, need backup. Get Seth. Have Claire with Neveah. Keep safe._

"Now?" Seth growled, standing.

"Now." Quil gave Claire a quick kiss and then they were both gone. I stared after him, dumbfounded.

"Hey! I didn't get my turn!" I yelled at the door that had already shut three breaths earlier.

"Oh man." Claire yawned. "Can you believe this? Men." Claire sat down and started to drink the coffee that Seth had left, before her face scrunched up and she added more sugar to the liquid.

"What…." I facepalmed, unable to resist the reaction.

"Couldn't sleep, huh?" Claire asked me, finally satisfied with the sweetness level of Seth's coffee.

"You could say that." I sighed, absentmindedly swishing my half empty cup. The kitchen felt stifling, as if Claire and I didn't know how to be alone with each other, despite the amount of time we'd spent together. Claire turned on music quietly from her phone and I found myself tapping my foot in rhythm. "Can I ask you something?" I spoke suddenly, my voice catching.

"Sure." Claire said.

"I don't want you to get offended."

She smiled at me. "What could you possibly be thinking about? Go ahead, Nev, I'm not the one who bites."

"You and Quil's age gap…." I bit my own lip when the side of hers twitched.

"Yes?"

"I don't know. Is it a lot or am I just completely an idiot?"

"Does it matter?" She didn't seem mad, but I felt out of place asking, despite my curiosity.

"I guess it doesn't." I downed the rest of my coffee. "I was just curious how you found each other, you both seem so busy and he doesn't seem like the sort of coffee addict that I am."

"He's not." She sighed. "We didn't meet in this town though."

"Back from?"

"We met back in La Push." She was shifting in her seat, and I felt like she was trying to edit her story as we went along. "If you want to be technical, I'm 10 years older than him right now."

"Ten isn't so bad." Her lip twitched into a smile I didn't understand.

"It isn't." She agreed. "Not that I would care. We could be thirty years apart and I'd love him just as much."

"I mean, you're so pretty you could land anybody at any age anyway." I said, my tired brain making me feel more bold.

"You as well." She lifted her cup to me. "Annie too."

"Okay." I scoffed. "I agree with Annie. I would hope I could catch something."

"Like some big hunk whose name starts with an E?" I blushed and looked away, unable to respond when flashes of us from earlier ran through my mind.

"You know." Her voice brought my gaze back. "There's way more to this story of mine." Her eyes were glinting. "But I can only tell you if you tell me what you know."

"Why are people so interested in what I know all of a sudden? No one cared before."

"Personally," Claire grabbed the mugs as she spoke and walked over to the counter to pour more coffee, her ponytail bouncing as she walked. "I think they underestimated you."

"You think so?" I leaned my cheek into my palm.

"I do. You're smarter than they believed. And now, they're paying the price for not being forthcoming by getting the same treatment. You have a right to be upset. However, I'm curious myself."

"You'll just tell them." I stuck my tongue out in jest. "They'll know right away."

"Yeah right." Claire was laughing, "They underestimate me too. They knew me from when I was super young so they treat me like a little kid sometimes, despite the beautiful entrepreneur that I am."

"From when you were young?" Claire froze. "Aren't you the older one?" Claire didn't say anything, not even moving. I could almost see her thoughts moving a mile a minute.

"Uhm." Ellie came in, "So…. How do I say this? When wolves change all the time they don't age. So, she's as old as she should be, and they aren't."

"So…. He's actually older than you are?" I was amazed, trying to figure it out. Were they actually decades older than Claire was?

"Well." Claire was uncomfortable, placing my mug back in front of me. "Can I plead the fifth?"

"No."

"Ahhhahah, well." She sat down and didn't speak again. Biting the side of her lips as she stared at her own full mug of coffee.

"No one's gonna butt in this time." I said, my eyes staring her down. "C'mon, give me something."

"I don't know how without telling you everything."

"I already know everything!" I stood up, slamming my hands down on the table. I knew it all, and even if they didn't know it, I couldn't stand to be treated like I knew nothing anymore. "I know they're werewolves okay!" In the silence that followed, I realized my mistake, my face paling.

"That's good." Claire took a sip of her coffee calmly, the complete opposite reaction to what my own heart was doing.

"It is?" I responded weakly, my legs already numb.

"Let's keep a secret from the boys." She leaned forward. "I'll be your confidant while Annie is away."

"Okay?" I asked weakly. Ellie was fuming in my head, pacing so hard it was giving me a headache, muttering 'stupid human' over and over again.

"So, Quil told me you alpha commanded Embry! How did you do it! You have to teach me, Quil drags me everywhere due to this whole 'Free Alpha' thing and I can't ever do anything!" Claire was rambling, her face expressively happy. I realized how she must've missed talking to someone who knew the secret, with Annie being just as absent from her life as she had been from mine.

"Claire…" I reached over to place my hand around hers, Ellie trying to take control of my limbs and my thoughts as I did. She stopped talking, staring at me in curiosity.

"I'm the Free Alpha."


	15. The Test

"You're an idiot." I could see Ellie in the back of my head, sitting cross-legged on the floor of my mind, leaning forward with her head in her hands. "I can't believe I put my faith in such an idiot." Claire was having a somewhat similar reaction in front of me, her face stopped in between smiling and horrified. I was holding her hands on the table for what felt like the fifteenth minute.

"Claire?" I said meekly. "Are you there?"

"Yeah." She said, still staring at me. "I'm here, dream Neveah."

"No, it's real Neveah, remember?"

"Right, this is real." But she was shaking her head no, as if she didn't believe the words that were coming out of her own mouth. "Real life." I pulled my hands from hers and sipped at my cold coffee. Ellie was fuming in my mind, although I still didn't understand why I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. She sputtered, unable to comprehend my thought process. It was giving me a headache, my eye twitching in protest.

"Claire." I coughed, my throat somehow dry. "I need something from you."

"You're the free Alpha." I nodded, letting it slide that she was ignoring half my words.

"But." She was coming around now. "Why would he try to kill you?"

"That werewolf?" She nodded and then her eyes widened.

"Wait, you knew that was a werewolf!" She stood up, her hands slapping down onto the table.

"Yeah, I've met him before."

"You met him before!?" She stopped and brought her hands to her cheeks, that were reddening by the second. "I can't believe this. So you know everything?"

"I mean, maybe everything was an exaggeration?" I ventured, my fingers nervously thrumming against the table. "I know a lot?"

"Okay." Claire sat down, her attention now focused on me. "So you've met… "

"Ethan." I gave the name.

"Ethan." She squeaked. The redness that had flooded her cheeks earlier had left, and now she was slowly turning pale. "Ethan is not someone you should've met by yourself."

"He didn't seem so bad at the time…" But he'd pushed Annie off a cliff and left Kyle with deep wounds on his chest. It was the actions of a bad guy, a villain of a story.

"He's the baddest." She leaned forward, grabbing my hands. "Please, if you see him again, run the other direction."

"Why?" I asked. Claire was staring at me earnestly, and the question brought a deep sigh from somewhere within her chest.

"I guess he hasn't told you the story." She leaned back. A memory popped up into my mind then and I found myself talking before I could stop.

"Does this have anything to do with those friends Embry mentioned losing?" Claire looked surprised and then her smile turned sad.

"Yeah, he has a lot to do with that." I didn't want to ask anymore, didn't want to hear her speak in that sad sort of way that reminded me of how I felt.

"Listen, Claire, you can't tell the boys this."

"Neveah, as if I could." She turned to me then, her smile still sad. "I don't even want to imagine the hellstorm that would happen if they knew… and if Ethan found out…."

"Uhm…" I winced as I spoke. "I think Ethan already knows."

"He already knows!" Claire sat down, "This is a lot of information."

"I can hear them talk." I gave her even more, needing someone to hear my secrets. "Like, I can read any werewolf's mind. Including his. And he called me Alpha, before he threw me off the cliff."

"Neveah…" Claire looked worried. She stood up suddenly, pacing the kitchen. "That's why he's after you. Quil told me they couldn't figure out why. This must be it."

"It must be, but I don't know what he wants from me." I stared at my hands, wrapped around the mug I had. "And I'm not sure where to go from here."

"It's okay." Claire smiled at me, "It's a secret safe with me, but-" She came to take the seat beside me instead of across from me. "It doesn't change the fact that you're still in danger. How did you even figure this out?"

"Don't you dare." Ellie interrupted me. "Don't you dare tell her the part about me. I'm so absolutely horrified at this, you need to have all the lessons before they find out. You're putting her in so much danger and that's against everything I've been trying to teach you. You're supposed to be their protector." Ellie's lecture unnerved me. I hesitated.

"Claire." I shook my head to myself. "It's wrong of me to even involve you while that maniac is running around." Ellie was right.

"I know him better than you." She said, "I can help you. Just let me help you. What exactly can you do?"

"I can read their minds, alpha command them. I can turn off my scent so they can't find me as easily, and I can sever the bond between imprints. I assume there's more, but that's all I've learned."

"Right." Claire breathed out and looked to think for a moment. "So you can't heal?"

"Heal?" I asked.

"Yeah, like, heal the wolves and their imprints. Resurrect them if they've passed recently?"

"Uhm, I can't yet. I don't know if that's something I can do."

"Ethan, he thinks you can do that." Claire told me. "That's why he's looking for you." It was the chill that came over me then, as if someone was listening, that caused me not to answer her. Ellie had become quiet, stopped her pacing, was flashing a red alert sign silently in my head.

"I'm getting really tired, so maybe we should talk later." I said, looking around me, unsure of what I was trying to find.

"Okay." Claire nodded. "Okay, but, tomorrow, we talk okay?" I nodded and she squeezed my hand. "We're gonna figure this out."

"I know." We didn't do much else that night, finally settling on going to sleep. Claire made a makeshift bed on the couch, and I headed up to my room. It was late into the night and I couldn't stop myself from thinking about the events of what I had done. Could Claire actually keep that secret? Could I actually trust her with that kind of information? Still, all night I'd felt eyes and ears on me, the same kind of chill I'd felt the first night I was here.

"Where are you?" I whispered as I stood at the window in my bedroom, staring at the darkness of the property. It felt empty here without Kyle and Annie. Even now, I couldn't stop reliving the images in my mind. I could see the wolf, staring at me, forcing me to acknowledge him.

" _Alpha."_ It's like I could hear his voice in my head still, beckoning me. " _Alpha, are you ready?"_

"Neveah don't." Ellie was there, so big she filled all of my thoughts. "Don't listen to him." I was still staring at the open window in front of me. The backyard was suddenly brighter, the moon coming out from behind the clouds, but I couldn't see any notice of the wolf. It wasn't a memory, he was speaking to me. He knew I could hear him. "Neveah? Please." She begged me to go back to bed, to ignore what I was hearing. My mind was a blank page and even I didn't know the words I was writing down.

" _Wolf."_ I replied, still trying to find him in the yard. Running on the adrenaline in my blood, I didn't need Ellie to guide me. " _Im listening now."_

" _You have a tight watch around you. You're making me do desperate things to get close to you. But you're the only one who can help me."_

" _Why would I help you?"_ He was standing in the yard now, his gleaming yellow eyes meeting mine. His teeth were up in a snarl. Without even thinking, I descended the stairs on quiet feet. When I got to the living room, I turned to stare at Claire who was sleeping on the couch. Ellie's words rang in my head, about how I was supposed to be their protector. I'd spent so much time feeling bothered about how protective they were of me, I hadn't realized I should be the one protecting them. It felt as though I was a shield to the pack, to Annie, to Claire, to everyone I cared about. I stepped out the front door, letting it stay open to avoid startling her awake. Ethan hadn't moved, just his head switched to stare at me.

"Wolf." I whispered, forgetting for a moment I didn't have to talk outloud. His snarl almost turned into a smile, a gargle of a growl coming from his throat.

" _It's Ethan, Alpha."_

" _It's Neveah, Ethan."_ Talking in my head felt fuzzy, and I realized Ellie was trying to pull me back from what I was doing. I hadn't realized the stress my body was exhibiting. The shaking in my hands, the thrumming of the blood in my ears, the deep purposeful breaths. The area was so much lighter than I remembered from my bedroom.

"You're heightening your senses." Ellie was breathing heavy, still trying to pull me back. "Neveah please, you don't know what you're doing. You can't control all of this energy yet."

"Shut up for a minute." And I silenced her, and just like that I couldn't hear her anymore, couldn't sense her. For the first time since I'd met her, I felt alone with myself again.

" _Neveah."_ The wolf came closer, until he was five feet away from me.

" _That's close enough."_ He stopped, mid-step, and sat down.

" _How annoying."_ He said. " _I just wanted to smell you for a moment. Free Alpha's smell the most delicious, and I only got a taste last time."_

" _Don't smell me."_

" _Stop trying my patience."_ He growled, his claws flexing against the grass. " _You're wasting time."_

" _You tried to kill me. I think I'm a little dignified in being cautious."_

" _Fine."_ Ethan sighed, laying down fully. " _Come here, I won't hurt you."_ Despite my own instincts, I needed to feel him. To know he was really here, and really in front if me.

" _I should kill you."_ I said, moving closer. He chuckled.

" _Ah, you don't know much about being an Alpha then."_ His eyes traced me as I came closer. " _Alpha's can't kill wolves. You're made to protect us."_

" _But you can kill me."_

" _Yes. But who would want to? We'd rather mate you than kill you."_

" _I have an imprint."_ I was so close to his fur, my fingers a hair's length away.

" _Ah yes. Embry. He taints your scent. But I can change that, if you tire of him."_

" _Shut up."_ I'd finally reached him, my hands curling into his fur. Soft, a bit bristly in spots from mud and twigs, but he was real. He was here and he was real.

" _Alpha?"_ Ethan chuckled. " _Have you not even seen your mate in his wolf form yet?"_

" _I said shut up."_ I felt energized, I felt amazing. I felt the energy from him flow into me from my fingertips.

" _Wolves live in packs."_ Ethan said. _"The alpha needs wolf contact to stay grounded. You're so weak because they've been trying to hide from you."_

" _What do you want from me?"_

" _To come with me."_ I snapped my hand back as if I'd been burned. " _My daughter needs you."_ For a moment, our eyes connected in a heat searing moment. A moment where my brain felt foggy enough that the decision didn't come to me as easily as I would've liked it too. The trance melted away quickly as the wind picked up to claw at me.

" _I won't go."_ I backed away now, feeling the danger carving into my skin. He stood back up on his legs as I did, his eyes narrowing.

" _I'm not going to give you a choice."_

" _You can't make me go."_ I shook my head, trying to find Ellie in my head. She was somewhere in the back, I could feel a small presence as I tried more and more to reach her.

" _Of course I can't. But maybe this will convince you."_ There was a flash of fur then, before I could speak, before I could ask anymore.

Then I heard the smashing. Another scream. It reminded me of Annie, but I knew it was Claire. I flung my body across the lawn, back towards the front door. I felt out of control, and Ellie was now full force and back in my head.

" _No Claire no."_ Quil's voice was shrill, and I could hear the rest of them trying to calm him down. But one voice rang through it all, the same but separate.

" _Follow them. And I won't hurt anyone."_ Ethan's voice was venomous, violent.

My throat felt tight, like I couldn't breathe. It was in a blind disbelief that I realized he was blackmailing me, he was using my new sense of protection to his benefit. That great sense of doom that characterized anxiety reverberated through my lungs. I paused at the back door, swung wide open. I stared at the empty space for a moment, trying to tune out Ellie who was yelling at me to stay.

Forgiveness was easier to attain than permission.

I flung myself out the door. No one was there to stop me, although I couldn't help but wonder where Embry was, how he was handling this situation. My brain was trying to throw images of his injured body at me, but I shook them out, knowing Ethan knew how advantageous it may be to use him later. The forest was surprisingly dry, when I expected the dew of the leaves to leave cold spots on my clothes. I felt a pull towards where I was going, and I prayed my sixth sense was leading me somewhere.

"Go back." Ellie was beside herself. "You don't belong there."

"It's my fault."

"What were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know what I was doing."

"I know." Ellie was calming down quicker than I was. "Honestly, the fact that you managed to get your heightened senses working is what matters most. They'll be very helpful."

"What's the plan?" I asked, flicking away a spider web I'd run through.

"Well first, slow down, they'll hear you right away. Secondly, turn off that scent. I'm sure you don't need me to tell you how." I tried and I felt Ellie nod in my head. Everything was like muscle memory, I felt like I already knew how to do everything. I felt stronger than before, as if I wasn't uncertain anymore. A branch scratched at my face and I felt a trickle of blood fall down my cheek, but I couldn't bother to wipe it away.

"We need something here. You need to come up with something." I said, my steps now quieter that I wasn't rushing. I could see the path the wolves had made, something I assumed was part of these weird new senses.

"Your logic is surprisingly both practical and illogical. In the sense you expect me to have all the answers now and yet no idea what I actually know."

"I'm counting on you." If I couldn't save Annie, then I had to at least try to save Claire. The trees parted and I stopped mid stride, crouching down beside a bush as the small clearing opened up to me. In the next moment, my eyes scanned Claire, who was lying unconscious on the ground. I wasn't close enough to notice if her chest was moving, but I assumed it wouldn't have been so quiet if she wasn't. There was only one wolf looming over Claire, and I stilled, scared a movement would cause the wolf to react. Where was the rest of the pack? It had taken me longer than I'd thought to get here.

"Don't worry." Ellie said, "Stay calm and focus." I didn't respond to her, waiting for the next movement. They all came in then, dressed in sweatpants, and I saw Seth and Colin holding onto each of Quil's arms. Jacob and Embry were in front, shoulders back. I saw Ethan emerge from the other side, standing in front of the other three men, glaring across.

"Let her go!" Quil was yelling. He kept trying to lunge, but Seth and Colin were ready, holding him in place even as Colin took an elbow to the face.

"Jeez Quil, you're gonna break my nose again!" Colin was struggling more than Seth was.

"You shouldn't have followed me." Ethan said. "You really should've just kept back."

"After you took my imprint!" Quil broke the hold of the two for a second, but they tackled him in the next moment, a mess of struggling bodies. I was surprised at the strength he had to pull away from two of the others. But in the next moment, I remembered that Claire was an imprint, and Quil would do anything for her.

"The strings." I murmured, and Ellie sighed in quiet hesitant agreement.

"Enough Quil." Jacob turned, "You're gonna get her killed if you don't shut up." He continued to struggle anyway.

"My meeting is scheduled and about to begin. So I would prefer you leave and you can have your imprint back safe. If you refuse, I can make the decision easier." He turned to the wolf overtop of her, his jaw opening over her neck, pausing. I didn't know what to do, didn't have a clue when to jump in.

"You don't 'jump in'." Ellie was whispering in my head. "You stay quiet and you look for an opening where you can help without them knowing."

"Stop it!" Quil was losing it.

"We have to do it." I shook my head at my thoughts I'd barely breathed aloud. Fighting my own coaxed me into closing my eyes, focusing on just Quil and Claire. She guided my breathing, guided my thoughts. When I opened them, a small thin tendril was between them, bright red and vibrating, like a heartbeat that couldn't find a rhythm.

"She's in danger, so it's erratic. Harder to cut." Ellie mentioned. "But just wait, just focus on keeping it in your gaze."

"Okay." I whispered, feeling my eyes start to strain.

"You killed so many of our friends, looking for someone who was never with us, why did you come back?" Embry questioned, almost in an unrecognizable snarl. His voice distracted me and for a moment I almost lost sight of what I was doing. I wanted to stand in front of him, I felt a need to protect him.

"Remember that's just your imprint bond talking, he's totally fine. He's too strong for Ethan either way." Ellie was calm, a fish that was used to the storm fighting above the surface of the water.

"It's been ten years. I've spent my time looking for you. I knew she would be with you." Ethan remarked, showing a calm composure in comparison to my wolves.

"Who?" Jacob was trying his hardest not to move, but I felt the strength emanating from his body. His own Alpha instincts were trying to take over, I recognized the authoritative aura around him. "You never gave us a reason. Just made us run before we could grieve."

"The Alpha." Ethan was yelling. "The Alpha you've been hiding from me."

"We still don't know who that is." Embry stepping in, the loudness of his voice booming in the silence as it bounced off the trees. "They're not here. All we have are our imprints and our wolves." I could feel my heart burst, thrumming in my ears.

"If they die, it's on you. My daughter is lying in a cold sleep, kept barely alive by the same ancestors we share. I need The Alpha to save her." Ethan looked too young to be a father. Too young to be a killer.

"How are we supposed to help you when we don't know who you're talking about?"

"Cut it." Ellie whispered as the tendril straightened out. I didn't think, didn't need to think of how to do it, just felt the tension release. Everything stilled then. My vision went back to normal, but I fell to my knees, unaware of how much focus and energy the act had taken.

"What?" Quil had stopped struggling, and Seth and Colin hesitantly let him stand. "What's happening?"

"What is it?" Jacob turned his head to look at Quil.

"Claire! Claire are you okay?" But he wasn't fighting as much, just yelling. Ethan was smirking.

"Ah, she's here." His gaze panned the clearing. "Come out Alpha!" The others were looking around to, but I could barely breathe let alone walk. Quil was still staring dumbfounded at Claire and I couldn't help but wonder what it felt like, to lose that imprint bond. It was keeping her safe, but it must feel like a terrible loss.

 _Alpha, don't say a single command. I can keep your secret and let you save your friend or I can let her die as you watch. I can give an Alpha command much faster than you, remember that. I want to give you a little test._ I didn't know what he meant, not until a hand clamped over my mouth and an arm wrapped around my neck from behind, lifting me. The man stood there for a couple moments, letting me kick out despite my ever-present shortness of breath.

"I have a surprise for you." Ethan said. I realized his plan had been much more than I'd anticipated. I'd expected the blackmail, had ran all the way out here just to stumble into his kidnapping. The man behind me started moving into the clearing, and by the time we'd gotten there, I hadn't had time to cut my own imprint tendril.

"Neveah!" Embry was too fast for the others to grab, and he was running, shifting, before they could register it was even me. I saw the confusion, I started hearing it flash in my head as the others became increasingly more concerned. Two imprints; both imprints, in the hands of the enemy. The man threw me to the side and I rolled a bit in the dirt before I landed beside Claire. Ethan jumped in front of Embry and they both rolled, teeth snapping at the others neck. As I looked up, coughing up dirt, the wolf that stood over Claire hadn't moved, besides his one eye that stared to survey me.

"Neveah, are you okay?" Seth yelled at me and I turned from the wolf to him.

"I'm fine!" Nobody else was moving. Embry and Ethan had disengaged, were backing away from each other. Embry was moving slowly towards me, which caused Ethan to snap at him from the side. His head then turned, and he nodded at the wolf over Claire. He closed his teeth some more, the tips procuring blood from her skin.

"Don't!" I cried, reaching a hand to twist into the fur of his neck. Ellie was yelling at me to stop, but I could barely keep control of my own emotions. "Why are you doing this?" Ethan and Embry both disappeared again, each having someone throw sweatpants at them as they left. When they came back, Ethan had a large cut across his shoulder.

"I'll kill you if you hurt her." Embry threatened as he came back into view, slightly more ruffled but otherwise not hurt. I wish I'd spent more time looking at his wolf form.

"You couldn't kill me last time." Ethan laughed, coming over to kneel beside me, grabbing my hand to untwist it from the clutch I had.

"Its hard to kill a man with no pride or dignity left." Embry's gaze was piercing. "I remember you begging for your life." Ethan helped me to my feet, his hand a death grip on my upper arm.

"You should be careful what you say to a man who can kill your mate in a second." Embry didn't know he wouldn't, that he couldn't risk it.

"Where's this Alpha?" Jacob spoke up again. "You said they were here."

"Ever seen a werewolf?" Ethan had ignored him, choosing to direct his questions to me. "The shaking in your arms tell me that he hasn't told you yet." He moved my hand to the cut on his shoulder. I could see the blood snake its way through my fingers, felt how warm and sticky it was.

 _Heal me, Alpha. Show me you can heal me._ "Don't act dumb." I gritted my teeth. "I know who you are." I tried to pull my hand away, not wanting to be touching him anymore.

"You don't have a clue who I am." Ethan pulled me even closer to him, his arm snaking around my waist, the other hand clasping against my neck. Quil was still staring dumbfounded at Claire. I'd expected somehow less of a reaction. I expected more rationality than petrification.

"Then tell me." I tried to stand tall, tried to not let my body pull away from him as it wanted to. I paled as he leaned his head down towards my face, his eyes still staring into mine. "Where did you come from?" His face had stopped inches from mine, the only sound in the clearing was coming from Embry, a growl that only became more aggravated.

"If you ever have pups." Ethan stated. "You'll know exactly why I'm doing this. I need the Alpha. I suspected that if I put you and that other girl in danger, then they would show me exactly what they can do. I realize now the Alpha I thought was there isn't nearly what I expected." He was talking about me to me.

"Fuck you." I whispered, knowing everyone in the hearing could clear me. "Stop expecting a guardian angel to show themselves, just so that you don't have to be the monster you know you are." My confidence was from my knowledge that he wanted me alive, and my words were from the anger I felt in my heart.

"Neveah…" Embry's voice was a warning, somehow softer than what he'd sounded like a minute before, but with the assertiveness I expected of a wolf.

"You're weak." Ethan growled, his arms tightening. "You're far less than I expected."

"And you're just as I would've expected, less than nothing." _You better hope my dead body is enough to help you, because that's the only way you'll ever get me to go with you._ I spoke to him in my mind and then, without even being aware of me wanting to do it, I spit in his face.

"You test me." He shifted then and a searing pain went through my forearm. Crying out, I clamped my hand over the bite. Dumbfounded, I watched as he backed away. Embry reached me barely a breath later, lifting me into his arms.

The other wolves were backing away as well, even the one above Claire was taking steps back.

 _You forget your place, Alpha. I've been as nice to you as my patience will allow. Never forget, if you force my hand, I'll force yours._

This wasn't blackmail. This had been a test of my strength, at the expense of my friends and my own physical wellbeing. Warm blood poured out of my wound as my hand tried to keep the pressure onto it. Embry was whispering in my ear, words that were supposed to be comforting as Jacob and Quil were above Claire. But I couldn't focus on anything but Ethans yellow eyes as he backed away.

 _Next time I see you, I'll be much more persuasive. I promise._


	16. Who Are You

**A/N: I'm a bad person. I apologize for the incredibly long, ridiculous, inexcusable wait. I started school and trying to balance that and work and everything is super weird. Only a couple chapters left now.**

It was hard to watch Embry try and piece together how to tell me what had happened. He had bandaged up my arm silently, muttering to himself about stitches. I hadn't said anything since we left the clearing. He'd carried me back, the sweat of his skin cold against me, reaching the house in only minutes. In that small span of time, I couldn't think of anything to say or do to comfort him. I felt lost in his arms, felt incomplete.

"Are you okay?" Embry finally asked me, almost flinching at the absurdity of his own question. I blinked at him a few times, wondering how to tell him that this wasn't as abnormal to me as he thought.

"I guess." The silence fell over us again like the hush before a theatre performance starts. I wondered which one of us was the antagonist. We both had kept secrets. We both had lied. Did the blame lie inside me, who had more answers than he did, or he, the one who had known about his own supernatural connection far before I did.

"You arm seems okay." His voice caught and then he was leaning forward. We were sitting across from each other, me on the bed and him on a chair in front of me. Normally, his presence could fill up a room both physically and electrically. His vulnerability now shocked me further, made me squirm, and was more painful than the stinging in my arm. When he leaned forward, his head only a few inches from my knee, I couldn't resist the urge to allow my fingers to run through the tendrils.

"You're a werewolf?" I asked, already knowing the answer but knowing he needed to say it. We couldn't figure out how to speak the truth, had kept each other in a shadow for so long we didn't know where the light was coming from anymore.

"Yeah." He looked up at me, his hand resting on top of mine, our fingers tangling together." You seem so calm about it."

"Well it doesn't change you." I wondered how I would've reacted without all my previous knowledge.

"But just knowing that's what I am is only the beginning of the story." His eyes were desperate and I almost sensed a shake in his hand. "And the details are always the hardest part."

"Okay." I said. "Then how about we get some coffee and some snacks and just…. Talk about it."

"You're giving me an out." He shook his head. "Why are you trying to make this harder for me?"

"Because I'm trying to make it easier for me." I took my hand out of his and went to the door, my hand pausing on the doorknob. A glance over my shoulder told me Embry hadn't followed me, wasn't even looking at me, as he stared at the spot I'd just left. "I just want to be able to hear you."

"You're speaking in a lot of riddles today." He said, his voice more even than before.

"I aim to incite curiosity." I cleared my throat. "But also I haven't had a coffee in a bit so maybe its just an effect of the caffeine withdrawals."

"Maybe." He said, standing up himself, "Or maybe you're trying to avoid this conversation and that's the part I can't figure out." I went to say something but Embry was across the room before I could. His hand on my hip stilled me, his hand on my face defeated me, and his lips on mine silenced me. It was chaste, quick, a kiss meant only to convey promises I wasn't sure I could accept.

"Jacob can explain the next part better." Embry pushed open the door. I hadn't even realized my hand had fallen from the handle. "And I need the help."

We trudged downstairs, quiet again, and the boys were waiting there except for Quil. I remember then: I hadn't set the imprint bond back.

" _I did."_ Ellie said, "Which was tough." I wanted to ask how, but Embry pulled a chair out for me and I sat down gingerly. He paused behind me before moving to the coffee maker.

"You're okay?" Jacob asked.

"I guess." I repeated my response again. "You guys are werewolves?"

"Yes." An uncomfortable silence followed. "I guess I should just start, you deserve the answers." Jacob looked troubled. "You heard Ethan talk about the Alpha?"

"Yes." I winced at the short tone of my voice.

"We barely understand it ourselves, but my grandfather told me about it when we were still back in La Push…"

"La Push?" I questioned, not sure I'd ever heard of a place that seemed a lazy mix of French and English.

"It's where we're from." Embry explained. "Our home town."

"Why did you come here?"

"Later." Embry shook his head.

Jacob cleared his throat, "The Alpha is one of the legends that we weren't sure was real. The legends about werewolves were real, but this one seemed impossible. Each wolf pack has an Alpha, right? They can issue commands, they lead the group, everything you would expect a normal Alpha of a pack to do."

"Right. Who is the Alpha here?"

"I am." Jacob said. My eyes glanced away as I heard the coffee machine bubble for a moment. "But this Alpha, the one Ethan is looking for, is different. They are the Alpha of all wolves. There's only one and they only happen rarely. Rare enough that to actually even think one is in existence is almost crazy to think."

"But Ethan does." Jacob nodded at my comment.

"He does. Ethan is the Alpha of a pack from farther north than here. When we first met him, he was civil when he met the group. His daughter, also a wolf, was sick. He'd asked the ancestors to spare her until he could find something to help her. They abided, by some stroke of luck, and when he took her to their traditional grounds, they placed her into some sort of sleep."

"Ancestors?"

"I assume the spirits of them, but…." Jacob exhaled. "We wolves… we don't age when we're actively transforming back and forth."

A thought passed through my brain, "Quil and Claire are imprints and she looks a lot older than him." Jacob's smile turned sad and his eyes shifted to Embry.

"They met when she was very young." Embry explained. "Since we became werewolves, it's been about 30 years, maybe, give or take."

"So, how old are you really?"

"We took breaks periodically, to try and age a little bit, but I'd say around about to 45." Embry didn't look uncomfortable, just stated the fact as though it was nothing.

"45." I tried not to sound shocked or taken aback, and I could sense Ellie trying to shroud my mind in a calming fog.

"That's besides the important point." Jacob focused my attention back on him again. "Ethan wants the Alpha to save his daughter."

"How do you know he was even telling the truth?"

Jacob sighed. "We had no choice but to believe him. If werewolves are true, couldn't a deep spiritual sleep be true? They had also told him that no human medicine would save her, no amount of praying or herbal remedy would bring her back from the brink of death she'd be suspended in. They told him about the True Alpha."

"What is that?" The lie felt acid on my tongue, but this was my chance to really understand what this all meant. Ellie had told me the theory of being one, had told me that I was one, but maybe Jacob could tell me why.

"Im honestly not sure I truly know." Jacob sighed. "From what my grandfather told me, they are humans with great spiritual connection without the physical transformation. He thought maybe the purpose was to prevent war between werewolf packs, so there was always a peacekeeper, but it's all speculation. Most wolves, besides this Alpha, have a gene, we assume, that allows them to transform when vampires are near. But these Alpha's are chosen based upon their spirit, or so the legend goes."

"Vampires?" I was really surprised at that one.

"A different conversation for later, again." I stayed quiet at Jacobs request and he continued. "True Alpha's can read the minds of all wolves, communicate if they choose to. They can choose to stay hidden by masking scent or not allowing a wolf to hear their thoughts. They can alpha command any of them. They can sever imprint bonds." Jacob paused. "But the most important, they can heal."

"Heal?"

"They can heal wolves of any and all injuries, which is what Ethan wants and needs them for."

"Why does he think you have this Alpha then?"

Jacob shook his head. "The ancestors told him that she, or he for that matter, would be an imprint to someone in our pack. But, we haven't found them yet. Myself, Seth, and Colin are still without imprints so its possible they're somewhere. When we said we didn't know where they were, Ethan lost the civility we had first seen and managed to kill a couple of us." As Jacob spoke, Colin left the room, but I saw the clenching of his fists as he left. "We fled the town to save our families and the rest of the pack that wanted to lead normal lives. We couldn't stop them, but we tried. And the more we tried the more of us suffered. So we ran. And for awhile that worked."

"But now he's back." Embry placed the coffee in front of me, and I opted to take a sip over asking a question for a brief moment.

"So do you believe this Alpha still exists?"

"I didn't." Jacob said, "Until today." I felt a wall of ice fall down my back and stared at him, somehow afraid of him knowing my secret.

"Why?"

"Claire and Quil are imprints, and they lost the bond at some point in that clearing. There's only one person I know who could do that. So they're here, and we're gonna find them. If they aren't an imprint, we can hand them over and go back home."

"You would sacrifice them like that?" I asked, so surprised at his response I had spilt a small amount of my coffee onto the table.

"I've lived in exile." Jacob explained. "I've lived so far from La Push and our friends and family for too long and I need to go back home."

"And if they're an imprint?" I asked. When Jacob's eyes panned to me, I realized how tired he was, how his energy to fight was running on fumes and willpower.

"I haven't thought that far."

"Why not just keep fighting? Why sacrifice someone?"

"We tried fighting." Embry said as he took the last empty seat at the three person table. "His pack is 30 or more and he can call reinforcements in a flash. The only reason he hasn't taken us out is because he believes we have the Alpha. Another problem is that if he finds her before we do, or takes her from us, then he might just get rid of us."

"We can't keep fighting." Seth placed a hand on my shoulder. "We can't keep fighting for something we don't have, or even want. We know the Alpha is here, they must've known the suffering we've gone through because of them, and still they hide. If the Alpha cares so little about us, then why would we care so much about them?" I felt my chagrin in my posture, felt a guilt pierce like little needles down my spine. "It's the only chance we have of survival at this point."

"Right now we're his only clue, his only lead, and we've only been allowed to live because of that." Jacob finished as Seth backed away again. We were quiet for a moment, to let the information sink in.

"If you think they were at the clearing, why do you think they didn't come out?"

"Cowardly." Jacob murmured. "They saw you get hurt, Claire was unconscious, we were struggling in every aspect. And still they hid."

"Even if they did show themselves." Embry interrupted. "If it was an imprint we would've been done for. Nothing about that situation was going to work out for us."

"I see that." I nodded, trying my best to seem impartial.

"We need to know what happened, Neveah." Jacob asked me, his tone softer. "How did they get you to that clearing? Did they come here?"

"Do we really need to do this now?" Embry questioned. "It's barely been an hour since it happened. She needs to rest."

"Yes, we need to do it now." Jacob nodded at me. "I know this is a lot of information, but you need to know now that you're apart of the pack. All this effects you too. I'll give you a couple hours, but we all need to know."

"I know." Ellie was at the edge of my mind, asking for a moment of my time. "I think I'll take a shower."

"Good idea." Embry nodded, "Jacob and I have to talk anyway." I went upstairs and didn't feel an ounce of relief until the bathroom door clicked shut.

"I have something I need to tell you." Ellie said.

"Get in line." I responded, "I just need a break from you in my head and all those boys."

"That's what I need to talk to you about." Her tone was flat. "We only have a couple hours before I have to leave."


	17. Alone

"What are you saying?" I paused in the middle of squeezing shampoo into my hand.

"Don't make this harder than it has to be." My throat was dry.

"But I haven't learned everything… have I?"

"No." Ellie sighed. "But pushing me out of your mind is usually the final step to learning everything. I managed to pull myself back but with that comes an expiration date." I couldn't talk anymore, didn't want to hear anymore. We fell into a silence and Ellie faded from my mind, still observant. I'd forgotten to take the bandages off and they'd become so wet they were falling off my arm, but when I pulled them away I stared at the smooth surface of the skin there. Was this the healing part that Ethan wanted? That Jacob had talked about? And why hadn't it worked with the bruising from Kyle earlier?

I pushed my forehead against the now warm tile of the shower. I felt lost. I didn't know what I was doing or what I was supposed to be saying, but I felt a loss building in my chest. They would find out. They may already know and the choice of me staying or going didn't lie with them. I had to choose. And having to choose between being with Embry and saving him didn't seem like a real choice at all. From across the hall, I could hear my cellphone ringing and shrugged it off. People rarely called me; it was probably a telemarketer.

When the shower was over, I basked in the steam for a few moments. The heavy fog inside the bathroom was like a heavy blanket. The weight of it eased the tenseness of choice. I rummaged in the bathroom cabinet and found some gauze, wrapping up the area where the cut should've been. I wasn't ready. They weren't ready. My phone went off again and I opened the door to go to it, but Jacob staring at me from across the hall surprised me.

"Where's Embry?" I asked, absently combing my fingers through the thick wet tendrils of my hair.

"Out." Jacob said. "Needed to check outside."

"Okay." I waited for him to speak, not sure why he had been waiting so close by.

"Who were you talking to?" Jacob asked, his eyes persistent in their staring.

"Myself." I responded, trying not to panic as I realized he had heard me.

"Yourself?" Jacob questioned, moving from the wall to come closer to me.

"When's Embry coming back?" I'd never been afraid of Jacob, but in that moment I felt terrified.

"You told me at the hospital you knew you were Embry's imprint. I want to know how."

"I read it." I blurted out, feeling that acid feeling of vomit rise in my throat. "And he just fit everything."

"Neveah. C'mon."

"I don't know what you want to hear." I didn't have time for this. I didn't have time to explain everything. I had a couple hours to learn everything I could to save them and he was standing in my way. I had to do what I could.

"You've been lying to us."

"Stop it." I moved past him. "Just don't, Jacob. I don't need this right now."

"I need you to be ready." Jacob followed me as I walked towards the bedroom.

"Why?"

"Because we're going back." Jacob blurted out. I paused in the doorway.

"Going back where?"

"To La Push." Jacob sighed, one of his hands covering his eyes. "Ethan is back and the wolves there are willing to help us fight."

"Everyone knows this?"

"It was a group decision."

"Didn't you leave to protect them? How does Ethan showing up mean going back?"

"We're tired of running Nev." Jacob told me. "We're not going to stand here anymore and just let him annihilate us. Let him chase us from our homes. We can't do it anymore."

"So what does that mean?" Jacob let out a heavy breath that clung to the air around us.

"It means you have a couple big choices to make. To come with us or to stay."

"Kyle and Annie are still in the hospital. You would just abandon them?"

"Kyle is being released today actually." Jacob sighed. "And it's safer for him to be with us in La Push."

"What about Annie?"

Jacob was quiet and then reached forward to put a hand on my shoulder. "Neveah, we both know what's going to happen to her."

"We don't actually." I brushed his hand off. "And you're wrong for underestimating her."

"Maybe you're wrong for overestimating what the human body can withstand. Kyle is a wolf, Neveah, and that's the only reason he is still alive right now. We managed to keep him alive and the hospital staff unaware of how quickly his wounds were actually healing, but we can't do that for Annie."

"Her parents said she's doing fine. I saw her, she doesn't look that bad. You don't know."

"She fell off a cliff and hit her head on the rocks. That's the reality. She's not gonna be okay, Neveah. And even if she was…."

"He's not gonna just leave!" I whipped around. "Aren't imprints for life?"

"They are." Jacob refused to meet my gaze, "but what happened with Quil and Claire. We know now that imprint bonds can be broken."

"Not lightly." Ellie still wasn't coming to my rescue and I felt myself shaking with the anxiety of the situation.

"I think you're the Alpha." Jacob finally admitted to the suspense he was holding onto. "And I think you know what you have to do."

"Stop it." I gritted my teeth. "Would you just stop? The Alpha can heal too apparently, in case you forgot. If I were her, don't you think I would've already healed them both?"

"I think some part of the legend is wrong." Jacob responded. Neither of us had moved for awhile and my heart thrummed against my ribcage like a dog anticipating a treat. "The Alpha is a strong being with unbelievable power over werewolves. They don't hide because they don't have to. They aren't afraid because no one will physically harm them. Yet this one hides. So, it's either a weak Alpha or not a true one." God he was trying to hurt me. He knew it was me.

"Why didn't you say this accusation in front of everyone?" I finally accused, feeling the defeat in my shoulders. The guilt filled up my lungs with water as though it was trying to drown me, as though the tumultuous sea of my life was only because I hadn't had the ship to sail across in the first place.

"They know my suspicious, but most of them disagree. The evidence isn't exactly defintive, but I think we both know the answer."

"I'm not it." But even as I said it, I knew he didn't believe me, not completely.

"We're leaving in a week."

"Embry won't go without me." I didn't sound as steadfast in the fact as I wanted to be.

"He won't." Jacob agreed. "But he's one strong wolf. He can protect you on his own if he has to, but the others need a safe place. Colin already lost his best friend, we already lost a couple pack mates. We won't be as surprised this time." I didn't respond to him. His steps faded away as he left. My breathing was getting ragged and I felt the edge of a panic attack. The biting fear in my chest that spread to my fingertips, the doom that my heart increased with each beat.

My room still held a tiny scent of Embry when I stepped in. I tried to breathe it all in. I clung to it as though my only lifeline was his scent. It was working, until my cellphone rang again. The screen read an unknown number again and I was in no mood to answer.

"Ellie." I whispered.

"Yes." She asked, just as softly.

"If we have a few hours, let's learn to heal."

"It's not that easy."

"Why? The rest weren't that hard. I need this. I can't win without this."

"This is different." Annie sighed. "Everything else has been on a spiritual level, injecting thoughts, alpha commands, severing imprint ties, even turning off your scent isn't quite as physical as you'd think. This is physical action, it takes more than just will."

"We don't have much time, just tell me what to do." I had to save Annie. If I could save Annie then maybe I could save everyone.

"I'm sorry Neveah." Ellie was despondent. "This is something you have to wait to happen."

"You can't…." My voice caught and I tried to cough to cover it up.

"I can feel your emotions." Ellie wasn't trying to comfort me nor trying to dissuade me. "This isn't something you're going to be able to do."

"Tell me what to do. You always tell me what to do." She was quiet at my begging and it broke me.

"Let's go to the spring, Neveah." Ellie finally said. "At the very least, it should give you some peace."

"What does that mean?"

"You'll see." I felt hope and determination flare in my chest again. I changed quickly and allowed my mind to open up to the wolves around me. Jacob was downstairs, feeling guilty for what he'd said to me, doubting the Alpha inside me. Still, he thought they were flawed. He felt as though they were being punished for a legend that wasn't completely true. That guilt bled into me.

The backdoor was easy enough to sneak to, especially when they couldn't smell me and I could hear and sense where they were. Ellie had been right, the heightened senses were a good sign and made it a lot easier for me to get away. The pathway to the spring was clear, the sun shining so brightly that I winced at it's beams. The spring hadn't changed from the last time I'd been there and I paused for a moment to take in this still moment of my life that was untouched by wolf or human.

"Why am I here?" The water of the spring shimmered and a figure rose up out of it. Someone I thought I recognized, a prickling in the back of my skull.

"Ellie." The silhouette of a man tilted his head. "An interesting name."

"Everyone has a name." I replied when Ellie didn't.

"I wasn't talking to you." His words were assertive but his tone was soft. "You are a very young Alpha, I see why you're having trouble."

"Who are you?"

"And can I teach you to heal?" He grinned at my taken aback expression. "Just as you can read the minds of wolves, I can read your mind."

"Who are you?" I repeated.

"My name is unimportant and unnecessary, besides the fact it's been forgotten for some time now. But I am one of the first Alpha's that ever graced the packs." He took a step off the surface of the spring and as his toes touched grass, his form became more vivid.

"Dad?" I choked, unable to stop my eyes from bubbling over with tears, feeling that pricking in the back of my head move to my nose.

"I take on the form of who you want to see most." He responded. "You lost your father. I'm sorry to hear."

"But you-" I couldn't speak, couldn't think. All the things that I wanted to ask, that I wanted to know, I couldn't come up with the words. As I struggled to comprehend the image of my father who I hadn't seen for years, Ellie suddenly left my mind. She appeared beside the man and was looking at me very calmly. "Why are-"

"Ellie," His eyes shifted to her. "asked a favour of me. And I'm inclined to allow it." But my brain was still buzzing.

"Wait, I have questions." I managed, "I need you to help me."

"I can't solve your problems, as Ellie has unfortunately been doing. You're weak because she allowed it. The young leading the young was a terrible idea on my part." The empty spot in my head was hard to ignore. "And I don't answer to you."

"She was in danger." Ellie chimed in. "The first day he showed up-"

"I don't need to hear you excuses again." He turned on her and she shrunk back, sitting on one of the stumps around the pond. "Did the situation call for it? Yes. Does that make it right? Absolutely not. She wouldn't have died. And you started giving her 'lessons' before even explaining what was happening and letting her try to figure it out."

"Hey, can you stop." I waved my one arm to try and grab his attention. "Don't lecture her."

"You two are really lucky that this circumstance is what it is or the consequences of you acting this way wouldn't be much tolerated. I may be a spiritual being but I'm just as prone to angry outbursts as any hundred thousand year old wolf would be."

"Wolf?"

His eyes crinkled. "I was a Free Alpha once too, but that's a moot point. I know what it takes to be one and now, you're going to have to figure it out. It's up to you how the rest of this goes. Not relying on one of us will be good for you, and what should've happened from the beginning."

"How do I learn to heal." I had to try again, get back on track to what we were talking about.

"Courage and strength." He responded. "A willingness to help others even though it means allowing yourself to feel their pain, but that isn't why we're here." He took a few steps towards me and then reached out his hand, opening it to reveal my fathers ring. "I believe this belongs to you." Carefully, I grabbed it from the palm of his hand, feeling the warmth of it against my fingertips.

"Thanks." I managed. "Was that the favour?"

"No. Destiny and fate can be cruel to those not ready for it. Most Free, or True as some call them, Alpha's here are established in their pack community. By now, you should've learned everything and been working on making it better. However, through conflict, naivety, and borderline treason by the wolves sworn to follow you, you are weak."

"I'm pretty sure I was told this was supposed to make me feel better."

"I'm going to give you a gift and in return, I am taking Ellie away from you and your ability to return to the spiritual world to speak to us."

"I can't do this by myself!" I yelled, taking a step towards him so we were closer. "I'm not ready to do this alone."

"You've always been ready to do this alone. You've been allowed not to and today, it ends."

"I don't need your gift." I gritted my teeth. "I need to know how to heal so I can give Ethan what he wants and save Annie."

"Well in that case then I will give you a lesson as well." His hands rested on my shoulders and hope flared in my chest. A small fire ready to warm the despair of my own defeat. His eyes, my dads eyes, were swirling. "You can't save everyone, young Alpha."

"Thats it? That's bullshit!" The fire raged then and I pushed him away from me, throwing a punch at the side of his head. Effortlessly, he blocked it and his eyes turned gold.

"You dare speak to an ancestor that way?" But still the rage waged a war inside me and I tried to throw my other first. In a blink, the man threw me back, my feet lifting off the ground. As I collided with the grass, tears fell from my eyes and stained my skin. "You can't fight either." His head turned to Ellie. "What have you been teaching her?"

"I don't know." She responded, her tone guilty. "Nothing went the way it was supposed to. I thought I had a plan that would work." The man kneeled on one knee in front of me and lifted my chin with his hand.

"Don't leave me alone." I begged, weakness overcoming me.

"You will never be truly alone." He responded. "Do not trust wolves besides your imprint. You are the imprint bond in all of them, the authority that rules them, and now, the curse that binds them." His hand moved from my chin to my collarbone and a faint light spread from his fingertips.

"I gift you Ancestral Curse. An alpha should never be physically harmed by wolves. From this point on, since they can't be trusted, any that choose to do so will have a curse set upon them."

"What does it do?"

"You will see." He said. "Stop running from who you are and you will flourish the way we all have before. And as a bonus," His lips touched my forehead in a kiss. "I will also give you the gift of Fight."

"Why won't you just give me what I want? I don't need all of this, I just need to know how to heal them!" His smile irked me but before I could respond he was standing up and walking away from me.

"We all have to lose to learn how to win."

"I don't need motivational quotes! I need answers and teaching and the skills to succeed."

"You don't." Ellie spoke instead. "You need to trust in you."

"Dammit you guys. This isn't fair. This isn't a good trade. This is the opposite of what a good trade is." I was rambling. Somewhere deep in my brain I knew it was more than fair.

"Goodbye Neveah." And in the next blink they were gone.

"No!" I screamed, standing up and running to the fountain, throwing myself into the shallow pool that I remember being way deeper. The water ended at my waist, freezing cold, and I was hyperventilating. "Come back!" I screamed again. They couldn't do this to me. They couldn't just leave me to figure out this mess all by myself. But as I stood there still, the quiet that was so calming earlier now only aggravating me, the sun glinted off something in the grass. My fathers ring.

"I wish you were here." I muttered as I got out of the pool and sat cross-legged on the ground to pick it up. I wished it had been him that showed up. He wouldn't have left me like that, with a kiss and a speech about believing in yourself. It was straight out of a pre-teens novel. It wasn't real. It wasn't fair. It wasn't how the world worked. I pushed the ring onto my finger and left the clearing, hoping no one had noticed I was gone.

The backyard came into view and the thoughts of the wolves inside were calm, not frenzied. Jacob was there. Embry was there. I could hear them all laughing. I sat down on the back steps and tuned everything out. Being alone again felt uneasy. It felt lonely. _You will never be truly alone._ How could he know? I was alone before and maybe that's how it's meant to be.


End file.
